All my friends are girls, but I really want guy friends, too. I'm starting to get a little sick of how my girl friends are so caught up in how they look. Sometimes I feel more comfortable with boys. I talk to them a lot, but in my school, no one has BGFs.
You are either dating a guy, or you're not. How can I approach boys so they will be my friends, and how do I make it clear to other people that we are NOT dating?
Hey girl, I totally understand how you feel! All through high school I loved having a group of girls to hang with, but it would have been great to also have some guy friends! Once I got older, I found it a little easier to talk to guys. I’m sure with these tips, talking to guys will be a little easier for you, too!
Focus on having a friend rather than a BF
It’s a good start that you talk to boys a lot! One of the most important things about having a guy friend is thinking of him like a regular person rather than someone who could become your future BF.
My mom says it’s important to be friends first with a guy rather than focusing on getting a BF, which I totally agree with! If you think of boys as a different species, you may be more self-conscious and not act like yourself, so take the pressure off by treating them as you would girl acquaintances. Once you get talkin’, you could ask a guy to hang out — but it would be better to chill with a group of guys and gals to avoid the one-on-one date feeling.
Join a co-ed group or team
Becoming part of a club at school or a sports team is a great way to meet guys who have the same interests as you. Pick something you are already interested in, rather than choosing something you think guys might like, and you’re sure to have a ton of fun while making new friends.
Working on projects, activities or sports drills will bring you closer, and you may find common bonds with guys you never knew you had.
I met some of my guy friends through my girl friends that were friends with boys. My friend group was all girls, but when even just one of my close girl friends had a guy friend, it became much easier to become friends with the guy or guys also.
I know you said nobody at your school has BGFs, but if you can think of a girl friend that has guy friends, ask to be part of the next Wii match or basketball competition with your bestie and the guys. Or, maybe you have a boy cousin or relative who can introduce you to some other boys your age.
You’re not dating? Just be honest
If you’re not dating, make sure that you don’t send any signals to your potential guy friends that you like them in that way. Act like you would around anyone else — don’t obsess over what to wear or be flirty with these guys.
Rather than hang out with one guy one-on-one all the time, which may look like a BF/GF sitch, hang out in a group of both girls and guys. And, if someone else asks you if you’re dating one of the guys — simply say no and tell them that you’re just friends.
Hopefully you’ll be hangin’ with the guys soon!
--Vanessa : )
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POSTED ON 6/16/2010 12:00:00 AM
POSTED IN guy friend Q & A