My two close friends and I had a huge fight. While we weren’t speaking, I made new friends and became popular. My old friends and I are tight again, but I’m still really close to my new besties. My old BFFs are saying I ditched them. Did I? What should I do?
Hey girlie! Sorry to hear about all the drama. It can be really tough to be put in that kind of sitch, especially when it’s with your besties. Here’s the good news: If you handle this right, I bet you can keep both your old and new friendships intact. It’s the best of both worlds!
Walk a mile in their shoes
First things first: Ya gotta understand that your friends feel hurt. I don’t know enough about the sitch to say if you ditched 'em or not, but either way it seems like they’re struggling with sharing you. Imagine if you were in their place. You’d probably be unhappy, too. Ignoring the tension is just going to make it worse, so make it a priority to sit down with your besties and have a heart-to-heart. Hashing out the problem might be awkward at first, but resolving the issues will make your friendship even stronger.
Don’t play favorites
I’m guessing you’re feeling some major pressure to choose between your two groups of friends, old and new. You might feel like it’s up to you to pick which amigas are your “real friends,” but the truth is, good buds are the ones who won’t make you choose. Learn how to balance your time between your two groups of besties. If you go bowling with your new BFFs, plan a sleepover with your oldies for double the fun.
Watch what you say
Save Gossip Girl for sleepover TV marathons. If you talk trash about either group behind their back, I guarantee you’ll be in some serious trouble. Besides, gossip turns a clique toxic fast, and I’m sure you don’t want that kind of friendship. If either group starts talking smack, it’s your job to set them straight and defend your buddies. Ugly words should have no place in a beautiful friendship, anyway.
Hang in there chica and stay positive. I know it’s a lil tricky, but with some effort you can be a fabulous friend to everyone!
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BY SARAH GOLDBERG ON 6/28/2011 9:00:00 AM
POSTED IN bff, bust my bestie problem, group, I want to be popular, advice