Last year, my grandfather died, and ever since then, my grandmother hasn’t been the same. She seems to be sad a lot and forgets things more than she used to. She doesn't have as much energy, and she isn't as fun to be with. To tell the truth, it makes me sad to be with her.
I know it's not fair for me to expect too much from her, but I don't know what to do. I don't like being around her anymore. I feel terrible, but I can't help it. What should I do?
Hey hon, the way you feel is perfectly normal. Everyone grieves differently and it takes some people longer than others. There is no right or wrong way to feel. But right now, more than ever, your grandmother needs your love and support.
In her shoes
Imagine for a second that you’re your grandmother. The man you married and raised a family with is no longer around. To you, he was your grandfather. To your grandmother, he was the love of her life–-her soul mate. Even though your grandfather passed away last year, your grandmother still misses him and that’s OK.
Be there for her
It’s tough watching a loved one hurt like this. You may feel like there’s nothing you can do to make it better, but there are a lot of ways to help. Probably one of the best ways you can support your grandmother is by listening. Sharing memories about your grandfather can be therapeutic for both of you. By talking about your favorite moments with him, you keep his memory alive and he’ll never be forgotten.
A great way to feel closer to your grandfather is to do something he loved. Did he enjoy golfing? Maybe you can take your grandmother out for a round of putt-putt. Or maybe he enjoyed gardening? Plant a tree with your grandmother in her backyard in honor of him. And, last, but certainly not least, give her a hug and let her know how much you love her. It will definitely mean a lot to her.
Lots of love,