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49 Comments | Add Yours

My parents punish me instead of helping me



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I’m having some serious issues with my parents. I feel like they just don’t understand me when I do something wrong or forget something.

 

And instead of encouraging me to make the right decisions and remember things, they turn to punishment like taking away my cell phone and iPod.

 

I feel kinda hopeless. I want to make them proud but it seems as though nothing will.

 

Sounds like you’re going through a tough time, girl. I remember feeling like my parents just didn’t get me, too. Often times, this is just a phase that you and your parents will eventually outgrow. But that doesn’t mean there’s noting you can do about it.

 

Often times what happens is that parents overreact to kids doing something wrong, and then kids overreact to the punishment. Perhaps your parents should give you a chance to explain yourself. And when they punish you, instead of feeling hopeless, perhaps you could try to explain yourself more calmly.

 

Don't just get angry and frustrated, but try calmly telling them how you feel. If they understand that you want to make better decisions, and that negative reinforcement is not having their desired effect, you can come up with a solution together that involves positive reinforcement.

 

Your parents do want what’s best for you, so try to have a conversation about this without getting upset and voice yourself in a way that they can understand. Good luck!
 
GOT YOUR OWN FAMILY FEUD? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY LINDSEY SILKEN ON 12/27/2010 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN problems with my parents, my parents are way-strict

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MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Please Help!!

So today is my birthday. I think I should get to choose what we do/ watch on TV etc. The only thing I get to pick is what we have for dinner but there is even limits on that. Other than dinner and cake my parents treat it just like any other day. It makes me feel like I'm not that important. Also for the past few years I haven't even gotten birthday gifts from them. I have a party but I still feel I should get something else. Am I expecting too much?

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by sweetheart118 on 1/18/2011 3:25:25 PM

 
 

MOD! I need help. My parents won’t let me do anything a normal teenager does. I can't go on facebook, I can't see popular movies. My parents lock almost everything on TV. There is even a child safety software on our internet right at this very moment!! I have tried talking about it calmly but my mom just screams and yells at me all the time, and my dad sides with her. Mom controls this entire family... nobody has a say. HELP ME PLEASE!!




Hey girlie,

Read this article - I think the advice might really help you stay positive and hopeful about this situation <3

http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/11/05/Blocked-from-Browsin.aspx 

Lauren C.

report

by Cute GothicGirl on 1/17/2011 1:30:32 PM

 
 

This is the same prob with me!

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by tangerine977 on 1/15/2011 1:49:58 AM

 
 

Hey chicas! This is Happy. I love giving advice- ask me anything- I’ll give you advice on school, boys, clothes, style, makeup, hair, beauty, family, friends, parties and other hangouts, gifts, jobs, workouts, eating, health, accessories, your body, entertainment, hobbies, after-school, depression, drama of any kind, difficult situations, holidays, bullies, and anything else you want help figuring out! Ask your question on my profile, and I’ll post your question with well-thought out advice underneath on your wall ASAP!
<3

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by Ask Happy on 1/13/2011 6:48:08 PM

 
 

MOD- im having serious problems with my mom. im a freshman in hs, and i go to a really hard school but instead of doing the math science tech magnet i did a different one that is supposedly easier (but better meets my interests). I got all A's this semester because i tried rlly rlly hard but she doesnt get that i hav to try. i do key club, which requires 50 hrs of volunteer work. i also am sorta in debate club, which is the problem. i go to practices but its REALLY not my thing, I HATE IT! i seriously DREAD it. my mom just figured out there have been tournaments (which i don't go to, of course) and got really mad that i havent gone. she told me i hav to do "hard, academic" extracurriculars, and i would if i had one i enjoyed! the prollem is that i dont think any will let me in late, and i can't drop out of debate but i don't think i can stick with it any more! what do i do? i tred to talk to her but she DOESNT GET IT!! Frown any advice? thanks!!




Hey girl, I can definitely tell you by doing all that in HS, you're going to get into an incredible college! I think you need to have a sitdown with her. If you don't like what you're doing, and its really hard on top of all your other work, its not fair she keeps you in the debate team. Why don't you do something else like a sports team? Colleges really look for diversity in activities. Not just academics, but what else you've been up to. You can do it. Be strong! =]

lauren r.

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by fencingchic101 on 1/12/2011 6:03:24 PM

 
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