Having killer confidence is easier said than done. Being you is hard when every classroom poster says to be unique and everything else about school screams “FIT IN!” Everywhere the same advice gets repeated like a broken record, and after a while, it sounds meaningless. Here’s why it’s not. GL’s breaking down the five biggest confidence clichés.

Be Yourself
In high school, appearance plays a huge role and can dictate the friends you make. Kids get ridiculed all the time for their fashion choices and it’s pretty much the worst. But, if you don’t participate in the gossip, you won’t care if you’re subjected to it. Rise above drama and be the girl who looks different because she puts her opinion first, not because she’s looking for attention.

Smile!
Do you ever get a concerned “What’s wrong?” in the hallway when you’re feeling fine? That’s means it might not be so bad to hitch on a grin between chemistry and algebra. You’ll be surprised at how much smiling can not only uplift your own spirits, but attract positive people. Translation? You’ll be approachable, which leads to more friends.

Reach for the Stars
A girl with goals is both motivated and driven, and other people are drawn to that. So sit down, pen in hand, and jot down three goals—one for the week, one for the month and one for the year. When you achieve smaller goals, the bigger ones become totally doable. Accomplishments are the chicken soup for the self-esteem, and if you make yourself happy first, you’ll be happier in a group.

Practice Makes Perfect
An older, wiser woman once said, “Only perfect practice makes perfect.” That’s the truth. You won’t get better at something unless you really try, and only you know if you’re putting in enough time. Gaining confidence in school is just as important as it is with friends and boys, so try, fail and then try again.

Kill ‘em with Kindness
Getting what you want in life is largely about how well you communicate with other people. The impression that other people get around you is a big factor in how they treat you. If you’re ever faced with a tough sitch, or even a not-so nice classmate, teacher, whatever, tackle it/them with as much sweetness as you can muster. You’ll be surprised at how just your ‘tude can win over the toughest opponents.

Girls who drip with confidence make it look easy, but that’s the biggest secret. They can be just as insecure as everyone else, but they know how to handle situations. You are your own worst critic, and making the leap from second guessing everything you do to sashaying through the halls is daunting. Try to make yourself happy first and other people will follow naturally.