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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

My parents only care about good grades


 
All my parents care about are grades. Last report card, I got a C in math. I thought they were going to kill me. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. My mom is not as bad as my dad. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings.

Dear Sick of It,
If you want to tell them how you feel but can’t do it in a conversation, write it in a note. Did you get a good grade they forgot to praise? Say so. Tell them you want to hear when they’re proud, not just when they’re disappointed. But remember that they care about your education because they care about you and your future.

Might it help if you got a math tutor? Maybe a high school student can bring you up to speed over the summer, without charging too much. Your math teacher or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone. It is hard to excel in school when you feel pressure on all sides. But psych yourself up now for getting off to a strong start in September. Plan to move up to the front row, keep an organized assignment pad, find a quiet place to work, do your best, and your grades will go up, guaranteed. Not only will your parents be pleased, but you’ll feel good about it too.
 
SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.
For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 5/19/2011 9:00:00 AM

POSTED IN , , ,

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37 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 



MOD
i have no profile pic
i want one but i don't know how to put it
How do u put a pic on my profile?




Go to "MY ACCOUNT" on the right sidebar. Then, where it says My Avatar, upload the pic you want to use. (Remember: you CANNOT use personal pics of yourself/other people. That's against GL rules!) 
Lauren C.

by smileygirl555 on 11/12/2011 9:39:56 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
i might get glasses because i didn't pass the schools
vision test.
i don't wanna look like nerd
i think some bigger kids will make fun of me MOD




Hey girl,

First off, you can't do anything to permanently improve your vision now - foods, exercises, and other "tricks" just won't work. If you're having trouble seeing, the BEST thing to do is embrace the fact that you can fix it with glasses! Remember that you don't need to get "nerdy" glasses. There are a lot of really cool frames out there for you to choose - personally, I have a pair of roundish brown glasses that totally give me a hipster/rock vibe when paired with the rest of my wardrobe! It's all about the way you carry yourself. Think about it - I've seen Justin Bieber, Kendall Jenner, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Lauren Conrad, Anne Hathaway, Joe Jonas, Kirsten Dunst, and Justin Timberlake wearing glasses! And they walk with confidence, so they totally pull it off. Just remember to act confident yourself and you'll be just fine.




Plus, once you use glasses for a while you might be able to try contacts, which correct your vision without glasses. You just need to make sure you're able to put them in/take them out, plus that you're responsible enough to clean them/store them/take them out each night like the doctor suggests Smile It's an option for sure! Most days, I wear contacts instead of glasses and love them. 
Lauren C.

by smileygirl555 on 11/12/2011 9:24:27 PM

 
 

Well unfortunatly that stinks and there is not too much to do about it. My advice to you is to tell them the next time they praise you on a good grade how you feel and why. If they yell at you tell them I didnt want to ruin the conversation I just wanted to mention it. Also, like Carol said maybe staple the letter you write to them on your bad grade and tell them that you did your best but you needed help. Ask them for help and go from there! If there are any other questions just post it on my wall. Thanks and Love Always-ABBY(=

by AbbyRae on 9/20/2011 5:02:37 PM

 
 

CHECK OUT MY PROFILE!!!! ASK ME ANYTHING! I PROMISE TO GET BACK TO YOU ASAP(I get on gl like, every other hour or so)!!!! THANKS!!!

by softballismyBFF on 8/9/2011 12:23:32 PM

 
 

@bieberlove586 Hey, sounds like you have a pretty balanced life- good for you! You managed to keep your excellent grades up, have awesome friends, and guys adore you! I'd say you're well off. Don't take it down a notch; what you explained sounded great! Keep up the good work, chica Smile If you need anymore advice, come to my Advice Queen page. (ILoveBigTimeRush1)

by ILoveBigTimeRush1 on 8/4/2011 8:22:52 PM

 
 

@prettytough14:
I think it would be better to get different binders! Tht might be what I'm going to do. A lot of people did that at my school last year, nd it seemed like it really worked! Hope that helped a little.

by Abagepatch on 7/24/2011 9:42:40 PM

 
 

I have the exact same problem but my mom is the one who cares more. I broke down crying because she couldn't see if from my point of view. She called me unorganized and things like that. I totally understand where your coming from and give you my best wishes and 100% support!

by brietta42 on 7/22/2011 12:29:50 AM

 
 

my parents want me to get good grades and i have nevr gotten less than an a- on ANY reportcard... im friends with popular girls and guys like me and all, but am i missing out on stuff??? should i take it back a notch or am i okay the way i am?? PLEASE I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE!!!!!

by bieberlover586 on 7/18/2011 1:34:41 PM

 
 

Hey, I'm going to be a freshman this next year and I was wondering if it would be better to have one binder per core class or just a folder per class. Thx

by prettytough14 on 7/9/2011 4:59:09 PM

 
 

Well, you can always try harder. And if you don't, then it's sometimes your fault, and not your mom's. Sorry to burst your bubble, though!

~Jessie~

by Jgard224 on 7/2/2011 9:52:19 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MODDDD My mom keeps expecting me to be the one that's 10 times better than anyone. Like if i get a B+ or a A- she'll start asking me why i did it then give me a huge lecture on how i can do better and what will happen if i don't get good grades know how'll i just some other person who has ok grades and did ok in life, but could have done a lot better. Then i asked her why she didn't say the same thing to my sister and she replied because i could do better in life. Which is what she says anytime i ask her why. So that made me feel special for awhile but then she started ignoring me and the only time she would pay attention is when she saw something that could "ruin my future". Now i just feel she's just trying to take out her anger on me, so what should i do?




Helen S.

by Hale Luver on 6/24/2011 7:10:29 PM

 
 

Mod MOD MOD MOD MOD I am going to high school next year, and i am scared because we got our schedules today and me and my friends aren't in the same classes together and this really annoying girl who thinks i'm friends with her is in my classes. My best friend and i are really scared we won't see eachother, and she doesn't have a phone so we can't text, and i will have cross country 6 days a week in the fall, so we wont be able to hang out of school that much. What do i do?

Hey girly,
The first thing you should do is realize that you will have to work hard in order to keep your friendships strong this year. Try to pick a time where all of you can hang outside of school. Also, do you have lunch together? Then sit together. As for your friend not having a cell, there is nothing wrong with calling her house to chat every once and a while. If you work hard and remember to be flexible, you and your friends will still have an awesome year together.


Catie C.

by haleyhay3 on 6/22/2011 2:48:05 PM

 
 

Need a mod here!

I have a habit of drawing during class. Because of this, I got Cs in Geometry and Chemistry, and a D in English. My parents think I'm some extremeley-uber-ridiculously-smart-valedictorian-type girl when I'm a B student. So, as you can guess, they freaked out on me and won't stop guilt tripping me over my bad grades. That's not the only problem. My drawings are concerning them too. I usually draw men with giant guns and other weapons or somebody dying. I also must add that these drawings are in full detail and sometimes in color. My parents think that I need counseling now when I'm really just an artist being an artist. How do I get them to stop yelling at me for my grades and to convince them that I don't need therapy for what I draw? (Sorry this message is so long)

by darcyaranea on 6/15/2011 12:57:42 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD I need your help please okay so I wanted to be on the tennis team next year and my mom was going to let me, until my grades came in. She knew I was having a hard time in geometry and I failed 2nd semester. When she saw she said I wasn't allowed to play. But I really want to and I already missed out on 2 practices for the tryouts. Plus I cant play if my grades are bad so what do it tell her?

Hey girly,
You need to have a good heart to heart with your mom to figure this all out. Give her the reasons why you think you should be playing in a way that is really calm and mature. Listen to what she has to say and be prepared to compromise. Good Luck!


Catie C.

by iluvnerds10 on 6/8/2011 4:26:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MODDDDDDDD!
Okay so today I brought home my report card. I had planned a sleepover a week before,and my mom said yes to it because she loves all my friends. But on my report card I got A+'s on everything EXEPT on math and reading. On reading I got a F and on Math a C-. When she saw that she said she hate me because last term(s) I only got A+'s. She called off my sleepover today and said that she hates all my stupid friends! What do I tell her?




hey! calmly talk things through with her and come to an understanding together that you can both live with Smile 




 
Helen S.

by ~.~_DD_is_the_best_~.~ on 6/3/2011 8:09:34 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD
So for half of our last quarter grade, we had to do a report that included a presentation and an essay. My teacher gave me a 100% in everything but took off a quarter of my presentation grade leaving me a 90/100 total. This guy who I proofread his report also got a 90/100 as did 20 out of the 25 people in my class. That guy only had 3 out of the 5 required paragraphs in his essay, his whole essay was half a page long, had no bibliography, and his presentation was 6 sentences long. I worked for 3 hours on my project with a ten slide ppt, 3 page essay and complete bibliography. Many of the people in my class r similar to that guy yet we all got the same grade. When I asked my teacher why she took off so much for my presentation she said I had more potiential and I should have tried harder. I think she is being completely unfair and biased(she has done this to me before) should I talk to her or just leave it?
sry it's so long Tong

 

Hey chica! I think if you're really upset about your grade, you should confront your teacher in a way that simply asks what you could do better for the next project. As for the guy, I wouldn't worry too much about it. He might have gotten away with it this time but he can't slack off forever!

Chelsea B.

by Love.hannah on 6/1/2011 6:13:24 PM

 
 

I can sooo relate to this! I can't brimg home anything less than a A-.

by juicypeach09 on 5/30/2011 4:03:17 PM

 
 

I totally understand what you're going through Smile it's okay, you're not alone

by babygirlk on 5/25/2011 11:53:17 PM

 
 

modmodmod!! ok so im in a similar sitch.. but my perents pass everything off like its nothing.. last year i moved to this new school but it seems like a prison, i started failing math because its harder and last month my perents said i cant get a job when i'm 14 or learn to drive when i'm sixteen unless i get strait a's starting next year, i used to be a's and b's but they raised the bar and i've never gotten strait a's before.. and they refuse to let me move my desk out if the garage into my room so i have no where to work... they refuse to hear me out and act like i'm a stupid six year dreaming of being a princess when i try to talk to them.... help!!! i have plans for my future and they're very rational and actually very small compared to what im able to do, im a very advanced student, i read on a high school reading level in fourth grade, i glide by without trying, i go into eigth grade next year and turn 13 this summer, my perents still treat me like i'm my 8 year old brother!

 

 

Hey girly girl! The best way to get your parents to treat you like an adult is to prove to them that you can do it. Do whatever it takes to do well in school... stay after and ask for help, and talk to your teacher about what you can do to bring up your grades. Once your rents see that you're making a big effort, then they'll respect that and maybe give you some more freedoms. Smile

xxx

Becca G.

by cammybellpoptart on 5/22/2011 8:45:28 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
This is kind of an weird question but here it is. I was addicted to internet porn (gay porn) and only stopped because I figured out my computer has a program (windows live family safety) that shows every site you've been to. I know my parents might find out but I am SO scared to just tell them. I know they will treat me like an outsider and never trust me. How do I delete the program or tell them?




I think you should stop looking at those websites so they dont pop up anymore. As for the record thats already there theres not much you can do about it. I say dont worry about the issue. If your parents come to you about it then talk about it. But for now youve stopped watching it so just forget the issue. xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

by paipailarz on 5/22/2011 4:40:32 PM

 
 

Dear Sick Of It

I totally understand! My parents usually act like that
and my mum is ALWAYS comparing me to other girls in my class! I get so freaked out when i get a bad mark ( with my
dad , im actually scared of him at times ) and he acts like
he wants to kill me. I got a D+ in my maths test one time
and he went nuts , he raised his hand like he was going to
slap me , but he didnt becuase my mum is always there for me , its horrible when they dont listen to you about your feelings instead of skl and ur grades. Maybe talk to a really close friend of yours or another adult? If you ever feel sad again , you can always talk to them , good luck and im sure one day they will start to listen Smile xxxx

by xxDannyxx on 5/21/2011 9:05:33 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
i have a condition that turns my legs purple with splotches. its not contagious or deadly, but i feel self- conscious about it when i wear shorts? do you know anything that canr aise my self-esteem? id appreciate it!

 

Hey chicky!

Unfortunately, I do not know too much about your condition. I would talk to your parents or doctor to see if there are any medical solutions to helping cover up your condition. Don't forget that most people will be looking up at your face when they are hanging out with you and no one will care about your legs. From a fashion standpoint, you can find some cute bermuda or capri shorts to wear, and long maxi dresses and skirts are HUGE this summer. At the end of the day though, remember that people care about what your personality is and how you treat them, rather than the way you look.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by livver on 5/20/2011 7:16:04 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!
THERE IS THIS GUY NAMED ERIC AND ONE DAY HE CALLED ME A CRY BABY, STUPID, ANNOYING AND TOLD MY EX "DUDE! I CANT BELIEVE CHU WENT OUT WITH HER MAN!!" AND ONE DAY HE PUNCHED ME AND MADE ME FALL OUT OF MY SEAT!! AT MY SCHOOL WE CAN FILL OUT BULLY REPORTS THAT REPORT THAT SOMEONE IS A BULLY. BUT I DO AND DONT WANT TO FILL ONE OUT
DO-HE DESERVES A PUNISHMENT
DONT-HE MIGHT GET MAD AT ME AN HURT ME EVEN MORE!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO???!!!




Hey girl, I think you should fill out one of those reports if he punched you. Talk to a guidance counselor and ask your name be kept anonymous (you could even get a friend to fill one out for you). What this guy is doing isn't right, and chances are he's doing this to more than just one person. Don't let behavior like this slip as if it's acceptable. It's not and will never be.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by ebrock1234509876 on 5/19/2011 10:38:11 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
Tomorrow is my class elections. I'm running for president of the eighth grade and I've written so many speeches, but they're all super serious and boring. I'm good at writing stuff teachers will like, but I'm having a really hard time making it funny and light so students will like it too. No one at my house wants to help (they say they aren't good at that stuff). My slogan is Party With Madison and I handed out party favors and have balloons everywhere. What could I say at the begiining of my speech that's funny and goes with my slogan? Thanks@!!!!!




Hey girl, I'd find an inside joke or tell a funny or fun story and then tie it into a change you want to make. The best and most effective candidates are ones who appeal to humor and make themselves human so their electorate can relate with them.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by thecupcakequeen on 5/19/2011 10:20:56 PM

 
 

MOD
My dad really wants me to be on the swim team, but I hate swimming. Every practice he says how I could have done better and when I told him that I don't want to swim, he just said "Yes you do." What should I do?




Hey, Girl! Sorry for the “stock” message. We’re psyched you’re here but since this is a super busy time, mods aren’t able to answer personal advice or contest questions. We’re approving your comments now so the girls can start offering feedback right away! If you still have questions, please come back, we’re happy to help…or just let the other chicas answer now! (They give awesome advice, trust us!) Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes 
Alyssa B.

by shootforthemoon17 on 5/19/2011 7:48:29 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Ok. So there is a boy at my school that annoys me. He tells me I'm bossy and stupid. I'm on the verge of crying. He's just so mean to me and I don't do anything to him. What should I do?




Hey, Girl! Sorry for the “stock” message. We’re psyched you’re here but since this is a super busy time, mods aren’t able to answer personal advice or contest questions. We’re approving your comments now so the girls can start offering feedback right away! If you still have questions, please come back, we’re happy to help…or just let the other chicas answer now! (They give awesome advice, trust us!) Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes 
Alyssa B.

by borninjune on 5/19/2011 6:39:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My friend and I were really close since the beginning of sixth grade. We sort of grew apart this year because we stopped paying much attention to each other and I don't like some of the decisions she makes (texting in class, using the F-word a lot, making out with her bf in front of everyone), etc. She also is really obsessed with Lady Gaga and since I honestly don't care THAT much about Gaga, I know it sounds lame but sometimes I feel like we can't connect because of that. Also, she used to cut and I want to know how she's doing. But, we really don't talk much and she doesn't seem like she wants to reconnect with me. We've had a few fights this year too that we didn't really resolve. Any advice would be awesome; thanks so much!
<33 Mackenzie




Hey, Girl! Sorry for the “stock” message. We’re psyched you’re here but since this is a super busy time, mods aren’t able to answer personal advice or contest questions. We’re approving your comments now so the girls can start offering feedback right away! If you still have questions, please come back, we’re happy to help…or just let the other chicas answer now! (They give awesome advice, trust us!) Love and thanks! ♥, Your Blog Patrol Babes 
Alyssa B.

by actress456 on 5/19/2011 6:37:30 PM

 
 

Hey You guys! Growing up? confused about boys? No worries! I have all the answers! Nothing is too personal. You can ask me anything from tampons to cookies to your major crush to school! I will reply ASAP(:

by melaniegrace<3 on 5/19/2011 6:07:08 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey so ive been getting lot of different stories about my friend ":z" and how she talks about me. today i confronted her about it and she got upset and mad at me. so then she went and hung out with this girl "g" and z says she hates g and g hates me. so it not good. and she blamed it all on how i dont trust her. i really need your help!
thanks

 

Hey girly,

If this girl "Z" is talking behind your back, I would just ignore her and hang out with some other friends. This will cause you to avoid unwanted drama and hopefully she will stop talking about you.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by i_heart_? on 5/19/2011 5:52:25 PM

 
 

Hey Ladies! Do you need advice? I would love to give you some! I will answer any questions, or just talk to you when you are sad. I can give you advice about friends, guys, family, food, sports, school,growing up, or even yourself! I would be absolutely happy to help! I will give you an honest answer ASAP, and hun, nothing is too personal so don't be afraid!Thank you(: ( Oh, and BTW, The four tags I have aren't just the things you can ask me about. Those are just ideas!)

by gracieb123 on 5/19/2011 5:44:42 PM

 
 

That's the same exact way with my parents! I get straight A's all the time but sometimes I get sad because I feel like all they care about is me getting good grades. My sister is the superstar softball player in the family and they love watching her play but when it comes to me, I'm just the one who gets good grades and that's it.

by michipie205 on 5/19/2011 5:29:18 PM

 
 

my parents really care about grades, but they're not super strict!

by puppylover1152 on 5/19/2011 5:27:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My BFF is making a big deal about me spending time with another BFF instead of her. i asked if we could privately and she said that she hates my bff. but she is taking her anger on me instead my other friend what do i do?!?!?

 

Hey girl,

I would tell your friend that she should not be mad at you for hanging out with your other friend. You are free to hang out with whoever you choose. I would just try to balance out time hanging out with both friends. If she is still giving you a hard time, I would give her some space.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by izzyzing65 on 5/19/2011 3:54:49 PM

 
 

My parents care about my grades, but they aren't that strict about them.

by nerdisthewurd26 on 5/19/2011 2:58:26 PM

 
 

mod mod mod,
I really need your help!! So in public speaking class, we have to do presentations that can be about ANYTHING! and we get a partner. So my friend and i have no idea what to do for our presentation! The day before I gave a "how to eat an oreo cookie" speech but I'm running out of ideas!! plz plz plz plz plz help! I need creative ideas. thankyou!

 

Hey Girlie,

I am not sure what your guidelines are for the speech, I would talk about a favorite activity or topic you are passionate about. You could also do a speech on how to do something you enjoy doing.


 

danielle D.

danielle D.

by selenagomez on 5/19/2011 2:28:39 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I have been so stressed lately with school. So much homework,tests, quizzes and exams. I stayed home sick yesterday and i was fine with it because it was a field trip day so i didnt miss anything. BUt them last nihgt i was up till around 3 in the morning becuase i was thinking about all the stuff coming up. ihave volleyball tryouts for high school, a huge algebra test, and exams. SO i missed school today too becase i wasnt completly over this cold and i was SO tired(only got 3 hours of sleep) BUt i was up crying all night obsessing over my grades. HOw do i stop my worrying ?

 

Hey Babe! You just need to take a deep breath and live in the moment! You can't worry about the upcoming days. Just focus on what you have to get done for the day and not the work you will have in the future. I know this is hard, but if you can do this then your stress level will go down and you will get more sleep! Sleep is very very important. So close those eyes and try and tune out all of your thoughts. The more rest you get the better the next day will be!

Lili T.

by fbvb13 on 5/19/2011 12:45:55 PM

 
 

Mod mod mod mod mod mod mod
My bff told me she hates me just because I asked her if she was wearing a cami! Idk wut the heck hapened. I tried to talk to her about it and she just keeps saying "I just don't like u anymore" she really hurt my feelings and I don't no what happened. What should I do!!!!!'

 

Hey Girlie. You need to make your BFF sit down with you and explain why she is so upset! You can't fix the problem without taking. Try to talk it out again and if she will not talk to you about it then you need to give her time to cool down. Maybe she is having problems at home or something else is bothering her and she is taking it out on you. If she is really your BFF then you two will make amends soon! Keep your head up!


Lili T. Lili T.

by katykat3000 on 5/19/2011 9:10:25 AM

 
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