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ADVICE | ALL ABOUT YOU | GIRL TALK

I have a hard time trusting friends!

 
I have a hard time trusting my friends. From 2nd to 7th grade, I got bullied a lot. I have great friends now, but it's new to me. I'm going into high school soon, and I feel like I haven't let go of my past issues. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve my friends, or like I just don't belong. I feel so lucky to have great friends, but my past is keeping me from enjoying it. How can I feel more comfortable with my friends?

Hey girly,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way, especially as you enter high school when you’ve got so many things to deal with already. However, everything is gonna be A-ok because uneasiness with friends is something common that can be fixed!
 
Building trust

One thing you should definitely do is to let it all out. To whom you may ask? To your friends of course! Friends are there for you to lean on and depend on. Even though you might feel uneasy at first, when you share your thoughts and feelings with your friend, you’ll find some comfort in it. On top of that, as you depend on your friends for comfort and support, you’re building trust in your friendship.
 
Think before you freak

Next, try thinking through this whole sitch. Why do you think you don’t deserve your friends? Is there even a legitimate answer to that question? Why do you think you’re current friends are your friends? It’s probably because they like you for who you are, which means that you can and should feel comfortable being around them regardless of what happened in the past. Keep asking yourself these questions because it’s going to be pretty obvious that you don’t need to feel the way you do!
 
Letting go of the past

Finally, know that what happened in the past is in the past. It’s history and all you’ve got to do is keeping moving forward. You might not be able to change what happened, but you definitely can change what’s ahead of you…especially with your new friends by your side!

Jean  
 
ARE YOU THE ONE CAUSING ALL THE DRAMA? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

POSTED ON 7/5/2010 7:00:00 AM

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MOD MOD MOD Me and my BFFs need to go halloween costume shopping and halloween is getting close fast-we have to go togeher cuz were being the same thing! My mom cant take us and i feel like we need to go really soon (im pretty sure they feel this way too but they keep putting it off). But I dont wanna sound bad pressuring them to ask and get the day planned when I'm not the one whos taking them. What should I do so I dont sound pushy but yet give them the idea that we need to go?

 

Hey girl!  The good news is, there's still 20 days till Halloween, so you do have some time to get shopping!  I would just bring it up next time you are at lunch or hanging out.  You don't have to sound pushy at all - you could say something like, "Hey guys, I think we should try to go shopping before all the good costumes are gone.  Is there a time that works for everyone?"  Hopefully that will get the convo going so you don't have to worry.  xoxo

Marie H.

by myclique on 10/11/2010 5:26:27 PM

 
 

MOd! MOd!MOD!!!!!!!!!! MOD! MOD! MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help! i sit at a table with 7 girls at lunch and we always play together!4 of them ALWAYS hang out and three of us (including me) they barely pay attention too,but we still talk and all! but all last year and so far this year they talk about themselves and thier sleep overs and they dont really care. There best friends and i want to be there friends too! Also im pretty shy and i dont talk that much but i do to them but i wont connfront them! Also i want to be in there group, and be at there house every month and be a house hold name! please help!

 

 

Hey chica! I just answered this on your first post Smile

xxx

Becca G.

by MYstar123 on 9/19/2010 8:14:03 PM

 
 

MOd! MOd!MOD!!!!!!!!!! MOD! MOD! MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help! i sit at a table with 7 girls at lunch and we always play together!4 of them ALWAYS hang out and three of us (including me) they barely pay attention too,but we still talk and all! but all last year and so far this year they talk about themselves and thier sleep overs and they dont really care. There best friends and i want to be there friends too! Also im pretty shy and i dont talk that much but i do to them but i wont connfront them! Also i want to be in there group, and be at there house every month and be a house hold name! please help!

 

 

Hey chica! I just answered this on your first post.

xxx

Becca G.

by MYstar123 on 9/19/2010 8:13:10 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
About a week ago I found some really nasty grafitti about me. There were three of them, all with cusses. I try my best to treat everyone well and respect them. Up until now I thought that I was pretty well liked by everyone, I guess I was wrong. My friends and I scratched it out but now I'm paranoid that it's going to happen again. What can I do!?

 

Hey girlie, just relax. It probably won't happen again, but if it does you and your friends can cover it up again. I'm sorry that someone would choose to treat you that way, you definitely don't deserve that!

Lauren T.

by lova1<3 on 8/6/2010 6:59:27 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
my little sister is really fun to play with stuff and i like to spend time with her. the only problem is she tickles me, a lot. but she tickles me in the neck, and it hurts more then it tickles. at first i didnt really mind but now when ever i see her the first thing she does is goes toward my neck and tries to tickle me. i try to tell her to stop but she's only 4 and dosent listen well. how do i make her stop? please help!

 

You should keep telling her not to do it, but make sure that you have a firm, authoritative tone of voice. If you're kind of giggling while telling her then she won't see you as being serious about it. You could also let her know that she is really hurting you! Good luck.

Vanessa J.

by MissElectricSocks on 8/5/2010 2:38:15 PM

 
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