My best friend and I have
been friends for 6 years. The thing is, she is always trying to be better than
me (and she's succeeding, too.). Whenever I do something or get something, she
has to do or get the same thing, except bigger. If I go shopping, she goes
shopping and gets more clothes. If I get concert tickets for second row seats,
she gets seats in the first row. Then she starts bragging. She
always says something like, "This is so cool and so fun. Too, bad you don't
When I try to tell her that
I feel as though she always has to be better than me, she gets defensive and starts
insulting me, and it turns into a huge fight. I don't want to lose her as a
friend because we have been friends for so long, but it's hard to be friends
with someone who always one-ups me. How do I tell her that she is lowering my self-esteem
because she brags about everything?
Hey girl, I know it’s hard
to deal with a best friend gone bad. She’s your bestie and you don’t want to
ditch her if you don’t have to. Good for you for trying to fix the sitch and
keep your bud.
Your friend sounds as though
she might be dealing with self-esteem issues of her own. That could be why she
feels the need to one-up you constantly.
The next time you talk to
her, focus on your own probs. Don’t even mention that she’s the one sinking
your self-esteem. Tell her that you feel as though what you do and what you
have are never good enough, and you would be really grateful if she would try
to help you lift your spirits.
Turn on the Charm
When you get a compliment,
you feel pretty good, right? Good enough to pay it forward, I daresay. Boosting
your friend’s sense of self worth by offering little comments—“That tee is so
cool!”—could make her day better and, consequently, your own.
Know When Enough Is
Hang in there and stick it
out if you can. But if it gets too toxic, don’t be afraid to walk away. Some
friends stay in our lives for decades. Others float through to teach us lessons
before moving on. There’s no shame in ending a relationship, especially when a
friend’s behavior is hurting you. Do what you can to salvage your friendship,
but in the end, you’re the one that matters most.
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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 9/14/2010 1:45:00 PM
POSTED IN bad friend, bragging bestie