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I have a hard time trusting friends!

 
I have a hard time trusting my friends. From 2nd to 7th grade, I got bullied a lot. I have great friends now, but it's new to me. I'm going into high school soon, and I feel like I haven't let go of my past issues. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve my friends, or like I just don't belong. I feel so lucky to have great friends, but my past is keeping me from enjoying it. How can I feel more comfortable with my friends?

Hey girly,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling that way, especially as you enter high school when you’ve got so many things to deal with already. However, everything is gonna be A-ok because uneasiness with friends is something common that can be fixed!
 
Building trust

One thing you should definitely do is to let it all out. To whom you may ask? To your friends of course! Friends are there for you to lean on and depend on. Even though you might feel uneasy at first, when you share your thoughts and feelings with your friend, you’ll find some comfort in it. On top of that, as you depend on your friends for comfort and support, you’re building trust in your friendship.
 
Think before you freak

Next, try thinking through this whole sitch. Why do you think you don’t deserve your friends? Is there even a legitimate answer to that question? Why do you think you’re current friends are your friends? It’s probably because they like you for who you are, which means that you can and should feel comfortable being around them regardless of what happened in the past. Keep asking yourself these questions because it’s going to be pretty obvious that you don’t need to feel the way you do!
 
Letting go of the past

Finally, know that what happened in the past is in the past. It’s history and all you’ve got to do is keeping moving forward. You might not be able to change what happened, but you definitely can change what’s ahead of you…especially with your new friends by your side!

Jean  
 
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POSTED ON 7/5/2010 7:00:00 AM

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