When it comes to ex-boyfriends, I have more than a few. If you were to gather them all together, they’d add up somewhere between enough to fill a freight elevator and, say, a small town in North Dakota.
Some people may view my dating history as a rather lengthy string of failed relationships. I prefer to think of my exes as “learning opportunities” or “reference
material for Taylor Swift, just in case she ever runs out of her own and calls me.” Hey, we know each other, it could happen….
It’s not that I choose badly. I really don’t. The guys I’ve dated all seemed right at the time—but just not right for me in the end. In a lot of ways, these relationships made me who I am. How? Well, to paraphrase a long-ago, best-selling book, “All I Really Need To Know, I Learned From My Ex-Boyfriends”…
Peter G: If someone believes in you, you can accomplish more than you
ever thought possible.
Paul B: You can fix anything with vice grips and duct tape.
Will: You can love someone down to the very core of your being and it still might not work out. And it will break your heart.
Greg: No matter how nice a guy is, if you ain’t feelin’ it, you ain’t feelin’ it.
Phil: Guys who aren’t over their ex-girlfriends…go back to their ex-girlfriends.
Peter K: Sometimes going out with the biggest player in school isn’t all bad, after all.
Paul Y: Super smart is a super-good boyfriend quality.
Martin: Being kind is also a super-good boyfriend quality.
David: Going on a long vacation with someone you just met makes for
a looooong vacation.
Pete/Bill/JR/Geo: Spending time with fun boys who love to do what you love to do (ski, eat great food, hang out with friends) makes you wish the day would never end.
Owen: 5 feet 6 is the shortest acceptable height for a guy. His words, not mine.
Sean: If you want money, don’t marry it; make it.
Henry: Trying to have a relationship with someone famous is way weird.
Jon: Date someone you would feel comfortable introducing to your BFF, your mom and the president of the United States and you will never go wrong.
So to all Mr. Not-So-Wrongs, my thanks. You’ve taught me what I want in the future: A smart, kind, fairly handy, non-famous guy who’s on the taller side, a bit of a player (but not too much) who supports my dreams, career and will be a best friend who I am madly in love with. Can’t be that hard to find, right? Er…well, at the very least, the search will make for a good Taylor song.