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ADVICE | FAMILY | GIRL TALK

49 Comments | Add Yours

My parents punish me instead of helping me



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I’m having some serious issues with my parents. I feel like they just don’t understand me when I do something wrong or forget something.

 

And instead of encouraging me to make the right decisions and remember things, they turn to punishment like taking away my cell phone and iPod.

 

I feel kinda hopeless. I want to make them proud but it seems as though nothing will.

 

Sounds like you’re going through a tough time, girl. I remember feeling like my parents just didn’t get me, too. Often times, this is just a phase that you and your parents will eventually outgrow. But that doesn’t mean there’s noting you can do about it.

 

Often times what happens is that parents overreact to kids doing something wrong, and then kids overreact to the punishment. Perhaps your parents should give you a chance to explain yourself. And when they punish you, instead of feeling hopeless, perhaps you could try to explain yourself more calmly.

 

Don't just get angry and frustrated, but try calmly telling them how you feel. If they understand that you want to make better decisions, and that negative reinforcement is not having their desired effect, you can come up with a solution together that involves positive reinforcement.

 

Your parents do want what’s best for you, so try to have a conversation about this without getting upset and voice yourself in a way that they can understand. Good luck!
 
GOT YOUR OWN FAMILY FEUD? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

BY LINDSEY SILKEN ON 12/27/2010 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN problems with my parents, my parents are way-strict

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49 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD
i just got my ears pierced about an hour ago. are my ear lobes supposed to be purple & with the veins visible? kinda freaked out... :/
thanks!
xoxo

 

Hey girl. Yes, the swelling should go down soon!

Elizabeth P.

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by mac1255 on 12/28/2010 2:55:57 PM

 
 

My problems's kinda the same. When i forget soemthing my mom yells at me and once i was helping her bake and decorate cookies she was selling and i dropped a sugar cookie face down on the counter after i put frosting on it and my mom yelled and said "You know what, just go. If you're not gonna do it right then don't help me" but i was only tryin to help out and be nice. Once i talked back and yelled "I thought it was normal to make mistakes" but no matter what i do wrong she yells and hates on me for it. It's hard and i have to learn to understand she's just stressed even though i always wanna tell hr it's no exception to how she treats me and what she says. Life.

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by twilightluvr316 on 12/28/2010 2:03:10 PM

 
 

MOD!
This article happens to me all of the time too!!! But everytime I try to explain myself my parents yell at me for talking back...what should I do?? Thanks a mill SmileMyka

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by cross_country.cocoa on 12/28/2010 1:51:19 PM

 
 

ILOVEHARRYPOTTER<33

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by HarryPotterFanClub on 12/28/2010 12:13:16 PM

 
 

MODMOD I haven't gotten my period in 51 days! What do I do????

 

Hey girlie! Periods are irregular in the first year or so, and for some girls their whole life! I can definitely atest to that, but I would still talk to your mom and doctor about it just to be safe.

Caitlin F.

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by *Sigh* on 12/28/2010 10:09:01 AM

 
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