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ADVICE | TOUGH STUFF

My friend's dad is dying of cancer

 
My good friend’s dad has terminal cancer. I’ve never had the feeling of knowing someone is going to die soon, so I don't know what to say to him. I don’t know how to act around him in normal circumstances or at times when I want to comfort him.
 
How can I still act normal around him for most of the time, and what can I say to comfort him in this difficult time?
 
Hey chica,
 
I’m really sorry to hear about you’re friend and his dad. Losing someone special is always hard and it’s as painful to watch your friend go through it all. However, don’t over think what you can do to comfort him because you’re care and concern is the start of everything that he’ll need.
 
Be a Cheerleader
 
Although you’ve never been in your friend’s situation, I would definitely encourage you to try to see it in his view. Would you want everyone to be constantly reminding you of what is going on by acting awkward around him? Or would you rather have your friends there to cheer you up and just be there for you? This isn’t to suggest that you make your friend completely ignore what’s going on, but to make sure that he’s not totally brought down by this.
 
Just Listen
 
In order to truly comfort your friend, you can also be a bit upfront about it. Tell him that you are aware of what’s going. Acknowledge it. And then, ask him what you can do or what he wants you to do in terms of supporting him. Then, just listen. You don’t need to bring it up again and again if you don’t know what to say because that just might make him feel awkward too. Whether or not he talks, simply be there to show that you’ll be with him entirely.
 
As your friend goes through these difficult times, pay more attention to his every word and action and he’ll know that he’s not alone.
 
Good Luck,
Jean
 

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POSTED ON 4/6/2010 6:41:00 PM

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***MOD MOD MOD MOD**** I'm sick today, i have a bad cold and my head feel like its being smashed by a million bricks and its spring break! I can't hang out w/ friends today or i'll make them sick, and I'm so bored. Any ideas of what to do today?

 

Hey girl, what a bummer! If its nice where you are I would go outside and spread out a blanket and just take it easy. That way you can at least enjoy the weather without over doing it so you can get better sooner. Of course you can always use this as chance to watch all your favorite TV shows and movies, just be sure to get lots of rest.

 

- Gabrielle

gabrielle m.

by summernight_dreams on 4/7/2010 12:45:06 PM

 
 

MOD*MOD*MOD so, i don't think i have any true friends. i thought i did, but i can't trust them. they don't invite me to anything, then post pictures on facebook and talk about how much fun it was in front of me! they don't save me seats at lunch so i have to sit with ppl i'm not good friends with. this is a BIG group of ppl so it'll hurt if they all dump me. and i will also talk to a few ppl in the group about how the other ppl are leaving me out and they will say that they are my true friends. but then they go and do the same thing. now that they are all ignoring me, i think i annoy them. b/c of that, i get paranoid and think i annoy everyone who i talk to. and a lot of the ppl i'm not friends with are ppl i have tried being friends with but it never worked out. i probably have one close friend now because my other friends(the ones that i can't trust) told a really big secret to people and the school counselor so she is not even friends with them anymore. i don't know what do. i start highschool next year and i probably won't see them again(4 schools go into northwood) and i'll make new friends. but i want to end this year a good year. i don't want to be alone on the last field trip(to the beach) with the ppl i've been with my whole life. i want to take pictures with a bunch of friends but that won't happen if i don't have any friends. i don't even want to go to the 8th grade social anymore either. and it'll suck if i don't b/c i already have the dress. i just want to have my friends back. i don't know if i should dump them or try to regain a friendship with them. any advice? i know its complicated but i just want to know what you think. thank you!!!! p.s. sorry it's a lot.

 

Hey girl, I'm really sorry to hear all of that. Feeling left out is something I think everyone goes through at some point, and its definitely no fun. Instead of trying hard with the people who are leaving you out, try backing off for a little bit and focusing on other things. Don't be paranoid that you're being annoying. Just because they're mean doesn't mean you're annoying! Hopefully you'll have a good time at your social events and a good summer. Highschool will be a whole new chapter in your life, and you're going to meet so many great new people. Its hard to believe now, but one day you'll barely remember all those people who were rude to you in middle school. Good luck girl!

 

- Gabrielle

gabrielle m.

by ♫RockOn64♫ on 4/7/2010 11:18:47 AM

 
 

My cousin has congustive heart failure. He is at Mayo. He is only a junior in high school. I don't know what to do. He has never been "normal" he's had lung liver and heart problems all his life and has not gotten over 5 ft. He's not mentally disabled though. He's awesome. I don't know what we would do without him. I bet he's soooo scared but he only has his parents with him because the hostipital he's at is 10 hours away from his home, a farm. I hope I can visit him or his siblings (back at home) this week, but my sister Is in the musical at school and is busy all week as her shows are from Thursday to Sunday and I have my first JV soccer game as an eighth grader on saturday ( which I would be glad to miss). Wow. That felt good to get that off my chest.

by Balloonluvr on 4/7/2010 10:53:37 AM

 
 

aww Frown that sad but u should talk to him or it will just get weirder

by coly33 on 4/7/2010 10:51:17 AM

 
 

that is so sad! im so sorry this is happening. if you ever need someone to talk to im here for ya Smile

hey girls! I give advice on just about anything! I'm really experienced in being an advice giver and can help you get out of even the toughest sitch! so post a comment on my profile and I'll be happy to help ya

by summerlover0116 on 4/7/2010 10:41:52 AM

 
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