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ADVICE | FRIENDS | DEAR CAROL FRIENDS

I know my friend's secret


 

 

My BFF just found out her dad isn’t her biological father. She didn’t tell me, but my mom did, asking if she’d been acting strange or anything.

 

My mom said she and my dad have known about this for years. Should I say anything to my BFF, now or ever?

 

Dear I Know My Friend’s Secret,

 

The important thing is that you not whisper this secret to anyone else. Ideally, your BFF will broach the subject with you and you’ll be a sensitive listener.

 

Meantime, let it go. While honesty and candor are important, respecting this friend’s privacy may matter more. By the way, keep in mind that the man who raised her is her real dad.
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
 
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com.

BY CAROL WESTON ON 1/3/2011 11:44:00 AM

POSTED IN ,

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49 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

Okay. I have a friend like that. I know it's hard but try to stop comparing. Chances are that you just haven't gotten to know them as well as your older friend and you have to get to know them. Since you've been friends with that other girl for so long, you have formed that 'BFF' image from her. It's okay for you to be annoyed, just work on being more patient.
Sorry but I'm NOT good with guy advice.

Hope it helps. Hang in there!!

by HolaGurl105 on 12/10/2011 4:21:13 PM

 
 

I think my guy friend has a crush on me and he's kind of getting annoying. I don't want to be rude but I kind of want him to go away. What should I do??

by shmowza on 7/18/2011 4:29:35 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! There's this guy that sits behind me in Science class. I don't like him, but I catch myself looking to see if he's around and if I look good enough. If this makes sense, he just...interests me. I don't know how to explain that. He's completely and utterly out of my league, but I do think he's cute, I'm not gonna lie. I never talk to him and he seems too good for me, but yet he doesn't. Why the heck do I feel like this, would you say I like him? I mean why do girls feel this way?




You like him. You are attracted to him so you want to look your best for him and you want him to notice you. Everyone does that. I do all the time. Dont worry about it Smile xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by PinkZebra97 on 5/22/2011 1:26:24 PM

 
 

MOD!i need your help. my bff has a crush on my bgf. she used 2 sort of like him and now she has fallen head over heels for him. the problem is that i just found out that he and one of my really good friends like each other, but they just hadn't told me until yesterday. my bff doesn't know this and she is really convinced that my bgf likes her. the truth is that he thinks she is a wack-job, and only was nice to her because she is my friend. what do i do? i don't want to hurt my bff's feelings, what do i say? do i try to make her like someone else, or casually say that my bgf just isn't the one for her. i want to be a good friend, HELP!

 

Hey girlie!

This is a sticky situation since you don't want to hurt your bff's feelings. I would be upfront with her and say that he likes someone else.It would hurt her feelings more to find out the your BGF likes someone else and you knew all along. It isn't fair to your friend to try to talk her into liking someone else and she will like whoever she likes.Just don't tell her that your BGF is only nice to her because of you.  Good Luck!


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by sszuhaj on 4/28/2011 1:15:10 PM

 
 

Hey girlies! hi you can ask me on anything and everything and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!



-----isabel

by Isabella_1723 on 4/20/2011 11:56:27 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!
okay so i just hung out with my best friend ,that ive been bestfriends with for 12 years,in the first time for a while . were like sisters & shes the most amazing friend in the whole world. when i got back from her house, i found myself comparing my new friends to her, and now, i dont even know, but im always annoyed with them.just by the smallest things they do.. like i want them to be like my bestfriend.and i know thats horrible...why do i do that?

and i really like this guy. he flirts with me 24/7. when a friend says that he likes me, i stop liking him. and then i like him again. whatsup with that?

thanks & sorry its so long!(:

by friendsrforever on 4/3/2011 9:14:58 PM

 
 

thank you so much Marie H. that really helped...i think ur right i just listened to her and i think i hopefully helped so thanks again Smile i needed to vent a little i guess Smile

by dolphina10 on 2/28/2011 10:16:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD my best friend is going through a major melt down right now...we are texting and i'm afraid she's in absoulute tears. she's sent me a 5 page long text and it's still going on, and i dont know what to say, she is saying how her mom (who seems sweet) is telling her to loose weight, how she doesn't know a home other than where her friends are (she moved a few years ago here) and she's saying how she misses church with family and friends and that she's not living up to academic standards and stuff...and i just feel so bad for her because she is the most upbeat bright person in my life and she's my best friend and i dont know what to tell her that will make it okay but i love her so much and i want to make her feel better but shes so overwhelmed and scared sounding and upset Cry any ideas how i can help? shes just an incredible person and i hate to see her like this Frown

 

Hey girlie, First off, it's great to know that she has you looking out for her.  I think you should give her a call.  It's much easier to show how much you care when you can hear someone's voice.  Also, let her know how you wish you could help, and if there's anything you can do to let you know.  Sometimes just hearing that is enough.  Perhaps you could suggest doing something fun this weekend to get her mind off things - like a sleepover at your place, or a trip to the mall.  xoxo

Marie H.

by dolphina10 on 2/28/2011 10:10:29 PM

 
 

wow that hard. i would never know what 2 do but i know u willl do the right thing

by lexypexy123 on 2/27/2011 12:20:39 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My sisters, Diamond (she's 12, just like me, we're twins) Crystal (shes 5), and I are home alone since my Mom has to work. We just got a call from my Aunt Hillary (one of her sisters) that our Aunt Maggie (her other sister) is in the hospital in a coma from a car crash and she may not make it. My Mom is in a great mood today (she's bi polar) and we don't want to make her upset by telling her. Hillary told us to call her and tell her ASAP. Should we tell or wait? How do we tell her? Please help!
~Phoebe

 

hey girlie. I understand how hard it is to tell your mom bad news because she doesn't take it well. But in this case, you really have to tell her because this is very serious. I would call her cell phone or work phone and tell her that she needs to come home and call your Aunt Hillary ASAP because Aunt Maggie was in a serious accident. It's important that you tell her. 

Elizabeth P.

by JBfan97 on 2/21/2011 3:09:35 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
I'm really worried about my BGF. My BFF's mom told me that she remembered something about his mom telling her that he had cancer. My Grandmother just recently died of breast cancer and the thought of my BGF suffering the same way she did brings me to tears. I'm not even sure if he did even had cancer, or if he still has it. I don't completely believe in what she said but I want to find out. I'm worried though that it will bring up bad memories and I don't want him to suffer. Should I just leave it alone? Or should I ask him about it, and tell him about my grandmother(no one knows at my school but my BFF) so he understands that I care about him? I don't want to cross any boundaries with what he wants to tell me, but I'm just really scared T_T




Hey girlie. I know you're scared, but this is a really personal issue if your guy friend really did or does have cancer. If he wants you to know, he'll fill you in. You can always drop hints--"I'm always here if you need to talk" is always a nice thing to hear. 




- Brittany T. 
Brittany T.

by engineer2be on 2/19/2011 5:49:22 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I moved here 3 years ago. I dont have friends. I tried joining clubs and sports but nothing helps. HELP!!!! I WILL NEED AN ANSWER BEFORE I START CRYING...





Helen S.

by snacktimeval on 2/19/2011 4:02:24 PM

 
 

mod mod mod
i just got off the phone with one of my freinds and it sounded like she was going 2 tell me that she like kissed a girl or somethin like like but like i'm straight and feel really really uncomfortable around like you know lesbian i dont know exactly why but i dont think i caould still be freinds with her and feel the same if she did tell me something like that and it's not about my rep or anything it just makes me feel really weird and i've already ended two freindships because of it but i dont know what to do cause she didn't say if she was like lesbian or anything and shes told me many other secrets that weirdly im totally ok with like when she thought that she may be pregnant for some reason i was ok with stuff with that but for some reason thats the one secret i'm not ok with plus she never exactly said so. so what should i do?
thx for your help!

 

Hey girlie. That can be difficult. I think, even if you disagree with lesbians or gay people, as a friend you should be there and try to help her when she is having a hard time. That's what friends are for. A friend is someone who knows everything about you and like you anyway. 

Elizabeth P.

by coly33 on 2/18/2011 10:58:01 PM

 
 

MODERATOR Ok so my bff and mine relationship is falling apart!We had been best friends since Pre-K. What happened was: she started hanging out with other people...and so did i. Then today i was talking to her friends-who are my friends too but she is closer to them. And they were being reeaalllyy mean to me. I have no idea why. AND SHE DID NOTHING. theyre mean to my other friends too! I cant even talk to my bestfriend anymore because of these girls, who were friends with me first, i introduced them to her..and they got close and now they hate me,idk what my BFF thinks because we still talk, but we never see each other anymore! I really miss her and need to talk to her about something! Then today one of my other friends that hates the mean girls told me that the mean girls talk crap about me all the time,i dont know what to do.I have other friends, but my most valuable friendship is fading away...i want to talk to her but idk if she will get mad at me for being mad at her?! HELP PLZ!

 

Hey girl, I think you should try to talk to her.  See if you guys can hang out sometime.  Try not to be harsh - just tell her you miss the cloesness you guys used to have.  She might be feeling the same way.  But it's important to make sure she's treating you right, as well.  If she's not standing up for you, then it might not be a friendship that's right in the long run.  But start by talking to her, and see where it goes.  xoxo

Marie H.

by peacelovecandy on 2/7/2011 8:11:23 PM

 
 

MOD!
My bff has the flu, and me and my other friend kinda keep having these dreams (or nightmares) that she's gonna die! Not that I want her to. Plus that friend that also has those dreams is hanging out with this really mean girl that always hurts my feelings! So I barely have anyone to hang out with. And last friday it was movie night and she said she would sit by me but she left me alone sitting by myself. I dunno if I dont want to be friends or not because if im not her friend then I would only have one that is too goodie-two-shoes!! WHAT DO I DO!? IM FREAKING OUT!!




Hey girlie. You don't ever need to limit the amount of friends you have. Make some new friends if you feel like your current ones aren't being the best of friends. 
Marly Z.

by 1willynilly1 on 2/5/2011 9:08:18 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD!!!!
My friend and I were goofing off and then all the sudden she got really serious and told me who she liked. I never thought it would be a really popular but weird guy so I started laughing like it was all a joke. Thinking it was a joke I told this one girl who is also friends with me about it but I told her it isn't real. She started telling everyone about it now my friend is mad at me. I asked her why she is so mad and she said it was because I told everyone who she liked I feel so bad but now she is dissing me and hates me because I told that she likes him. I tried being nice to her I tried to end the rumor but she i still mad at me. What should I do???

 

Hey girlie. That's hard. I'm sorry that it happened. I think it may be best to give your friend some to mellow out. She is probably angry right now and the last thing she wants is to talk to you. Give it a week and then try talking to her again and telling her how sorry you are. Honestly, don't even try to justify your reasoning. Just listen to what she has to say and then tell her that you were wrong and ask her what you can do to make it okay. An apology has to be all about the other person. Good luck!

Elizabeth P.

by sweetbaby12 on 2/4/2011 9:12:02 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
ok my frinend was fliting with my bf like alot in band 2day and she made me so mad!! but the last time i calgh her doing that she keepet on deninig it and i made her do it more!!what should i do to make her stop because if she dosent stop i cant ivite her to my bff onley sleepover wich will make her super upset plez help!!!!




Hey chica,

First off, think about your BF. You trust him, right? If so, then you have nothing to worry about and can breathe a little easier when you see this happening. Next, sit down again with your friend and be honest with her. Don't yell at her or accuse her in a mean way - just say that you really care about both your BF and her, so you're super happy that they get along but you want to make sure her interaction with him doesn't go beyond "just friends." I know it sounds crazy, but she might not even notice she's flirting at all. A little reminder will go a long way!




P.S. Also, try to look at their convos from an objective point-of-view - that means in a fair way. This way, you make sure you aren't just acting paranoid because you're jealous of your BF talking to other girlies. You only want to call your BFF out if there's a real issue so it's important to remember this Smile

Lauren C.

by justinbieberfan8263 on 1/31/2011 5:37:24 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD ok..so in my family i hve hve a 3 siisters. they ech hve a bunch of friends, wen i only hve 1. and wen evr their firnds r ovr,,they totally ignoreme. i rlly dont mind..but it seams tht thye hve much mre fun thn me and my friend. on fb my frind has a bunch of activities planeed with othr girls..and i get rlly jealous. my bbf kinda diagnosed me with S.A.D...or social anxiety diosrder. like tht im nevis around othr ppl. thts true..i am. but i wanna hve more frinds..plzzz hlp me!!! no one at my skool likes me xcept 4 my frind. i wanna brk outta MY SHELL..BUT ITS HARD! PLZ HLP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM DESPARATE!





Helen S.

by springsummer_01 on 1/30/2011 12:59:17 PM

 
 

hi
i just found out that my crush knows that i like him what should i do

by HEYY123 on 1/28/2011 3:58:15 PM

 
 

hi,
i just found out that my crush knows that i like him what sould i do !


by HEYY123 on 1/28/2011 3:55:28 PM

 
 

i just found out that my crush knows that i like him . he has been acting really strange lately,is that a sign

by HEYY123 on 1/28/2011 3:53:07 PM

 
 

My BFF is always hanging out with a girl both of us hate!And they're always hanging out with older girls and chatting to them on facebook!And when i chat to them,they say 'be right back' and go offline.My bezzie and the girl even had a huge fight recently,but got back together straight after!Help me,i love my bezzie and i want her to stay with me forever! Im so frustrated!Also,today when i saved her a spot in prep(very hard work) i looked back and there she was,sitting with THAT GIRL! And when someone moved from the table THAT GIRL said 'theres a free spot here!' and when i tried to sit there,a teacher got mad at me!HHHHEEELLLPPPP MMMMEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

Hey girl! It doesn't really sound like both of you hate her if your BFF is spending so much time with her. That doesn't mean that you have to like her just because your friend does, but you should respect that your BFF is branching out and meeting new people. Just because she has other friends doesn't mean she is going to ditch you. Maybe you should try to get along with this other girl so you guys can all hang out together, but you could also let your BFF know you'd like to spend some time with just her. Good luck! Smile

Caitlin F.

by CherryFizz on 1/26/2011 3:29:21 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!
My bff (well kind of)is now hanging out with the gals who r mean 2 me. Plus, she wants me 2 bcome friends with one of them who always hurts my feelings when im around her.Also she doesnt want me 2 b friends with my other friend who is just like me. Now that my bestie is doing that, i dont want 2 b her friend. And 3 out of 4 of my other friends said that she is not the right type of friend 4 me bcause shes a goodie2shoes and im a lil'bitrude kind of gal. But the problem is... I DONT NO HOW 2 TELL HER THAT!!!! Plz,plz,plz tell me how 2 tell her that i dont wanna b her friend!!!! Ty




Hey girl,

Try not to be offended by the fact that your BFF wants to branch out and make new friends - that's actually a good thing! But if she gets to be friends with who she wants, you can be friends with whoever you want too. You're free to be who you want to be! Instead of coming out and telling her you don't want to be friends, just try talking to your other friends and spending more time on your own. If she calls you out on it, tell her straight-up that you would rather spend time around friends who respect you and your desires. You don't want to feel controlled, and you felt like she was doing that. There's nothing wrong with standing your ground <3

Lauren C.

by 1willynilly1 on 1/24/2011 8:07:49 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Please help! I want my BFF back! I was Best friends with this girl named Gabby in 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th grade and some of 7th grade (this year). One day we were best friends,, doing all of that best friends stuff, and the next day, she wouldn't even talk to me! She hates me now and she's so mean! Whenever I tried talking to her, she just says "I don't care" and walks away! I feel like I did something wrong when I know I didn't, and I miss my BFF! How can I get her back? Please help!
~ Brylie

 

Hey girl,

Unfortunately, it seems like your BFF has changed. Even if you become more like best friends again, she still may not act the same, so it wouldn't be the same as before. If I were you, I would be willing to let her back into my life, but I probably wouldn't focus on trying to get her back right now. If she's mean, she probably isn't being very good of a friend to you. I would also try to spend more time with your other friends and make new friends through classes or activities.

Vanessa J.

by cheerrox1111 on 1/22/2011 11:04:10 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I need help...
Recently, my friend confided in me that her father is an alcoholic and her mom used to be a druggie. But that's the least of her problems. Her parents pay all the attention to her older brother and his college tuition and what he wants to be. They just tell my friend what to do; she loves music and the arts, but they already have her signed up to go to a doctor camp over the summer! The worst part is, since they're paying all the attention to her older brother, she is starting to dress really "sexy" and dark and act a little... Well, promiscuous, for lack of a better word. She even tells her parents stories of how she drinks and smokes, just so they'll at least yell at her, cause they don't care what she does unless it's drugs or alcohol. I know this isn't her. I feel so sorry for her. What can I do or say to help her?

 

Hey girlie. That's tough. It's important to be open to listening to her when she is going through a  hard time. But honestly, this could be a bit out of your area of expertise. Try talking to your friend about seeing the school counselor so she can at least talk about the problems she is facing and not drowning them with temporary pleasures.

Elizabeth P.

by roxygal1642 on 1/21/2011 9:23:22 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
my best friend is depressed kind of a lot because her parents dnt have a lot of money and her dad is in and out of the hospital a lot, and i feel like a horrible friend because i never know what to say to her when she's depressed. i try but whatever i say just sounds stupid or i dont say much at all and then i feel like a jerk. our other best friend is great at comforting people and she can say these amazing really deep things that make you feel way better. im not like that and it's really annoying because i feel like a total jerk. HELP!




I think you should tell her youe not too good at the whole comforting words thing because they all get all jumbled up in your head. Let her know that youll always be there to hug her and be there for her if she needs it. Im sure she would love your honesty and support Smile xoxo kerra
Kerra S.

by biffo on 1/19/2011 9:45:20 PM

 
 

ahhh! mod can you please help me?? my friend has people bullying her at school. she cuts sometimes and doesnt eat at lunch. one of my other friends talked to a counselor about her and tried to get her to go to the counselor but she wont go. she doesnt get along with her parents that well, so she wont talk to them about anything. she asked me to help her stop cutting herself but i dont know what to tell her. can you help me to help her?

by calivolleyball95 on 1/18/2011 6:13:32 PM

 
 

somthing like this happpened to my friend a couple of my friends found out that our friend's dad is on his second marraige.she doesn't know so we decided it best not to tell her

by titanicfanaic on 1/12/2011 5:30:51 PM

 
 

Mod- A girl I know, we worked out together in the new year since I wanted to help her work out and she talked nothing, but bad stuff about me (like how fat I am), and then she started saying bad stuff about my friends and family, after that she was talking about how she was going to starve herself. I am sick of her act. I went to one of my friends to ask for advice and so I told ONLY her, but then I felt bad about telling so I told the girl a little bit of what I said because I realized it would make me feel guilty I hate seeming like a bad friend(I'm told I'm too nice)and I didn't want her to feel too bad, and she completely denied everything sent my 16 angry texts and a couple saying that she forgives me, but it's going to be hard to win back MY trust even though I know she has probably told her whole family and all of my friends. And so I just deleted her from my contacts on facebook and on my phone, I do not want any contact with her. I don't know what else I should do, any advice?

Hey girlie! It seems as though you are doing the right thing. Something like that can not be too easily forgiven. Of course you can't stay angry at her forever, but just keep her at a safe distance so that such an event doesn't happen again. Of course, you might end up seeing her in school, and if that's the case just say hi and tell her you have to go to class or the bathroom. Good luck with everything and stay strong!
Jessica W.

by i_luv_devin on 1/12/2011 2:37:27 AM

 
 

I NEED HELP!!! my friend just told me that her big sister was gay and i kinda freaks out. I didnt know what to do. I told her that being gay can give you aids and she kinda freaked out looked it up and said it wasnt true. BUT IT IS. my biological grandfather died from aids and i never met him. Now she says i cand be her friend cause im not ok with it like she is. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! She is not responding to any of my txts or calls now and i just wanna help her. I told her that the lead singer of Queen died from aids and everything but she wont listen to me and says im lying. I dont know what to say or do I NEED HELP AND FAST




Hey girlie. When someone tells you that their family member is gay, the best response probably should not be the probability of their death.But don't worry! It can be hard to hear this for the first time because it is not something you hear/see every day. Try talking to her in a few days when things have settled down and tell her that you are sorry for not being more supportive but it's just that you don't neccessarily know how you feel about the whole thing and are not sure if you are comfortable with it. But that can maybe be a topic that you two don't address when together.
Elizabeth P.

by caca35 on 1/11/2011 6:42:30 PM

 
 

Hey GL Readers, I am an anonymous writer for a newspaper at an all girls school. I work with advice and my writing this week focuses on fear and how some people don't like change. They don't necessarily sound similar but they can be. Anyways, before I get it published I wanted to get some opinion on it so it will be posted on the next message. Thanks!

 

Hey girlie! Sounds like your a pro at this! Just write what comes from the heart! Maybe even write about your own past experiences with fear and changes! Since the readers are girls your age they will most likely have gone through the same fears as you and would love reading your advice! Goodluck!! XOXO

Blaine D.

by mileyspark on 1/11/2011 1:15:25 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD Please help! Okay, so me and my best friend are well best friends. But we are on extended winter break and we have been skyping and texting alot. I never thought this was a problem, until i found out her mom thinks im needy. One time i called her when she was near her mom and asked her to skkype! i didnt know that was needy! and now her brother took her fone and started calling me a stalker and said that i have no other friends (which i do, but she's more intresting and we tell eachother everything) he also said that she even said that i called her to much! And it hurts so bad to know that my best friends (or atleast i think) family thinks i'm a stalker and that she might think im annoying! it hurts really bad and i'm crying and can't stop shaking and i don't wanna call her or text her back cuz i might sound to stalkerish please help!

 

Hey girl, I'm so sorry to hear that.  I can see why that would really hurt!  First, take a deep breath and don't beat yourself up.  If your friend is the one that told you that, talk to her about it.  Let her know that it hurt your feelings to hear that, and you really do want to be a good friend.  Hopefully opening up will make you feel better.  Also, I know it might not sound so appealing, but consider talking to a parent or adult you trust about how you feel.  It can be great to open up to someone outside of the sitch for a new perspective when you're feeling down.  Hang in there, xoxo

Marie H.

by laurasocswim on 1/10/2011 10:00:10 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
How do I ask Carol a question online?




Try going to her page and asking her! Use the search box on the right to look her up! 
Marly Z.

by nerdisthewurd26 on 1/8/2011 9:31:20 PM

 
 

MOD! pLEASE HELP!
Ok me and my bestest friend have liked the same guy for about 3 months. She is now dating him and i am so jealous! i told her i didn't like him anymore because I didn't want her to think it is weird for her to be dating him. Even though she is dating him it seems like he has a crush on me. I went to my school's dance last night and he was talking to all of my friends in our 'group' and he kept looking at me instead of her. My friend's boyfriend and I are really close friends and I was one of the first to know he liked her. I am so confused please help!




Hey girlie! You really need to decide what's important to you. If your friendship with your best friend is important, then try and not get in between her and her boyfriend. If he seems like he has a crush on you, try to ignore it. A guy can easily come in between 2 friends, so don't let that happen to you! 
Marly Z.

by maddogsoccer25 on 1/8/2011 6:39:32 PM

 
 

wow....

by hailbop16 on 1/7/2011 8:32:09 PM

 
 

Well if you feel it is necessary don't tell her. But look at it this way, she is your BFF she'll understand. My BFF's parents where splitting and I told her I knew before she told me, she was fine she trusted me. Tell her you are there for her. (The good news is that they didn't after all but know we tell each other EVERYTHING.)

by Sharpie on 1/6/2011 7:43:03 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
so i just entered high school. and me and this girl sierra are like sisters, we do everything together, and we have known eachother forever, but were also both bestfriends with there 2 other girls,lets call them; J and H so J and H both play softball, and Sierra and I both are Cheerleaders (for the school). Because were Cheerleaders J and H have this steriotype for us: dumb, floozys, and perfect. and they get really mad when guys ask us to go to places, like dates. im not to sure whats going on but their really not happy with us. im really trying to explain to them that there thinking of Cheerleaders is just a steriotype, but they just wont listen, it got worse when the guy ME J and H liked asked me to homecoming, i asked their premistion before doing anything and they said they were happy for me but now there even madder. i dont want our friendship to end, cuz there mad about guys asking me places, what should i do??? Frown

Hey girlie! I know how hard it is to end a friendship with girls you have known for awhile, but if their attitude is always making you miserable, then why deal with it. You know you are not the things they claim you are, and the fact they can't see that makes them ignorant of the the fact that not all Cheerleaders are the stereotype portrayed on TV. Again, I know you want to stay friends with them, but is it really worth it if you have to apologize or be afraid after every time a guy asks you out? The thing about high school is that it is a time of transition which means friends are going to come and go (I know this is a sad fact, but believe me, I witnessed and experienced it first hand). Just take a break from these girls and let them simmer in their jealousy. In time, they will see that you are actually a cool and smart girl, and won't give you such a hard time just for being a cheerleader

 
Jessica W.

by prettyprincess55555 on 1/5/2011 2:30:08 AM

 
 

If she brings it up, act like you never knew. if you tell her she might get upset.

by Photochickie on 1/4/2011 9:22:56 PM

 
 

HARRY POTTER FANS AND POTTER PUPPET PALS FANS!!!!!!

by HarryPotterFanClub on 1/4/2011 3:51:30 PM

 
 

MODMOD
I feel (and have felt for as long as I can remember) the no one understands me. not even my closest relative or friend. I've never actually showed the real "me" just because the real me is usually really really sad. I don't want to make it known so a counselor is out of the question. to my closest most dearest friend I have hinted but he doesn't examine my words close enough to see the hurt inside them. what should I do?




Hey girl,  you need to just tell your closest friend directly: tell someone. What you're dealing with is very real and scary. You shouldn't have to deal with that dark side (the depression) alone and no one can help you if they don't know there's a problem. You should never have to hide who you are because you're wonderful.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by *Sigh* on 1/4/2011 1:33:25 PM

 
 

Wow... that's really hard. but that was good advice GL. (:

by 1cutiepie24546 on 1/4/2011 1:16:30 AM

 
 

Mod I really need some advice please... My mom is divorcing my horrible stepdad and he is totally not okay with it. He has been saying very mean things to her and being a total jerk, but at the same time he says he wants to "work it out." they have fought like this a few times before, and my mom told me that the reason she's never actually gone through with it is because he makes her feel so guilty for leaving him and tearing our family apart. My mom is my very best friend in the world, and she is so strong and I admire her so much, but lately she's been telling me how upset she is and she even cries infront of me. I feel like there's nothing I can do to help, so I was wondering if you had some advice on what I could tell her to make her feel better while she goes through this? Thank you sooooo much!!

 

Hey girl,

First, I am so, so sorry to hear that your mom and you are going through this.  It is so great to know that she has you looking out for her.  I think you should tell her what you told me - that she is so strong and you admire her so much.  I am sure she would love to hear that.  Also, let her know that if you can help in any way, you would.  This is a tough time for both of you, so lean on each other for support, but also make sure you both get an opportunity to relax and feel good.  Maybe you could do something fun together.  You are both strong ladies, and I know you can get through this.  xoxo

Marie H.

by lyc13 on 1/3/2011 11:44:45 PM

 
 

HEY GIRLS!
Need advice about *anything*? I'm your girl! Leave me a comment on my profile, and I'll get back to you right away. (:

by SierrasFace on 1/3/2011 11:33:40 PM

 
 

Wow. That stinks.
Only help her if she asks
and
Only bring it up and talk about it if SHE brings it up. You dont want to make her feel upset at a time she is happy and you dont want to make things worse if she's in a bad mood.

Hope this helps!!!! Laughing

by goldfish123 on 1/3/2011 10:28:37 PM

 
 

Only help her out if she asks you.

by readerhi1234 on 1/3/2011 8:52:41 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
Okay..so my friends are mean to me. I can't tell them anything. They could care less about me, and I'm putting wayyyy more into our friendship than they are. They just aren't nice. It's almost like were more of frenemies than actual friends! It really, really sucks. So what should I do? Thanks.
Bette.




Hey Bette,

Do you think this is something you can talk to them about? Or do you think this is just the way your friendship is? If you think it's a lost cause, you might want to think about getting involved in a new club/sport/activity and meet new people! That doesn't mean you have to cut these people out of your life - they could be fun and worth hanging out with in their own ways, but you definitely deserve someone who shares your interests and who will be there to support you through anything. Loyalty and trust are important in friendships! Be out-going and see who else is out there - it's definitely worth the extra effort, to find someone you really get along with and who lets you be yourself Smile

Lauren C.

by ♥ThePerfectPerson♥ on 1/3/2011 7:31:13 PM

 
 

Hey, my dad isn't my biological father. I found out in kindergarten and still treat my dad the same as i did b4 i knew. It doesn't affect me whatsoever

by caitlingirl1997 on 1/3/2011 7:20:36 PM

 
 

wow.
COME TO MY PROFILE!

-Katie

by katiekakes8 on 1/3/2011 7:19:41 PM

 
 

My best friend always had a hunch that her dad wasn't her biological father. We both found it out together. She confronted her mom about it and found out that when she was three her mom left her dad. He was doing drugs and tried to give her and her sister some.My Bff remebered visiting this weird guy, and he and her mom fighting. and going to a court and having her name changed. Sometimes her mom would add on a name when she yelled. Now I'm worried because were're fourteen and she wants to find her real dad. I'm worried that he's still doind drugs and that my friend might be dissapointed when she learns the truth. I just don't want her to get hurt.

by arg5890 on 1/3/2011 6:25:35 PM

 
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