My mom recently got a new boyfriend, and he's always over with his three little kids. I hate when they're here, mainly because of the way my mom acts with them, but also because they're just plain annoying. She seems to like them more than me and my siblings. She knows that I don't like them because I often complain to her and have told her how I feel, but she doesn't seem to care at all. My brothers and sister feel the same way and we've all talked to her. What should I do?
I'm sorry your mom's boyfriend's kids are bummin' you out. It's hard to deal with other kids coming into your parent's life, especially when you don't exactly get along with them.
Put yourself in her shoes
Before you do anything else, think about how your mom feels in this situation. If your mom's happy with her new boyfriend, and his kids are part of the deal, then maybe it would be best for you and your sibs to try to make peace with them. Whereas you and your siblings will always know that your mother loves you, your mom’s boyfriend’s kids do not have that kind of assurance from her.
Talk it out
It's great that you and your sibs have mentioned your feelings to your mom. Even though you've already let her know, ask her if there's a time when she can sit down with you and your brothers and sisters and have a convo about what's up. You'll be able to get your feelings out, and don’t forget to give your mom a chance to speak about her feelings and what’s she’s thinking too.
Are he and his kids coming over again? Try spending a little bit of time with them, then excusing yourself for some alone time or to hang out with a friend. Spending small chunks of time with the kids might be easier – and make them seem less annoying -- then hanging out with them for an entire day.
It’s always difficult when two families start to merge together, and things can always be a bit bumpy at times. But as long as you and your sibs try your hardest to compromise and keep the line of communication open with your mom, things will
start to get better.
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POSTED ON 7/3/2010 7:00:00 AM