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101 Comments | Add Yours

My BFF and I are drifting apart

 

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I've been best friends with this one girl for 8 years. Last year, I moved to a new school and now we barely talk. Whenever we are on the phone or online, there's nothing to talk about. I really miss my best friend, but how can I keep this friendship going without it getting too awkward? I don't want to lose her.

Hey girl, sometimes even the best friendships drift apart and it’s neither girls’ fault. You start going to different schools; you see less of each other. It happens gradually and sometimes you don’t even realize it until it may seem like it’s too late. Here’s the thing though: it never is.

While you may not be besties with this girl anymore, your friendship is far from dead. You’ll find by reconnecting and making an effort to see each other, you can def bring this distant friendship back from its “grave.”

It Comes Naturally
 
First of all, don’t feel bad about what happened. Neither of you did anything wrong; your schools just came between you. A lot of times close friends fall into new cliques, move or go to different places, etc. What’s important to know, however, is that there are definitely new people around you. You don’t have to be limited to one best friend and you’ll find if you have an open mind, your new crew at your school can become some of your closest friends, too.

No Lost Connection
 
As for your old bestie, getting the convos flowing again is as easy as finding the strength to make the first move. The next time she’s online, try IMing her. You’ll find since it’s been a while since you chatted there will be TONS to catch up on. Ask about her classes, sports, activities, summer plans -- anything. Once you break the ice, it will be like you never were apart in the first place.

As for the awkwardness? Realize it’s not there. Sometimes people can make things way more awk than they have to be by acting and being uncomfortable. Don’t be that person. Know you may not have talked recently, but you’ve got eight years of friendship under your belt (and eight years of memories and inside jokes for those silences).

Let’s Get Together
 
Once you have your convo and reconnect, continue to talk regularly with your friend. Make a point to bring her back into your life. Invite her to sleepover one weekend. Try inviting her to the next party you have or to meet your new friends. You’ll find the more you talk and see each other (when you can, of course), the more you’ll build a bridge over that gap of separation. Sure, you may not be the besties you used to be, but in the end, what matters is that you still and will always be friends.

Good luck, girl!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
 
FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.    

POSTED ON 4/28/2010 12:02:00 PM

POSTED IN growing apart

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101 Comments | Add Yours
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MODMODMOD! i have this 'friend' who is always lying and starting fights i've tried to patch things up so many time that it just isnt worth it anymore. i want to "break-up" with her.i kind of want to do it in an email because i would NEVER be able to do something like that face to face. We are in the middle of a fight right now.....what should i tell her in the email that won't come on harsh or sound like im a suck up?

 

Hey girl! Don't do it in an email. If you can, do it in person. If that's too hard, than do it on the phone. But if she's causing more stress than fun, it might def be time to call it quits.

xoxo


Liz

Liz L.

report

by metrostationluvr on 7/19/2010 12:09:27 AM

 
 

MOD!!!
Ok so this is kinda a strange situation I guess but I'm spending the night at my best friends house and I'm going to be there for a while. Well we're both not very talkative and theres alot of silence. I want to end the silence and become closer to her. What all can we talk about and how do I bring things up? I'm not very good at starting conversations. Hopefully this makes sense and you can help asap. Thanks SO much!!!




Hey girl, talk about anything! What you like to do, music, sports, movies, school, boys, etc. There are endless things to talk about. Just pick a topic and dive in. Don't worry! =] 
Lauren R.

report

by Misbubbles on 6/28/2010 8:09:12 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I am losing my best friend or at least that's what it feels like any way! My best friend and I have been best friends since second grade ( were in 5th grade now) and we are in differnet classes now and have been for two years! She became friends with a really nice girl who's also my friend but I feel like the other girl is her best friend and I am only her second best friend! She is still my best friend but I am not sure I am hers! Should I ask her about it or leave it be? Also we have best friend rings which are these rainbow rings that we both have on our middle fingers on our right hands we both still wear them but I feel that they lost their power on one end (my best friend's end in this case). We haven't been hanging out for awhile and I've been hanging out with my second and third best friends a lot more! I have also been hanging out with my crush too because were best buds too! Also sometimes when I rest my arm on her shoulder (I do that to everyone because I am SUPER tall) she tells me to go away! Do i tell her it's rude and do I ask her if I am still her best friend? PLEASE ANSWER ASAP!! Thanks!!

 

 

Hey girl, it looks like you need to get your feelings out, whether it's face-to-face or in a letter. Sometimes a letter works better (haha that rhymes!) because it lets you say everything you need to say the way you want it to be said. When I express how I feel to someone, sometimes my emotions get in the way, which in this situation it seems like it could happen. Give the letter to her, and then talk to her about it. Good luck!

emilie b.

report

by i_heart_taco on 6/12/2010 2:56:35 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My best friend moved away 6 years ago... We kept in touch for a few years but she kept moving around so we kinda lost the communication. I've gone through a bunch of bad friends without her, and I miss her sooooo much! Is there any way I can find her???




Try to find her on facebook or see if you have her address so you can write her. Dont give up. Youll find her Smile xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

report

by LottyDa on 6/2/2010 11:04:17 PM

 
 

i need help...
i know this girl and she is obsessed with me! and i really dont like her but i dont want to be mean! what should i do?????

report

by carell on 5/29/2010 9:08:06 PM

 
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