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My parents punish me instead of helping me



I’m having some serious issues with my parents. I feel like they just don’t understand me when I do something wrong or forget something.

 

And instead of encouraging me to make the right decisions and remember things, they turn to punishment like taking away my cell phone and iPod.

 

I feel kinda hopeless. I want to make them proud but it seems as though nothing will.

 

Sounds like you’re going through a tough time, girl. I remember feeling like my parents just didn’t get me, too. Often times, this is just a phase that you and your parents will eventually outgrow. But that doesn’t mean there’s noting you can do about it.

 

Often times what happens is that parents overreact to kids doing something wrong, and then kids overreact to the punishment. Perhaps your parents should give you a chance to explain yourself. And when they punish you, instead of feeling hopeless, perhaps you could try to explain yourself more calmly.

 

Don't just get angry and frustrated, but try calmly telling them how you feel. If they understand that you want to make better decisions, and that negative reinforcement is not having their desired effect, you can come up with a solution together that involves positive reinforcement.

 

Your parents do want what’s best for you, so try to have a conversation about this without getting upset and voice yourself in a way that they can understand. Good luck!
 
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BY LINDSEY SILKEN ON 12/27/2010 7:00:00 AM

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