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Crush vs. BFF: How can I stop the fighting?


I like this guy and he likes me back. Even though we haven’t started dating yet, there’s already a problem: He and my best friend don’t get along. I am constantly being put in the middle by both of them, and it’s so stressful. I’m arguing with both of them because they can’t get along. I’ve already tried asking why they don’t get along, but it gets me nowhere. Do you have any suggestions?

That’s a tough sitch, girlie. It’s hard to be stuck in the middle, as you well know. Here are a couple of things you can try to ease the tension.

Tell them the truth
A true friend or potential love interest would never want to see you hurtin’, especially if they’re the one causing the pain. I recommend sitting each one down separately and spilling everything. Tell them you love their company and you totally get that they don’t like each other, for whatever reason. But it’s tearing you apart to try to be friends with both of them. Couldn’t they get along just for your sake? Tolerance isn’t a lot to ask.

A serious question
If they really, truly can’t stand each other, then you might have to make a tough choice. Think about it now: Could you drop one to stay friends with the other? Would you be willing to split with your guy to stay in BFF’s good graces? Or would you ditch your bestie for puppy love? I’m not saying you’ll definitely have to choose, and chances are they won’t ask you to. It is something to at least think about, though.

Fighting jealousy
If your two friends refuse to tell you why they don’t like each other, it’s possible that they’re simply jealous of the time you spend away from them. When you’re with your guy, your bestie misses your constant company. And when you’re with your fave girlie, your guy might wanna steal you away. Make an effort to give them both one-on-one time. And do ‘em a favor: Don’t text or chat with one while your with the other, OK?

Good luck!
 
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BY ALISSA SHELLER AND BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 1/26/2011 3:47:00 PM

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