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101 Comments | Add Yours

My BFF and I are drifting apart

 

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I've been best friends with this one girl for 8 years. Last year, I moved to a new school and now we barely talk. Whenever we are on the phone or online, there's nothing to talk about. I really miss my best friend, but how can I keep this friendship going without it getting too awkward? I don't want to lose her.

Hey girl, sometimes even the best friendships drift apart and it’s neither girls’ fault. You start going to different schools; you see less of each other. It happens gradually and sometimes you don’t even realize it until it may seem like it’s too late. Here’s the thing though: it never is.

While you may not be besties with this girl anymore, your friendship is far from dead. You’ll find by reconnecting and making an effort to see each other, you can def bring this distant friendship back from its “grave.”

It Comes Naturally
 
First of all, don’t feel bad about what happened. Neither of you did anything wrong; your schools just came between you. A lot of times close friends fall into new cliques, move or go to different places, etc. What’s important to know, however, is that there are definitely new people around you. You don’t have to be limited to one best friend and you’ll find if you have an open mind, your new crew at your school can become some of your closest friends, too.

No Lost Connection
 
As for your old bestie, getting the convos flowing again is as easy as finding the strength to make the first move. The next time she’s online, try IMing her. You’ll find since it’s been a while since you chatted there will be TONS to catch up on. Ask about her classes, sports, activities, summer plans -- anything. Once you break the ice, it will be like you never were apart in the first place.

As for the awkwardness? Realize it’s not there. Sometimes people can make things way more awk than they have to be by acting and being uncomfortable. Don’t be that person. Know you may not have talked recently, but you’ve got eight years of friendship under your belt (and eight years of memories and inside jokes for those silences).

Let’s Get Together
 
Once you have your convo and reconnect, continue to talk regularly with your friend. Make a point to bring her back into your life. Invite her to sleepover one weekend. Try inviting her to the next party you have or to meet your new friends. You’ll find the more you talk and see each other (when you can, of course), the more you’ll build a bridge over that gap of separation. Sure, you may not be the besties you used to be, but in the end, what matters is that you still and will always be friends.

Good luck, girl!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
 
FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.    

POSTED ON 4/28/2010 12:02:00 PM

POSTED IN growing apart

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MODMODMODMODMODMOD!!!!!!!!
I have this friend who is friends with my other group of friends. She says I'm her BFF. BUT i don't believe her because the other group of friends treat me really mean and whenever I try to hang out with them they ignore and don't even care I'm there and I told my friend this, but she just stands there and still hangs out with them. Today @ lunch my friend usually sits with me, but she didn't. I was going to sit with her, but the other group of friends were there. I went up to her and I said I told you that you guys didn't care if I didn't sit with you. I'm really mad and sad and crying all the time. Not just cause of this, but of other things and I told my friend she doesnt know what i'm goin through. Now she's all mad at me like I did something wrong!! What do I do! I still want 2 b friends with her!!




Hey girl! To me it sounds like your friend is also in a bit of a sticky situation. Try and get her alone with out all of her other friends and really talk to her about it. If you still really want to be friends with her try and hang out with the other group some more. And make sure to make an effort to talk to them and be nice. They may just be threatened because you are closer with her than they are. Give it a try and see how it works out.
Ana D.

report

by liljade26 on 9/22/2011 10:25:52 AM

 
 

MOD... so i have these 2 friends 9lets call them Maddie and Emma) and they had been really close but 2years ago Emma moved away then ended up moving back after a couple months. and ever since she has been back her and maddie haven't been as close. They are still friends but they never hang out and maddie has found other friends too. Emma talks to me about how she feels left out and how she doesn't know what to do. how can i help her?? thanks!!!!!

 

 

Hey chica! I would try to bring them together as much as you can. Invite the two of them over for a sleepover, and go out on weekends when you can. Maybe, if they spend more time together, they'll realize why they were such good friends in the first place! And, you can always bring up funny memories to make everyone remember as well Smile

xxx

Becca G.

report

by laxgirl3300 on 11/14/2010 8:20:17 PM

 
 

Trist me i knoe how it feels. Me and my bff we like always talking in the begining of the school year,towards the end of the year we made friends with 3 other girls. As moths past i felt like if we were drifting apart i also tried confronting her but she said i was talking behind her back. I had only told 2 people that i felt that we were drifting apart. IDk what that means but i was confused i tried to explain to her but i guess she just didnt care. It still bothers me now that she just left me after we shared all thoose secrets. Today she ignores me. I am recently moving to a new school and hope theres a new start for me.

report

by weebethlovesu on 8/15/2010 11:55:59 PM

 
 

i HAD A SITUATION JUST LIKE THAT MY BFF AND I HAVE ALWAYS TALKED BUT SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL WE DONT TALK OR SEE EACH OTHER. SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT HOW I GOT OVER IT WAS SURROUNDING MY SELF WITH NEW FRIENDS.

report

by ElvisTwente on 7/29/2010 9:08:31 PM

 
 

MOD
i really need some about a friend were good friends but she plays volleyballl and im not really that great of friends with her volleyball friends. Sometimes exspically during volleyball season i feal like she will only hang out with her volleyball friends and only if shes not busy with them she will hang out with me. And i kind of feel like im becoming the fall back friend. And i cant exsacly join volleyball because its really competitive at my school and im not that good. And i really wana hang out with her and make friends with her other friends with out it being aquard. Do you have any tips?




Hey girl, I think you should tell your friend this. Have a heart-to-heart and say 'hey, I know how much you love volleyball, but I kind of feel like we're drifting apart. Maybe I could come to one of your games and you could introduce me to the team?' — just something little like that can make a big difference.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

report

by Newyork8998 on 7/26/2010 11:19:06 PM

 
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