older brother is always putting me down and making me feel really bad about
myself. He also lies if he does something bad, and blames it on me. He's been
doing this ever since I can remember. It makes me feel small and insignificant.
Because of this I have low self-esteem and low self-confidence
to my brother and my parents, but my parents say, "Just deal with it.
People will do this to you your entire life. This is like practice for the real
I've tried to
just deal with it, but I’m still feeling bad about myself. How do I get my
brother to understand I hate it when he does these things?
can be the biggest pain! I have a
brother, too, and he's always done the exact same thing to me. It can really
get annoying when they don't stop or don't understand that they're actually
upsetting you. Having parents that won't set ‘em straight can also be
I think it's
important to keep talking to your brother. You need to sit him down and have a serious conversation
with him. Let him know that he's really hurting you and that it's not funny
when he does these things. Him
putting you down is making you so much more self-conscious. He needs to understand
that what he’s doing is not right.
About Your Feelings
Showing him that
you're really, truly upset about it will alter the way he's been treating
you. Sometimes brothers really
don't get it. They think that they can mess around without hurting your
feelings. Showing him how much you care what he says can make a world of
difference. He should feel guilty for the things he says and does and for the
effect they’ve had on your self-esteem.
Take the High
that it's always better to take the higher road. If he's picking on you or saying mean things, just walk
and remind yourself that he's not worth it. You don't need to feel bad about yourself, especially
because of your own brother and you definitely don’t’ need to stoop to his
Being the more
mature person is the way to go, especially since he's actually older than
you. Ignoring his gestures and
attitude will make his words insignificant. Hopefully he'll realize that you
really don't care what he thinks—even if you really do, at heart. When he sees
that his bad behavior isn’t getting a rise out of you anymore, maybe he’ll
knock it off.
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BY NATALIE VARGAS ON 9/17/2010 12:05:00 PM
POSTED IN sticky sibling sitches, self-esteem