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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

My friend's dad is dying of cancer

 
My good friend’s dad has terminal cancer. I’ve never had the feeling of knowing someone is going to die soon, so I don't know what to say to him. I don’t know how to act around him in normal circumstances or at times when I want to comfort him.
 
How can I still act normal around him for most of the time, and what can I say to comfort him in this difficult time?
 
Hey chica,
 
I’m really sorry to hear about you’re friend and his dad. Losing someone special is always hard and it’s as painful to watch your friend go through it all. However, don’t over think what you can do to comfort him because you’re care and concern is the start of everything that he’ll need.
 
Be a Cheerleader
 
Although you’ve never been in your friend’s situation, I would definitely encourage you to try to see it in his view. Would you want everyone to be constantly reminding you of what is going on by acting awkward around him? Or would you rather have your friends there to cheer you up and just be there for you? This isn’t to suggest that you make your friend completely ignore what’s going on, but to make sure that he’s not totally brought down by this.
 
Just Listen
 
In order to truly comfort your friend, you can also be a bit upfront about it. Tell him that you are aware of what’s going. Acknowledge it. And then, ask him what you can do or what he wants you to do in terms of supporting him. Then, just listen. You don’t need to bring it up again and again if you don’t know what to say because that just might make him feel awkward too. Whether or not he talks, simply be there to show that you’ll be with him entirely.
 
As your friend goes through these difficult times, pay more attention to his every word and action and he’ll know that he’s not alone.
 
Good Luck,
Jean
 

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POSTED ON 4/6/2010 6:41:00 PM

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that's really hard....my friend's mom died when she was in third grade from cancer...i wasn't friends with her then but about 6 months ao her mom's story was on the front page on the newspaper and then just 2 months ago it had been three years we all thought she would be really sad but she organized a whole pmc kids rideon the day of it....my point is with time it'll get better.

by xodancegrl98 on 8/19/2010 9:06:57 PM

 
 

tell your friend, I am sorry for your loss after his dad dies, and just try being there for them.

by sixteengirl93 on 5/17/2010 6:48:49 PM

 
 

yeah, it's really hard. i know cuz my friend's dad has a horrible stomach cancer and he is almost definitely going to die and it is really scary... u just gotta offer 2 help and be the best friend you can be Smile
good luck

by popstar234 on 5/16/2010 10:12:20 PM

 
 

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by <3beauty123 on 5/11/2010 5:54:34 PM

 
 


Oh..Mii..gosh same here my best friend's dad is dying of cancer and starts chemo in a month he also has a brain tumor.. i don't know what to sat to her.
so far i have just said well i am praying for you hunn. i promise things will be ok but they might get worse before they get better.

herparents also just both got laid off and are having financial troubles and has to move to a smller house in the area.
i am afraid she will get depressed..i am soo sorry.. <3

by morgie.mae20 on 5/10/2010 6:28:05 PM

 
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