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My BFF stole my BF!

 
My BF and my BFF had to go to summer school but I didn't. So before I went on vacation I gave them both really big hugs and told them I was going to miss them. But when I came back, they were holding hands!! All I wanted to do was yell at them for not telling me! How can I manage my anger towards them?

Hey there, girly. Sorry to hear about the way tough sitch. I can only imagine how upset you must be. I know I would be too. But before you freak out, here are some tips to keep your cool and collected.

Express yourself…in writing
 
First off, it’s a really good idea to get a journal (or even just scraps of paper) to vent. Let your mind wander and let your thoughts flow freely onto the page (no one else is going to read it anyway). You’ll be surprised how much better you feel afterwards. This’ll help get some of your anger and hurt off your chest before you address anyone.

Take turns
 
Avoid confronting them at the same time. A one-on-one chat is much more intimate and you’re less likely to get as worked up. Take a deep breath and try talking to your BFF first. Mention that you saw them holding hands, and ask her to honestly tell you what happened while you were gone. Let her explain her side of the story before you respond. Interrupting is a quick way to turn a mature discussion into an angry argument.

Count to 10
 
Take it all in. If you feel your temper about to flare, take a deep breath and count to ten before you say anything. It’s a good way to calm down and collect yourself. Don’t hide that you’re obviously upset about this, but make sure she (and Y-O-U) remember that you’re friends and trust each other to be truthful and respectful. You’re both mature young women, not to mention BFFs who can work all this out in a mature fashion. If you find you’re getting waaay upset, it might be a good idea to remove yourself and come back to talk about it when you’ve calmed down.

Time heals
 
I know it hurts a lot, girl, but trust me when I say it will get better. You’re going through a really tough sitch now, but if you remember to relax and talk things out, it will all work out. BFFs are supposed to never let a boy come between them. Sure, this is easier said than done, but maturity, effort and time will guide you. I know in the end you’ll be just fine.

BY KRISTEN YEUNG ON 7/19/2010 4:31:00 PM

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