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101 Comments | Add Yours

My BFF and I are drifting apart

 

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I've been best friends with this one girl for 8 years. Last year, I moved to a new school and now we barely talk. Whenever we are on the phone or online, there's nothing to talk about. I really miss my best friend, but how can I keep this friendship going without it getting too awkward? I don't want to lose her.

Hey girl, sometimes even the best friendships drift apart and it’s neither girls’ fault. You start going to different schools; you see less of each other. It happens gradually and sometimes you don’t even realize it until it may seem like it’s too late. Here’s the thing though: it never is.

While you may not be besties with this girl anymore, your friendship is far from dead. You’ll find by reconnecting and making an effort to see each other, you can def bring this distant friendship back from its “grave.”

It Comes Naturally
 
First of all, don’t feel bad about what happened. Neither of you did anything wrong; your schools just came between you. A lot of times close friends fall into new cliques, move or go to different places, etc. What’s important to know, however, is that there are definitely new people around you. You don’t have to be limited to one best friend and you’ll find if you have an open mind, your new crew at your school can become some of your closest friends, too.

No Lost Connection
 
As for your old bestie, getting the convos flowing again is as easy as finding the strength to make the first move. The next time she’s online, try IMing her. You’ll find since it’s been a while since you chatted there will be TONS to catch up on. Ask about her classes, sports, activities, summer plans -- anything. Once you break the ice, it will be like you never were apart in the first place.

As for the awkwardness? Realize it’s not there. Sometimes people can make things way more awk than they have to be by acting and being uncomfortable. Don’t be that person. Know you may not have talked recently, but you’ve got eight years of friendship under your belt (and eight years of memories and inside jokes for those silences).

Let’s Get Together
 
Once you have your convo and reconnect, continue to talk regularly with your friend. Make a point to bring her back into your life. Invite her to sleepover one weekend. Try inviting her to the next party you have or to meet your new friends. You’ll find the more you talk and see each other (when you can, of course), the more you’ll build a bridge over that gap of separation. Sure, you may not be the besties you used to be, but in the end, what matters is that you still and will always be friends.

Good luck, girl!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.
 
FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.    

POSTED ON 4/28/2010 12:02:00 PM

POSTED IN growing apart

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*MOD*
Hi! So I have a problem with the new girl in school, Jessica. Even since she came, she has established that everybody in my group of friends are all her best friends, but she's really mean to some of my friends and tries to get into our business. We have talked it out and all of my friends agreed that we don't like Jessica. Like once, she started to scream and chase my best friend around. I tried to stop her and she took it the wrong way. Now, she's been talking about me behind my back to my friends, and accusing me of stuff I didn't do! My friends all told me what she says and we all don't like it. We don't know what to do! I know she's new and all, and is trying to make friends. I don't want to be mean to her....
Please answer!
thanks




Hey girl, just talk to her about how you feel. Just be sure to keep your cool and I'm sure she'll understand. Just make sure you tell her you're not trying to be mean to her. You'll work it out, no worries!
Lauren R.

report

by purple kat on 5/8/2010 5:00:18 PM

 
 

MOD
I feel like such a jerk. I was talking to my friend on AIM last night and there was a brunch thing at my school yesterday that I didn't really go to, and I asked her how it was, and she said boring, and I was like oh yea, the food looked pretty gross especially those brownies. and she replied back, the food was really good, and I brought the brownies! I Felt so stupid!!!!!!!!!! I feel awful now, what should I do!??




Hey girl! Well, you should totally apologize ... and if you did try one, say that they tasted good. Just be more careful next time.  
Kelli S.

report

by hollistar on 5/8/2010 12:11:51 PM

 
 

i know how u feel.. my best friend moved to north carolina, and i live in hawaii! she is 7hours apart from me.. so every time we talk, she has to go to bed, or i have to go eat.. i really miss the old days ☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○

report

by elmorockz1252 on 5/8/2010 2:01:18 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!
I am graduating and wont be near my little sister anymore... how do I prevent drifting from her? Bazinga!




I love the Big Bang Theory reference! I am in college now but my sister and I keep in touch. You can do it through texting, facebook messaging, phone calls every so often, and skyping or Ichat so you can see each other. You could even writer letters if you wanted to.  
Kayla C.

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by blondiedove on 5/7/2010 7:07:19 PM

 
 

HEY IF YOU NEED ADVICE COME CHECK OUT MY PROFILE
please. I'd love to help. Also I'm a good listener and here if you just want to talk.

report

by GoGreenGoPeace on 5/7/2010 6:37:26 PM

 
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