I love my parents, and they love each other. But when they get mad, they are a millisecond away from ripping each apart. I think I usually start the problems, and then they start screaming at each other. Every vacation is ruined because of this. Sometimes they get violent, and sometimes I get abused.
When they are calm, they promise they love each other and would NEVER divorce, but when they are angry, they break their promises. I can't stand it any longer. I'm scared to talk to a counselor because I am afraid my parents will get arrested, and I don't want that. I just want anonymous help. Having heart-to-heart discussions with them hasn't helped.
I’m really sorry you’re in such a tough sitch. I’m sure all of us at one point in time were stuck between a parental feud, and can relate to how much it can hurt.
Finding someone to talk to
I know you said you’re scared, but it’s really important that you talk to someone. A guidance counselor would be a lot of help and can point you to the right direction. You can also try talking to a clergy member at your local church or reaching out to a family member, like a grandparent, aunt or uncle. It’s important that you find an adult that can help support you and your family during difficult times.
If you are looking for anonymous help, here are some resources that you can contact for free:
) is hotline staffed by teens from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. PST. (Call 310-855-HOPE or 800-TLC-TEEN; toll-free in California only).
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
A one-stop shop for all violence-related issues, the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center can provide and help and info for dating, domestic and school-based abuse. Call 1-866-SAFEYOUTH or visit safeyouth.org
When your parents begin to argue, or you feel the environment around you starting to become hostile, remove yourself from the situation. I know you may feel like you need to intervene, help or stop, but you must first and foremost, worry about your safety. Your parents are adults, and should be able to work out their problems without any intervention on your part. If you can, leave the house for a bit and stay with a friend or family member till things cool down. If leaving is not an option, go to your room.
It’s also really important to tell your parents how this makes you feel because in the midst of all their drama, you are still stuck in the middle feeling all the affects of their anger. When they are calm and collected, mention to them how you feel unsafe and even suggest if you could go to counseling as a family. A lot of churches and facilities in your area should offer counseling.
Your parents love you and would not and should not intentionally hurt you or make you feel scared. Stay strong, girl.
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BY LAUREN R. ON 6/29/2010 3:04:00 PM