My family deals with everything by yelling! I try to stay out of it, but my dad yells about every little thing we do wrong. I get so sick of hearing it almost every day. I wish I could get away from it, but it happens all the time. Usually, after a fight, we end up not speaking. How can I deal with this?
Hey hon, dealing with family issues can be really tough, especially when there is yelling involved. No one likes to be yelled at, but once one person does it, it’s hard not to join in. You may not be able to change your family overnight, but you can help them better communicators.
Lead by example
You already know yelling is not an effective way to get your point across, but it seems as though your family may have missed the memo. Help them get back into a peaceful groove by refusing to add fuel to the drama. The next time your dad or anyone else starts to throw a fit, you can say: “I understand you’re upset, but I’m not going to yell back at you and I would appreciate it if you didn’t yell at me. Let’s talk about this later when we’ve both calmed down a bit.”
Talk it out
Waiting until everyone starts to yell again to address the issue also isn’t a good idea. It’s hard to talk things out when everyone is fired up. Schedule a family meeting to discuss the problem. Let your family know how the yelling stresses you out and makes you feel uncomfortable in your own home. Begin with, “I love you all very much and that’s why I want to work this out. If we work together, I know we can find a better way to express ourselves.”
Fixing the problem is going to require a family effort. Have everyone discover ways to help them calm down, such as walking away for a moment, counting to 10, engaging in some sort of physical exercise or writing in a journal. If everyone has a positive outlet for his or her anger, you all will be able to resolve issues successfully. Best of luck, chica!
Lots of love,
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POSTED ON 6/19/2010 12:00:00 AM
POSTED IN 411 on family feuds