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Tired of the trash talk


 
One of my friends has been talking trash about everyone in our crew, including me. She’s nice to me face-to-face, but then she starts badmouthing me to our other friends when I’m not around. She clearly doesn’t like me. How do I get rid of her?

Dear Tired of It,
She clearly doesn’t like you? All that’s clear is she likes to gossip. And now the rest of you are talking about her behind her back, too. This behavior among groups of friends is normal, but mean-spirited gossip can be destructive. Instead of trying  to get rid of your friend, can you help her change her ways? Next time she wants to trash someone nice, say, “Nobody’s perfect, but I like her, so I don’t want to criticize her.” Kindness beats cruelty every time. And next time the girls want to dish, pick a celeb or dissect a character in a new movie or book. The world can be hard enough – friends should support friends.

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website:  carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/10/2011 8:00:00 AM

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MOD!
How do you send in a Q for Carol?




Hey, you can send in a question to her here: http://www.girlslife.com/Contact.aspx?t=advice

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by fudgemonkey on 6/3/2011 12:37:51 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
okay so i have a problem with caring about what others think of me! Last night my best friend was at my house and she told me people asked her if we were best friends multiple times. and now i'm thinking that they think we are gay! please help me not care about what others think of me! thanks ;)

 

Hey girl,

It takes time to get to the point where you don't care about what others think. But just stay true to yourself and never pass up an opportunity to do something because you are afraid of people saying things and surround yourself with people who love you and accept you for who you are.

 

danielle D.




danielle D.

by Gigilove321 on 6/2/2011 8:05:40 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I tried posting this before but it didn't work.
I am having problems with my best friends. Last year my group of friends decided they hated me for absolutely no reason so this year I made a hung of new friends. I always ask them If they can hang out but they always say try can't because of family, sports, vacation, being groused etc and I understand that they can't hang out everytime but they NEVER hang out with me. I know that they aren't always busy because I see pictures of my BFFs on Facebook having sleep overs without me Frown I want to know why they won't hang out with me! And the rare times when all my friends are getting together, I have to practically invite myself!!! I don't want to make all new friends again so what can I do?! another example is that tomorrow we have a field trip at school and I keep asking my friends if they'll sit net to me on the bus but they're all saying they already have someone to sit by Frown help please ASAP!!!




Hey Girl,




Friendship can be tough, can't it? It seems like your new buds are giving you a bad vibe. The best advice I can give you is to join some sort of extracurricular activity or club. As tough as it is to start fresh, it's better than catering to rude people who are don't value your friendship like they should.




 
Kelly H.

by SugarCookies on 6/1/2011 11:44:41 PM

 
 

MOD please Smile
I'm having trouble with my friends. None of them can ever hang out with me Frown I understand that sometimes people have things to do but every single time I try to schedule something with them they always can't because of sports or family or vacation or they're grounded. They also never ask me to do anything. If I want to come along somewhere on the rare days people are getting together, I have to practically invite myself!!! But I know my friends do do things outside of sports and such because I'll see pictures on Facebook of a few of my BFFs having a sleepover without me Frown I can't get new friends, because I just made all new friends this year since last year all my BFFs decided to hate me for no reason. Another example: tomorrow we are going on a field trip and I have no "bus buddy" because my best friends all have partners already. Please help!!! I'm desperate!!! Frown

 

Hey girl,

I know it is tough. I would have a talk with your friends and say " I love hanging out with you girls, but it seems like we can never hang out. I know you are busy, but when people do get together, I seem to be excluded and I would really like to hang out with you guys."  Hopefully this will help.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by SugarCookies on 6/1/2011 11:26:32 PM

 
 

my friends are always busy ALL THE TIME and it makes me feel like a loner girl cuz im always stuck at home on the weekend. they all have hobbies and never have time to hang out at the mall or go to the movies or anything. i have tried making friends with other people too but they are busy to. and the thing is whenever i try to schedule a date to hang out, they blow it off in the end because of their hobby! help i need to stop being such a "loner" appreciate it- cassidy ;)

by ilygemia on 6/1/2011 4:36:20 PM

 
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