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Awkward around bisexual friend


I have a close friend I’ve known for almost six years, and we are in eighth grade. She just told me she’s bisexual. She asked me if I’m OK with that. I don’t want to hurt her feelings and still want to be her friend, but it’s been awkward. I want to tell her how I feel.

Dear Friend is Bi,
 
So tell her. You could say, “Of course, I still respect and care about you, but I am confused, how did you realize you were bi?” She might reply, “it’s personal,” but she could welcome the chance to talk. In this millennium, kids are barraged by images of sexuality. Many teens announce they are bi (attracted to girls and guys) before they’ve kissed anybody at all. Perhaps girls shouldn’t rush to declare sexual learnings when sex is still such a long way off. Nonetheless, since your friend put herself out there, why not share your questions with her in a sensitive and non-judgmental way?

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 3/15/2011 7:00:00 AM

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MODMODMODMOD!!!!!!
I need advice! Can you help me with, um, knowing if i am bisexual? ! Is there a way to tell if you are? Thanxx xoxo, Momo

Hey girl,

Only you can figure that out, but you don't have to know now, and it can take a while to know yourself, so don't worry if you're confused -- that's totally normal! If you want to talk to someone about how you're feeling, you can speak with a guidance counselor or trusted adult. However you are is totally normal and awesome, and don't be worried if you don't know exactly what that is just yet!

Meghan D.

by MomoChick321 on 7/27/2012 10:14:23 PM

 
 

mod! ok, recently i got an email from my BFF saying she didn't want to be my friend anymore!! i have been homeschooled all my life (same with her) but i made the choice to go to school in the fall. i understand how that would upset her, but if roles were reversed i would still be her friend!! please help me know why in the world she would drop me as a friend! if it helps, she is 2 years younger than me. i feel really bad because i only have 2 friends now, a pair of homeschooled sisters. 1 and 4 years younger than me.

 

 

Hey girl. It stings now, but your friend is probably just a lil hurt. Don't push it and give her some time. Maybe she will come around. Either way you will make new friends at school!

 

mary h.

by margo1211 on 8/3/2011 9:16:10 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I'm straight. I have known this guy since we were 5 and we were really good friends. He developed really strong feelings for me, and I felt the same way. 6 months ago, we decided to try a relationship. It started out really good, I just loved being with him and doing fun stuff together. Then, something changed between us.About a month into our relationship,I found out that he is bisexual. Not from him, he doesn't know that I know this. I know that if I really loved him, this wouldn't bother me. But somehow it still did. It felt weird being with a guy that well, liked guys I guess.Even though he had all along. So I broke up with him,not giving him the reason, and it really hurt him. Since then our friendship has really suffered. Did I do the wrong thing? Is it okay to be with someone that isn't your sexuality like that? I'm just really confused!




Hey girl, ultimately, there's no right or wrong answer universally for that. It depends on the person and what they're comfortable with. It sounds like you had some major reservations there, and while you should've talked them out with him for safe measure, you made the choice that was best for your heart. Don't sweat it.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by skittlesarelove on 7/26/2011 9:44:40 PM

 
 

Hey girl,

It's really important that you talk to someone about this, and since you don't wanna talk to a parent, you should really talk to a guidance counselor or school nurse. They will be able to give you the help and advice that you need. 
Casey L.

by sarah1200 on 7/19/2011 2:53:21 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!
one of my BESTEST friends just told me about all these things she's going through, (divorce, her pets dieing, and her stepdad hitting her), and she's cutting herself because of it. My friend and I have been trying to get her to stop but she won't.School is out so I can't tell the guidance conseler and I don't know her parents that well so I can't tell them. She's also made me promise not to tell. I don't know what to do! Please help!




Check out our section on "Tough Stuff," preferably the section regarding self-injury: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx 




Brittany G. 



Brittany G.

by volleyball4lifee on 6/28/2011 7:51:33 PM

 
 

Honestly, why should it matter? Girls can love girls, boys can love boys, girls can love both, guys can love both. Love is love, you can't really change that. It's kinda stupid too to use the word "gay" or "lezbo" and maybe "bi" as insults(stupid, weird, etc..). Last time I checked, a person's personality is what counts, not sexuality.

by ToasterKisshuFanGirl97 on 6/15/2011 9:23:01 PM

 
 

I have a friend thats bi, and I kinda expected it, so I'm just fine with it. I've known her for years, and me and her other friend came together to get her through her issues with cutting. I would never abandon her, especially not now

by TwoDoorParamoreClub on 5/29/2011 3:39:21 PM

 
 

I'm bi and I only told 2 of my best friends and they were so nice about it and I feel like I'm gonna cry cause I'm so happy they aren't treating me different! It just makes me happy because I used to hate myself for being bi but then, I realized, if everyone really would have been better off with out me, I wouldn't have been born.

by Happygoluckycharms on 5/28/2011 2:10:05 PM

 
 



MOD MOD That is really freaky, I was just about to submit for help on a almost identical problem as that other girl.My friend thinks she is bi, but I do not really think she is. But I still want to support her, even though my religious beliefs conflict. How can I still be her friend without killing my religion.




Hey girlie -- just because it is not a part of your religion does not mean you can't be her friend. There are tons of people in this world who may not have the same beliefs as you, doesn't mean you can't be friends with them Smile




Brittany G. 




 




 
Brittany G.

by lena737 on 5/28/2011 10:40:57 AM

 
 

well i dont think you should judge her sexuallity i have lezbos and bi and gay friendz but i love dem and if u wanna be real dont sweat it if ur str8 shell understand ok she like va ge ge and we we oh wow juss dont be arkward round her

by cookiesgonewild on 5/19/2011 8:54:02 PM

 
 

i have a group of friends that i see alot and we've all known each other since we were one. one of my friends in that group is adopted and ever since she found that out her life has been going downhill. it started with the weight gaining ad it was coming on fast. recently she sat in my bed and the side split open! then she started dying her hair. Now, it's cut short adn dyed black, but she is changing it to a mohawk with a perm dispite her hairdresser telling her if she dyes her hair again, it will break off when she brushes it. Mood swings are never ending with her too, but one day there were scrapes all over her arms and I saw her piercing her nails into her skin. Her story was that she fell off of a slide. my friend read her diary mistaking it for her essay she wanted her to proof reaad adn in her diary she talked about how she was lesbian. she is always REALLY close to us adn on her facebook interests its "piercings adn tatoos" and "dying my hair" i'm just really worried for her

by baibai97 on 5/14/2011 11:31:55 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
hello, how is your evening? anywho, okay here's this sitch. my best friend.well, lets just say she isnt the prettiest person. she isnt fit and she is black (people at our school can be racist >.>) so that lowers her self esteem. she doesnt get much attention from guys or any girls (like in a girly way you know?). but me on the other hand. im NOT trying to sound conceited or anything i swear but, people give me more attention than her,girls and guys. so basically she is jealous of me. again, im not trying to sound conceited i really just dont know what to do when she gets jealous. she gets sad/mad and pretends everything is fine. plus, i have a boyfriend and she claims that she hated him even before we were together. my mom and i both decided she is just jealous that i have a bf. i need your help. idunno what to do. i always remind her how beautiful she is and pretty etc. but i guess its her weight that is bringing her down. any tips? thank you so much!







Hey chickadee! I'm sure this is really tough for you. And, you sound like a great friend! Maybe, you can try doing some fun, athletic activities, to help your friend get in shape? Rather than directing it at her, you could mention how you want to start a new fitness routine for summer, and ask if she'll join you, to help motivate you and make it more fun Smile

xxx
Becca G.

by ahoygeeoh! on 4/10/2011 10:36:12 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD! I'm lesbian but im not sure how to tell anyone that i am. you see i have feelings for a girl named Alicia and i think she likes me like that 2 but what if we do end up being you know an item and we get serious and she wants to meet my family? What should i do?




Hey girlie! You should talk to the person you are closest to in your family, as they can guide you on how to tell to tell everyone else Smile




Brittany G. 
Brittany G.

by mizpurple824 on 4/8/2011 11:03:59 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD please help. I have these two best friends and for the first two years of middle school we got along so well. This year everything has changed. They both have spent a lot of time together and don't invite me to things they do. Then they talk about how fun it was later. They also both have bfs who cause tons of drama; I just feel left out and want to cry. What should i do? This isn't the first time I've felt this way. Thanks!!

 

hey check this out: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2009/12/08/middle-friend-drama.aspx


 

 

 
Helen S.

by lucy408 on 4/1/2011 7:05:10 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Mod Mod Mod Mod Mod
I talked to my outside of school counslor about how I might come out to my friend(the woman who I like to dance with). And I realized that I'm afraid, confused,loving towards her, and angry with her too. I find that there is a wall between us that I had not seen there before. I'm a lesbian but she is for gay rights but against gay marriage. I wish to confront her but how? My counslor said that she thinks that I should just be myself and if I do hear my friend say something offensive,I can kindly call her out on it. By saying something like,"Hey, you are a church going Christian, where is your tolerance?" or "Be careful as to what you say,you know not as to whom you might offend." I wish to be closer to her as a friend but don't know how to confront her. HELP!!




Hey girl, I think that's a really touchy thing. I think should your friend say something insulting to you, you can lightly bring up that those words hurt, but I don't think that's something you need to rub in her face. Just be you. Remember, she likes you for that person and your sexuality doesn't change who that person is.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by Rozene on 3/31/2011 8:25:29 PM

 
 

Hey girls I give great advice on boys fashion makeup decoration and especially friends! If you need help with a different subject thats still okay! Comment on my profile and I will get back to you within a day. If its a question that needs research, I will look it up! Love, Anna!

by loveforever21 on 3/27/2011 7:24:09 PM

 
 

Bi or Not!

I have read that its sometimes confusing because of what our minds and bodies are going through during puberty and I have to agree with that.

If you like looking at other girls when they are naked does that maybe mean you could be bi? My friends and I have discussed this because in our group we have always talked about the bi test, meaning if you like looking at good looking guys when they are naked it probably means you arent bi and just like guys and their bodies but now I am not so sure because of what some of my close friends have recently said about what they like.

by luckykel on 3/27/2011 6:16:34 PM

 
 

mod mod mod Becca G thank you i have another question to add on if i become good friends with her my brithday is abuot two months away but today me and my mum were talking about my sleepiver n she was saying that its only my bffls can come ( i only have 4 friends no one else)and if i do come friends with her what about my brithday ? will i explain to my mum or what its so confussing thank you

 

 

Hey girly girl! I would talk to your mom about it and see if she'll make an acception. She'll probably be really proud of you for befriending this girl!

xxx

Becca G.

by Insideoutkid on 3/26/2011 7:18:07 PM

 
 

mod mod mod I noticed a girl had no one to talk to so on facebook i said hi n she said why her "friends" put out a romour she had lice and ive been though that sorta stuff(it wasnt lice) before so i said she can talk to me and hang with me but what if she does? n how do i get to know her better?

 

 

Hey girly girl! You're a really good person for reaching out to this girl. There should be more girls like you in the world! I'd invite her to hang out sometime. Maybe, invite her over to your house, or out to the movies one weekend Smile

xxx

Becca G.

by Insideoutkid on 3/26/2011 6:31:05 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
A month or 2 ago, i fell off of the monkey bars and hurt my knee. My knee really hurts now and its all purple and its sticking out and i have to run for track and stuff. and my parents wont take me t the doctor! what should i do? please help!
~Lola

 

Hey! When you go to school talk to your school nurse about what to do. good luck!

Helen S.

by JBfan97 on 3/26/2011 4:08:24 PM

 
 

Im bi , but I dont wannat tell my parents because we are Christians, me and my best friend are bi together, and we make out everyday before gym , what do I do??

by keelykong23 on 3/24/2011 11:52:33 PM

 
 

I need help !! Im 13 , and I reaaallyy like my best friend !! I wanna be bi , but I don't wanna tell my parents because we are Christians!! I make out with her every day before gym class, and we always wanna go further with each other, I really like her, but don't wanna come out to my parents, what do I do?!

by keelykong23 on 3/24/2011 11:50:54 PM

 
 

hey girl!
do you need someone to talk to?
confused about something?
sad about something?
mad about something?
even happy about something?
do you want another friend?

well, you must've said yes to at lest one of these questions! so what are you waiting for?!?
come on and click on my name to come to the most SAVVY profile on GL!!!!!!!

Mwah!


-Savvy

by savvylula on 3/21/2011 10:20:03 PM

 
 

I was listening to someone I respect talk about being bi and she was saying that when people are young its easier to think you may be bi because our bodies and minds are going through puberty. And since we start to think about sexual things and our sexuality around now that its sometimes easier to think about something we are familiar with, which is the female body.

Part of that may be true because I have friends who just think guys are gross and their bodies and their 'down there' is just weird looking but that could be because they arent as familiar with it. So when one of my friends was concerned she was bi because she wasnt as attracted to guys, I listened, but since she has gotten a bf she doesnt feel that way anymore.

by luckykel on 3/17/2011 11:20:27 AM

 
 

I have a friend who's bi and it bothered me a little at first but I got over it also it's not something you just start or stop being either you are or you aren't

by harpgirl on 3/16/2011 9:47:43 PM

 
 

I think its kind of bad to generalize like that (in the answer). I have many LGBT friends and family members, and I don't think I have ever known anyone who has declared themselves to be a sexuality without being 100% sure. She is still your friend. Remember, just because she is attracted "in that way" to your gender, doesn't mean she is attracted to you in that way. Are you romantically attracted to every guy you meet? I think you should have an honest talk with her, but get informed first. There are many places with great information on LGBT subjects such as GLSEN and PFLAG. Best of luck!

by The_Lorax on 3/16/2011 9:31:48 PM

 
 

For me{I am bi btw}I thought about it for years. Ever since I was 12 I thought"Could I be attracted to girls too?" I had friends who are bi and have dated the same sex{and some are still together!}before also.It took me a long time because I would always deny it and say "I'm straight and I don't mind if you're bi.I just can't see myself with another girl."I've had a few homosexual and bi friends so I was pretty used to having them around. They aren't really different at all they just prefer the same sex.I understood some people would say they are bi b/c they thought it was cool and that's why I didnt want tell anyone b/c they would think it was a trend. I even talked to some of my bi-friends about me questioning my sexuality. I had to seriously think about it alone before deciding "Hey I really wouldn't mind having a female or male as a partner in life." U shuld tlk 2 ur friend bcuz she mite b going thru a tough time bcuz sum ppl think bi ppl r attrctd 2 evry prson of the sme sex thy c

by Music Luver on 3/16/2011 3:12:05 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
There is a group of me and my friends, there is five of us me, Mia, Anna, Britney, and Sarah. Mia's dad is getting remarried in a couple weekends. Mia was talking last week about how boring the reception would be so Sarah (they are super super tight) and Anna said maybe she should ask her dad if we could come. I walked over at this point in the conversation so i heard all of this. Mia asked her dad and he said she could bring only three friends to the reception. Of course Sarah, but she also invited Anna and Me. The problem is Britney doesn't know we are going to the wedding reciption. Mia's dad won't let her invite one more to Britney cant go. Britney is one of my bffs and super sweet she gets hurt easily sometimes. I don't know if i should tell her about the wedding or if i do she could take it REALLY offensively. What should i do?? Help please.




Hey girlie. Try to think about it this way. Does she really need to know? Maybe if anyone should tell her, it should be Mia so she can explain why she couldn't invite everyone. Good luck. 
Marly Z.

by allamericanrejectsgirl on 3/16/2011 2:36:42 PM

 
 

I think that the girl who says she's bi should know better than you if she is or not. Just saying. And you don't have to kiss a girl to be attracted to them. When I told my two best friends that I'm bi, they asked if I had a crush on them. That was a little annoying, because it's not as if I'm immediately attracted to every girl I see.

by GoldenGirl113 on 3/16/2011 12:12:44 PM

 
 

Hey, girls! Do you need advice? Well, I give advice on everything:
Boys
Friends
Family
School
Dealing with mean girls
Money making ideas
Gift ideas
Fashion
Beauty
Jobs
Serious issues
Body issues
Fitness
Eating right
Tough stuff
Singing
Acting
And anything else you can think of! And if I can't answer your question, I'll try to point you to someone who can. So if you need help now, leave a comment on my profile. I promise to get back to you ASAP. And I come on GL usually at least once a day, so I'll get back to you pretty soon.

by supersingershannon on 3/15/2011 7:58:13 PM

 
 

She tells you shes bi? So what? You don't have to make this a big drama production. Welcome to 2011, I don't see the big deal. At first it was all shocking and awkward, but now I just see it as a phase or a way to get attention from peers until the person is maybe out of college I would believe them. No offense intended, but a lot of people have been lying about this (at my school once or twice) and I'm not pointing anyone out for I know none on here, I'm not anti whatever nor am I roaring from the roof tops with pro this and that signs. That's all. It's my opinion.Tong

by i_luv_devin on 3/15/2011 7:38:58 PM

 
 

Just talk to her about it. It's not ackward unless you make it that way. You need to understand that just because she likes girls, she isn't attracted to every girl she meets, as you aren't throwing yourself at every guy you see.

by musictheatregeek7 on 3/15/2011 7:21:00 PM

 
 

i think at first it would be awkward but it would get better with time Smile

by Kristin95 on 3/15/2011 7:06:30 PM

 
 

One of my friends is Bi I was a lil creeped out at first but now I'm ok with it.

by Randafanna2 on 3/15/2011 7:03:44 PM

 
 

don’t stop being friends with her just because she’s bi. sexuality doesn’t change who she is.

by chicabanana on 3/15/2011 6:33:51 PM

 
 

ya def talk to her about it.

hey girlies come to my profile if you need advice or want to give some! Smile

by mrslautner2016 on 3/15/2011 5:49:55 PM

 
 

I used to be bi, but I'm not anymore. Girls, they're just like us. Please don't treat them differently!!

by HarryPotterFanClub on 3/15/2011 4:34:50 PM

 
 

I would say that the only way you are going to feel better around her is if you sit down with her and talk about how you feel. (I know ick but trust me it'll help) Tell her that you don't feel entirly comfortable with what she told you. Hopefully she will be happy to answer any questions that you have. Most importantly know that her likeing girls is no different than any crush you have on a boy. Remember to be sensetive to her feelings, and stay open minded.

-AdviceGirly
(please visit my website at www.advicegirly263.blogger.com Smile )

by advicegirly263 on 3/15/2011 4:34:42 PM

 
 

My advice would be to talk to her about it. DO NOT try to change her or tell her it's just a phase. Remember, this doesn't change who she is.

by pamina9 on 3/15/2011 12:28:40 PM

 
 

my best friend told me a few months ago that she was bi. it doesn't bother me, whenever i see her i don't even think of it. she is soo awesome!

by SuperSquirrel on 3/15/2011 7:32:36 AM

 
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