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Tired of the trash talk


 
One of my friends has been talking trash about everyone in our crew, including me. She’s nice to me face-to-face, but then she starts badmouthing me to our other friends when I’m not around. She clearly doesn’t like me. How do I get rid of her?

Dear Tired of It,
She clearly doesn’t like you? All that’s clear is she likes to gossip. And now the rest of you are talking about her behind her back, too. This behavior among groups of friends is normal, but mean-spirited gossip can be destructive. Instead of trying  to get rid of your friend, can you help her change her ways? Next time she wants to trash someone nice, say, “Nobody’s perfect, but I like her, so I don’t want to criticize her.” Kindness beats cruelty every time. And next time the girls want to dish, pick a celeb or dissect a character in a new movie or book. The world can be hard enough – friends should support friends.

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/10/2011 8:00:00 AM

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MOD
I have 2 best friends, and lets call them A & M. I have another friend, K and she invited A&M to her house this coming thursday without me and I'm really good friends with K too. They were also going to come to K's house last week but they couldn't because of a tornado warning. A&M never ask me to go with them or ask K to invite me, but they always talk about plans days after and before their plans, they always talk so excitedly about it. It feels like they don't even think acknowledge me to come along, and i barely hang out with JUST A&M alone. It makes me feel left out. Today, in a way that wasn't too much, I asked M if she could ask K if she could invite me to her house to go swimming too. What do you think I should do? Talk to them about it? I feel like if i talk to them about it, K will think I'm forcing her to invite me, which I don't want to do but it would be appreciated.




Hey girlie,

You can't do much to get K to invite you - like you said, you don't want to force her to do it if she doesn't want to! Instead, why not try inviting A&M to hang out with you more often? Take action instead of just sitting around and you'll not only become closer to your besties, but you might give K the idea that she should get closer to you as well. It might not solve the problem you're talking about - you might not get to swim in K's pool or "crash" their hangout time every time - but at least this way you won't feel bad because you're getting plenty of hangout time yourself!
Lauren C.

by ifreakinloveeyou on 6/6/2011 5:06:40 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! One of my friends has been trash talking a few of the girls in my group. We tried to talk about it but she just denied everything. It turned into a HUGE fight on facebook. I feel horrible about what I said but I still think what she did was wrong. What do I do?!

 

Hey girly, that's very mature of you to feel bad about what you said, even though the person you said it to was rude. You can always apologize to this person through a short message on Facebook or text. Smile

LYnae P.

by Madi<3purplestamm on 6/4/2011 8:52:18 PM

 
 

I vent one time to my best friend about this girl who was getting on my nerves, and worrying me.
Well, I was accused of lying to her and starting a rumor.
Lost 4 friends that day.

by thetruth on 6/4/2011 5:34:49 PM

 
 



MOD! MOD! Okay, so theres this one girl who has always been trying to be friends with me since elementary school and I just Can't be friends with her! She annoys me and drives me up a wall! She's really childish too, but that's not the problem she is VERY she has none what so ever consideration for other people and I can't stand people like that! I don't want to be her friend, so this year I tried to stop, but now she thinks that were like BEST FRIENDS! and we are not! I really need some advice to tell or do something to get her to know i don't want to be friends with her! I've tried to kinda of avoid her and tell her i'm busy, but one time I didn't feel like talking to her, so i didn't pick up the phone, but she called back 12 TIMES! It drives my family and me up a wall! So please don't tell me to try to work everything out, because I don't want to and I can see no future in the friendship! I'm not trying to be harsh either. Sorry It was so long! Please help me though! I need Help!!!




Hey girlie--tell her you don't want to be her friend.




Brittany G. 
Brittany G.

by opalbell on 6/4/2011 12:06:36 AM

 
 



MOD!!!
I've been having some issues at school at first I didnt really care but now I do! See last week there was an issue with 2 people and my teacher asked what happened obviously I wasnt going to lie so I told my teacher what happened. The 2 people got in a ton of trouble then they started calling me a snake and a whole bunch of other mean stuff. Im scared to talk to someone about it because people might call me a snake and stuff again. I also have no friends to confide in because everyone has turned on me I dont get it I did nothing wrong!!! any advice?




Hey girlie--the best thing you can do is to hold your head up through the situation. People are always going to be upset when they get caught doing something wrong and soon they will get over it. Until then, ignore them because you did the right thing. If push comes to shove, talk to someone. They are already expressing their opinions about you, so why should it matter what else they have to say. You shouldn't be losing sleep when you did the commendable thing. 




Brittany G.

Brittany G. Helen S.

by dragonbee on 6/3/2011 7:37:28 PM

 
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