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50 Comments | Add Yours

Tired of the trash talk


 

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One of my friends has been talking trash about everyone in our crew, including me. She’s nice to me face-to-face, but then she starts badmouthing me to our other friends when I’m not around. She clearly doesn’t like me. How do I get rid of her?

Dear Tired of It,
She clearly doesn’t like you? All that’s clear is she likes to gossip. And now the rest of you are talking about her behind her back, too. This behavior among groups of friends is normal, but mean-spirited gossip can be destructive. Instead of trying  to get rid of your friend, can you help her change her ways? Next time she wants to trash someone nice, say, “Nobody’s perfect, but I like her, so I don’t want to criticize her.” Kindness beats cruelty every time. And next time the girls want to dish, pick a celeb or dissect a character in a new movie or book. The world can be hard enough – friends should support friends.

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/10/2011 8:00:00 AM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, dear carol solves BFF probs, group, dealing with gossip

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MOD MOD MOD
My BFF Julia is kind of mean. Whenever I bring someone up she says "Oh I hate her" or "Oh he's so ugly" or something like that, and its really annoying because I can never just talk to her! What should I do? Please help!
Karley




Hey girlie, tell her that it bothers you when she does that. If you don't tell her then she'll never know, and if she gets upset about it then she's probably not worth being friends with anyway. 
Lauren T.

report

by JBfan97 on 6/30/2011 6:10:13 PM

 
 



MOD
Before summer when I was in school, I noticed I only had about four close friends in my school, and that most of my friends don't go to my school.When I try to make new friends, they assume I'm a nerd and just ignore me. The truth is: I care about my grades, but I also love sports! Is there any way for me to make new friends over the summer/next year...? 




hey! check this out: http://www.girlslife.com/tag/new-school.aspx 
Helen S.

report

by iRokkin on 6/22/2011 4:28:47 PM

 
 




MOD MOD MOD
I have this friend and, in the nicest way possible, she's a crybaby. she told me how she had an awesome life b4 ths year and now shes been crying about the stupidest things like hiw she didnt get ribbon on field day, and everyone started comforting her. I had an aweful life b4 this year - i was teased, ignored, and i didnt have many friends, and even now, when i have more, everyone seems to be more concerned about her than me. for example, i had pulled a muscle in my leg on field day and only one person helped me while everyone else was comforting my friend about how she didnt get a third place ribbon during relays. im jealous of her, and i feel ignored, espeacially since im insecure about that type of stuff because of the last few years, and today at lunch i said so, but now my friend and her bff (also my friend) wont talk to me. i think they hate me, but i dont know how to approach them. i wasnt being mean - i was explaining my feelings. what should i do?




hey! I think you should tell them what you just told me about sharing your feelings. tell them that you're sorry if what you said hurt them and that that was never your intention. if they're still mad after that then all you can do it wait for it to blow over, which I'm sure it will. Good luck girl!
Helen S.

report

by lilifrog on 6/17/2011 5:09:43 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
Okay well, my friend has been saying weird things to me. Like she asks me if I'm pregant, and I say "NO! Where did you get that from? Are you calling me fat?" She says no and she says because I have big boobs. She also said that when I said my little brother's friend called me hot. I've asked her to stop many times, but she won't listen! What can I do?





Hey girl! If she has small boobs she may just be jealous. Sit her down, just the two of you, and tell her that it makes you super self conscious when she says things like that. If she still says it, then the next time just stick out your chest and be proud! Say something like, "I know! They're great right!" Love your boobs! No matter what the size! Your BFF will be shocked and she won't see commenting on your boob size as a diss anymore, and you shouldn't take it as one. It's a compliment. Your boobs are an asset and you'll soon realize that Smile Good luck babe!
Jess W.

report

by AvatarTLA on 6/17/2011 2:21:54 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!1
2 questions sooo.... 1)ok, so me and my bff have been friends for a little over a year. we were close last year, but since this year we don't have many classes together, we've sort of drifted. she met a bunch of new friends, and so have i, but it's just been awkward between us. i've tried to hang out with her but she's usually doing something. i don't know what went wrong, but i really miss her and i'm not sure what to do... 2) i've been on-and-off friends with this other girl since 3rd grade. we had a lot of fun for the past 2 years, but lately she's been lying directly to my face, to teachers, and to other friends. how can i tell her to stop? lol srry for so much writing... thanks for your time!!!
~~MCLY <3




Hey girl!

1) Tell her exactly that--that you miss her and want to spend more time together. Remind her of all the fun you two used to have and suggest planning a fun weekend activity that you guys can do together, maybe even something you've done together in the past. 2) Without coming off too strongly or aggressively, tell her that you know she's been lying and you just wanna know why she's doing it. Explain that you like her for who she already is and she doesn't need to lie to prove anything to you or anybody else. You can also say how much it hurts you when she lies because you're being completely honest with her, and you just want her to do the same. Hope that helps! x0x0 
casey l.

report

by MCLY1222<3 on 6/16/2011 4:53:50 PM

 
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