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120 Comments | Add Yours

BFF trauma: How can I help her?

 

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My best friend was raped a few weeks ago. She discovered she was pregnant and decided to get an abortion. I understand her choice and respect her decision, but her parents don’t—they kicked her out of the house. She’s moved in with my family for now, but I don’t know what to do to help her. She’s really sad, and it kills me to see her like this. What can I do?

 

I’m so sorry about your friend.  Your friend is dealing with the aftermath of two traumatic events.  It is so generous that your family is allowing her live with you, and that you’re there for her when she needs a friend.

 

Lend an ear

Continue to comfort her and let her know that she can tell you anything.  Ask your parents if they’re comfortable with having your friend confide in them and if so, tell your friend that if she wants to talk to an adult, she can talk to your parents.

 

Get help

Right now, the best thing you can do for her is to be there for her and help her get professional guidance through this troubled time.  I would suggest to your friend to first talk to your school guidance counselor as a first step.  She can receive professional guidance and maybe even set up meetings with her parents to open the lines of communication.  The counselor could provide her with a list of professional counselors.   Give your friend the number of the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), to find a local counseling center. 
 
FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.
 

BY MADDIE BROWN ON 2/8/2011 11:22:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, good friend, how can I help my friend, dealing with depression, dealing with tragedy

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I agree with your Danerka. She didn't have to kill the baby. The girl didn't asked to get raped and the baby didn't ask to be created. It didn't have a choice. Getting an abortion doesn't make you un-pregnant, it only makes you the mother of a dead baby.

report

by mschultz8 on 3/31/2012 5:24:17 PM

 
 

Yes, it is horrible that she was raped-disgusting. The father should be charged so that she won't be scarred. As for the parents, they need to realize that she was the victim of something horrible and that she was innocent. About abortion: It is wrong, no matter what some people think. She didn't have to keep the baby, but she didn't have to kill it. She can give it up for adoption so that it will live a happy life and the family it lives with will have the great time of being with it.
Here are some questions:
Do you think murdering a bay is right?
Some people say it isn't alive, but it has a heartbeat within a month. What do you think about that?
What if you were adopted, but your parents had the choice to abort? What if your best friend was adopted? You you want them dead instead?
I feel VERY sorry for that girl. And, where did it say she was twelve?

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by Danerka on 3/2/2012 4:53:36 PM

 
 

I dont care what you guys think about, but she made the right choice getting an abortion, bcuz she is only 12. As for her parents kicking her out of the house, what total idiots!!! It wasnt her fault she got raped theres not much you can do when your only 12! As for you, i really think you made the right choice letting her stay at your house. oh and btw, i am christian and i think abortion is wrong but when your 12 its okay cuz u could die from giving birth 2 a child. best of luck!

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by shellyjelly on 1/31/2012 8:45:56 PM

 
 

WOW! that's so sad! i respect her choice but it's till very sad. i mean after what she has gone threw then kicked out?

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by izzygirl13 on 1/27/2012 5:45:58 PM

 
 

oh my gosh!!!! this is so terrible. if i were her i would get the abortion, because being a teen mother is just awful-sounding. i feel really bad for her.

i mean-

RAPED??!!

THROWN OUT OF HER HOUSE???!!!

that is horrible! if i had superpowers i would kill the guy who raped her and then . . . . um, i don't know what else i would do. oh- i got it.

give your friend a big hug and tell her that everything will be OK!

report

by 7200wolfgirl7200 on 11/6/2011 11:34:44 AM

 
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