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My friend's totally two-faced!

 
I have a friend that sometimes calls me a loser. When we’re with friends, it’s like she hates me. But then when we’re alone, she calls me her BFF. But what if I don’t want to be her BFF? In my opinion, BFF’s don’t call each other losers. I want to change friends, but I know that she’ll get defensive and mad at me if I do.

Hey girl! I’m sorry about your “friend.” You’re right when you say friends don’t call each other losers, and I’m glad you want to do something about it.

Tell her what you think
 
The next time the two of you are one-on-one, ask her why she calls you her BFF when you are alone but a loser in front of other people. If she doesn’t have an answer, let her know how it hurts your feelings and that you won’t tolerate it anymore. Be strong and serious when you have this conversation with her.

Branch out with other besties
 
While you can still be friends with this girl, find some new people to hang out with. That way, if you decide you don’t want to spend any more time trying to figure out if you are a loser (which you aren’t!) or her BFF, you can go hang out with people who actually respect you.

Give her an explanation
 
If she gets defensive and mad when you start hanging out with new people, tell her why you are hanging out with them. Let her know you appreciate their respect and aren’t called a loser when you are with them. If she’s a good friend (and worth being given the title), she should apologize and stop the mean namecalling.

Remember, girls who call other people names usually are insecure. Maybe your “friend” is self-conscious or wants to be liked by certain people. You don’t need a friend like that. You need friends who call you their BFF all the time.

Good luck,
Liz
 
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POSTED ON 4/21/2010 7:00:00 AM

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