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I am really shy at school!

 
I am really shy. In my classes, I have no one to talk to! When we need to choose a seat or partner in class, I’ll end up sitting alone. I want to make some new friends, but I am too shy to start a convo with my classmates. When I do try to talk to them, it is really awkward and ends badly.

It’s not like I’m a total loner; I do have buds outside of my classes, but I always feel so uncomfortable when I’m in school. How can I break out of my shell and be more outgoing?

Hey girl, believe me when I say I know what it’s like to be a wallflower. People can seem way intimidating especially the first time you talk to them. What worked for me? Giving myself challenges to be more outgoing, doing the things I wasn’t so comfy with and getting involved.

Get your game on with goals
 
Make being more outgoing a personal goal. When I was breaking out of my shell, I found it extremely rewarding to make up li’l challenges for myself. One of my faves was to talk to five different (and new) people and ask how their day was going during the school day. I found when I pushed myself out of my comfort zone doing activities like that, not only did I get closer to my goal, but I made more friends too.

All eyes on you...
 
I also made a point to do more public speaking activities. These activities made me much more comfy with talking to a crowd and raising my voice. One of the most rewarding opts I took was emceeing at my middle school talent show. At the end of the evening, when everyone applauded for me, I realized that I had done it. I wasn’t just the girl in the corner, and you don’t have to be either. Look for activities in your school and community that emphasize speaking and sign up for them. Confidence is most important thing to project.

A team effort
 
The best thing any shy person can do is join a team. Go for a drama production or a sport this spring. Both activity set you up with a core group of kids with -- you guessed it -- the same interests. Make it a personal goal to get to know each person in the ensemble by talking to them one-on-one. Good-bye timidity, hello new BFF!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
 

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POSTED ON 4/5/2010 11:23:00 AM

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HEY! If you need advice or just for someone to listen! Check out my profile!!!! I’m a very good listener and love helping people. I’ve live through tons of stuff and a lot of embarrassing stuff as well so don’t be afraid! I’m here to talk!!!

by GoGreenGoPeace on 4/6/2010 6:30:51 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD my brother has been sick (throw-up sick) for 3 days. Is there any way I can stay away from catching what he has? Also, and this is kinda gross, but when he throws up at night and I hear him, is there any way I can NOT hear him? Without waking anyone up?

 

Hey babe,

First off, make sure you wash your hands ALL the time!  Before you eat, before you brush your teeth, before you blow your nose, etc. etc.  Get rid of those germs right away so they don't have any chance of making you sick too.  You can try sleeping with earplugs or with music on low... that might help block out the sound.

Lauren C.

by Green-Eyed Girl on 4/6/2010 6:28:49 PM

 
 

MOD,
Me and this guy Matt dated last year for 5 months. Then he broke up with me. This year we dated for 5 months. We broke up mutually. About a month after we broke up, he started dating one of my best friends. Matt and I don't talk very often anymore. Matt texted me last night and said he had to tell me something. I asked what and he said "I don't like you anymore.. People say I do and you might think that, but I don't.. I'm sorry." And I told him it was okay because I didn't like him anymore either! Then he said Okay Smile We still friends right? And I said yes and that I wanted to still talk and everything, Then he said "First off, as friends of course, I'm sorry for being a jerk." I asked for what and he said "Just everything. Especially for breaking your heart." I was like "Matt you didn't break my heart! Is that what you've been thinking this whole time? I'm glad we broke up for good this time Smile and he said o... alright... and I asked what was wrong and he said "idk i just... idk i thought we actually truly loved each other.. guess not :p" Then I said "What did you want me to say? I'm not still in love with you, you have been dating my friend for 2 months.. you love her.. and He said "yea :p i know you don't Smile" and i said "i still love you after all we've been thru together and everything, (we have been friends since Kindergarten) but obviously i didn't love him in the same way we used to love each other" he said yeah.. same.. then i told him i was going to sleep and we could talk later. So. What should I do? It's like he wants me to still be in love with him, which is confusing because he just said he didn't like me, and he is dating a different girl. We are good friends.. And I will always have a little something for him but I don't wanna date him.. I love him as a friend. What should I say?

 

Hey girlie,

You handled that situation really well.  You don't love him "like that" anymore but it's true that you will always have some sort of feelings for him - you dated for a while and have known each other for so long!  Just keep trying to have normal conversations with him, where you talk about your day, your opinions, what you like/dislike, etc.  It will take some time to get away from constantly talking about what happened between you, but it's totally possible if you commit to being his friend!

Lauren C.

by sportygirly23 on 4/6/2010 6:23:49 PM

 
 

I'm like that too

by skatefun on 4/6/2010 5:31:10 PM

 
 

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS READING THIS!

if ur reading this girl talk column, u obviously care about advice. visit my profile, post me a question(if its super important, put ***** at the top) and ill answer in 3 days, guaranteed. if ur profile isn't publicly visible, i'll answer ur questions on MY profile(NOW WITH 1600 PLUS COMMENTS!!!). thanks! pass it on to ur friends!

~aspiring advice columnist, lauren

by soccergirl524 on 4/6/2010 4:57:31 PM

 
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