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My best friend is self-centered


Recently, I’ve noticed my best friend is kind of self-centered. Most of the time, we talk about her or whatever she wants to talk about. Or if I’m talking, she relates it to herself in some way. I care about her, but I feel like I’m not important. How do I get this message across?

Dear Friend Troubles,

Ideally, conversations should be roughly half talking/half listening. Yet, good listeners are hard to come by. It’s amazing that few people realize a simple “tell me more” or “How did it go?” is always appreciated.


Next time you’re talking about your science project and she switches to her history paper, say, in the warmest way, “Wait, I want to hear about that, but I still want to tell you about…” Afterward, thank her for hearing you out or giving advice. This approach is better than shrieking, “You never let me talk!”
 

Your circle of friends will probably always include some girls who are better listeners than others, and that’s fine. But conversation should never be a one-way street.

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
 
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.

BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/21/2010 2:55:00 PM

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I have a friend who makes it all about her. One day I told her something and she said"oh but my problem is way worse." It really made me feel different about her. She does this all the time. Now she does that and ditches me for boys. It's so SAD.

by summer23 on 5/18/2011 10:27:09 PM

 
 

MOD!
I have a friend who says that she likes me but she is really mean! She punches me all the time. And then when I ask her why she did it she just says, "Cause I could...." She also likes this guy that is one of my friends, and the other day he was messing around on the bleachers and she pulled on his leg and made him fall! I dont even know what to do about her anymore! She can be so mean and annoying. And when I try and talk about it she just says, "When did I do that?" and she tries to avoid it. What should I do?

 

Hey girlie, that's a tough situation to be in! If she's not listening to you when you talk to her about it, tell her that if she doesn't stop this behavior, you're not going to be able to be her friend anymore. She has no right to treat people like that!

Clare W.

by Aregorn337 on 2/22/2011 3:10:23 PM

 
 

help!!my friend is really annoying and lies to me but says the lies were jokes. i told her to stop being mean to other people but she wont. and when i tell her to plz be nicer to me cause i dont want to befriends if shes mean she starts rambling on about "what did i do? then i wont have any friends !!" i dont want to be friends any more but she always gets mad at me and STILL stickes to me like glue. i REALLY dont want to be herfriend anymore but she always makes me laugh right before i try to tell her. then i would look so mean if i told her i dont want tobe friendright after she makes me laugh!!!! im so confused what should i do?? and i really like her fam!!!!

by caez on 8/26/2010 7:55:52 PM

 
 

When you are talking and she relates the story to her change the topic back to you =]

by dancer8637 on 8/12/2010 4:05:32 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!! My best friend (and my only friend) isn't really acting like my friend. She called me once, to tell me what time I could go to her house and that was it. while I was at her house, she was telling me how her mom wants her to call me a lot more often, and she said that she doesn't want to. I think she thinks that I'm never going to leave her because I haven't changed on her or left her like all of her past friends, but it is really starting to bug me that she is taking that for granted because now she thinks she can treat me however she wants and I'll stil be her friend because I have no other friends. I really like her and I don't want to lose her, but I feel lie she's not really my friend. what can I do? and is there any way I can like test her to see if she really wants to be my friend? thanks a lot!! Smile

 

I'm so sorry to hear about the friend troubles.  I would talk to her about the way she has been treating you.  Tell her that you care about her, but that when she says stuff like that it really hurts you.  If she is a true friend, she'll be willing to change her ways.  But you deserve to be with people who do want to call you and hang out with you.  Try to reach out to new people, and think about joining an after-school activity to meet new people.  This is a new year, and a great opportunity to make new friends.  Best of luck, xoxo

Marie H.

by colorCute4 on 8/12/2010 3:46:52 PM

 
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