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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

My friend's dad is dying of cancer

 
My good friend’s dad has terminal cancer. I’ve never had the feeling of knowing someone is going to die soon, so I don't know what to say to him. I don’t know how to act around him in normal circumstances or at times when I want to comfort him.
 
How can I still act normal around him for most of the time, and what can I say to comfort him in this difficult time?
 
Hey chica,
 
I’m really sorry to hear about you’re friend and his dad. Losing someone special is always hard and it’s as painful to watch your friend go through it all. However, don’t over think what you can do to comfort him because you’re care and concern is the start of everything that he’ll need.
 
Be a Cheerleader
 
Although you’ve never been in your friend’s situation, I would definitely encourage you to try to see it in his view. Would you want everyone to be constantly reminding you of what is going on by acting awkward around him? Or would you rather have your friends there to cheer you up and just be there for you? This isn’t to suggest that you make your friend completely ignore what’s going on, but to make sure that he’s not totally brought down by this.
 
Just Listen
 
In order to truly comfort your friend, you can also be a bit upfront about it. Tell him that you are aware of what’s going. Acknowledge it. And then, ask him what you can do or what he wants you to do in terms of supporting him. Then, just listen. You don’t need to bring it up again and again if you don’t know what to say because that just might make him feel awkward too. Whether or not he talks, simply be there to show that you’ll be with him entirely.
 
As your friend goes through these difficult times, pay more attention to his every word and action and he’ll know that he’s not alone.
 
Good Luck,
Jean
 

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POSTED ON 4/6/2010 6:41:00 PM

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MODD!!!
I think there is something wrong with me. I always bottle my emotions up and I never feel like I can tell anybody how I'm truly feeling. I'm always worried about hurting peoples feelings so I never do the things I wanna do. I end up exploding into tears when I bottle my emotions up for too long and when people ask me if I wanna talk about it I never tell them what's really bothering me. I'm also incredibly shy (which sucks because I'm in high school now and I shouldn't be shy). Plus I always feel like I'm holding up an image around everyone. I never feel like I'm acting like myself. I just don't know what to do.




Hey girl, you just gotta be yourself. Don't worry so much. Live each day as a new experience, enjoy it. Your friends will love you for who you are.  
Lauren R.

by Gryffindorgirleb on 4/10/2010 1:10:24 PM

 
 

aww i'm so sorry for u and ur friend! and all of his family u should try being really super nice and maybe give him some space when he needs it!

by purple9111 on 4/9/2010 6:30:51 PM

 
 

that's so sad!!!

by checkersoflife on 4/9/2010 6:12:37 PM

 
 

Dear Mod,
I got home last night to find my dad watching something on youtube... I didnt think anything of it. I just looked at the history from last night on his comp. and turns out, he was watching really bad videos on there.
I really need help. Please reply as quick as possible!!! SHould i tell my mom? Who??
Thankz!!

 

Hey girl, that is a pretty awkward situation. I guess if you are really worked up about it you could confront your dad.

Kayla C.

by cheyz09 on 4/9/2010 8:15:17 AM

 
 

I just started a new school and met these new friends and this girl's dad was dying. Ppl were super mean and insensitive, so I was the only friend she had for a long while, so I feel for you. Being super nice and just hanging around the person makes them feel like you're supporting them, even if you never talk to them about it.

by cvfan on 4/8/2010 8:14:27 PM

 
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