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Torn between two social circles


 
My two close friends and I had a huge fight. While we weren’t speaking, I made new friends and became popular. My old friends and I are tight again, but I’m still really close to my new besties. My old BFFs are saying I ditched them. Did I? What should I do?

Hey girlie! Sorry to hear about all the drama. It can be really tough to be put in that kind of sitch, especially when it’s with your besties. Here’s the good news: If you handle this right, I bet you can keep both your old and new friendships intact. It’s the best of both worlds!

Walk a mile in their shoes
First things first: Ya gotta understand that your friends feel hurt. I don’t know enough about the sitch to say if you ditched 'em or not, but either way it seems like they’re struggling with sharing you. Imagine if you were in their place. You’d probably be unhappy, too. Ignoring the tension is just going to make it worse, so make it a priority to sit down with your besties and have a heart-to-heart. Hashing out the problem might be awkward at first, but resolving the issues will make your friendship even stronger.

Don’t play favorites
I’m guessing you’re feeling some major pressure to choose between your two groups of friends, old and new. You might feel like it’s up to you to pick which amigas are your “real friends,” but the truth is, good buds are the ones who won’t make you choose. Learn how to balance your time between your two groups of besties. If you go bowling with your new BFFs, plan a sleepover with your oldies for double the fun.

Watch what you say
Save Gossip Girl for sleepover TV marathons. If you talk trash about either group behind their back, I guarantee you’ll be in some serious trouble. Besides, gossip turns a clique toxic fast, and I’m sure you don’t want that kind of friendship. If either group starts talking smack, it’s your job to set them straight and defend your buddies. Ugly words should have no place in a beautiful friendship, anyway.

Hang in there chica and stay positive. I know it’s a lil tricky, but with some effort you can be a fabulous friend to everyone!

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BY SARAH GOLDBERG ON 6/28/2011 9:00:00 AM

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Mod mod mod. Okay I have two best friends, My family is kind of rich Like I mean we get by and can shop at nice clothing stores not like thrift stores and stuff, one of my friends, her dad is a pastor and they don't have as much. When I talk about Like how I went and shopped at this one store, she will say Oh My mom says we can't shop there cause it is so expensive and I start to feel bad! Then I say I am going to bake some brownies later and she says, My dad says, Hailee! Do you want to waste our money on blah blah like whatever! And I feel so bad! And I try to ignore it, but she always says well my dad says we can't because blah blah, so after that I just have to shut up. What can i doFrown?




Hey girlie,

Try not to make your shopping and other "expensive" hobbies the focus of your conversations. Your parents work hard and have good paying jobs, which then means you can live comfortably - that's nothing to be ashamed of! But if it makes you feel bad that you have money than your friend and her family, try to swing the convo to other subjects. That way, it's not even an issue Smile It's not your responsibility to fix her financial situation, so don't beat yourself up!
Lauren C.

by Amyluv32 on 9/18/2011 12:33:08 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! Alrighty, so yesterday at school, my friend invited me to her outh group, and I said that I couldn't go because my parents didn't want me to for certain reasons, and she asked what was wrong with those things that my parents don't like. And now I'm worried that I offended her or something, but that was SO not my goal. Should I just let it go? Or should I even try to bring it up again?

 


Hey chica, I'm super busy right now trying to answer all you guys! Hit up some of your gal pals on here like facebooker1240 for help! I'm sure they'll be willing to lend a helping hand! Smile Smile Smile


Lynae P.

by Luckycharmz on 9/14/2011 1:46:18 PM

 
 

Okay so me and my best friend ever got in a huge fight. Well not really huge but big. I told one of our other friends something that her older step sister said not to. Me and my friend were playing a game and it kind of came up. I ttrie apologizing but shes to stubborn. She had me crying and everyone is basically running to my side. I dont wanna have them choose sides but I dont wanna be alone. And I wanna be her friend but then again I dont. We have problems with secrets. If I tell her something then she tells someone that secret. I never got mad at her. But the one ime I made a mistake I got blamed and she got mad at me. And now shes telling everyone that shes "done with me". And I dont think what i did was that bad, HELP PLEASE!

by AlLiEwAzHuRr on 9/13/2011 9:20:12 PM

 
 

MMODDDD! MODD! i need your help please!
okayy, so this new girl just moved to my school , and since it would suck being in eigth grade with no friends ma and my friends became friends with her, she's really nice, and i really want to get to know her well, but there's a problem, she's beautiful! and i've been having self esteem isues lately, and when i look at her i think why can't i be pretty like her?? HELP ME! What do i do???????
Thanks
p.s. i really don't want to lose her as a friend

 

Hey girlie,

We all run into this insecurity now and then in our lives - there will always be someone prettier, smarter, better at basketball, etc. out there. It's just life! But remind yourself that, while she's gorgeous, she has her own weaknesses that make her feel insecure too. She might have serious trouble in math class, or might get nervous public-speaking, or have a stressful/unhappy family life, or can't work computers...whatever it is, I promise you she isn't good at everything. And you have strengths too, whether or not you remember them all the time! Whenever you feel this way, look in the mirror and force yourself to come up with FIVE things you love about yourself. You might get discouraged and get upset - and you can let yourself be upset - but then pull it together and seriously look at yourself from an objective point-of-view. You DO have amazing things that make you unique and special, so the key is just to remind yourself of them whenever you get down Smile

Lauren C.

by dancergirl164 on 9/8/2011 5:49:04 PM

 
 



MOD MOD!! My best friend and I both have a crush on a guy that we both work with! How do we solve this problem??




Hey girl,

What's the problem? Are you being too competitive about it? Are you mad at each other because you like him? The biggest question is: does he have a crush on either of you? That will sometimes help clear up the problem - if he likes one of you and wants to date one of you, or if neither of you have a chance because he has a different type. Whatever the biggest issue is, just talk it out with your bestie so it isn't a problem anymore - your friendship is much more important!
Lauren C.

by 1Polar_Bear on 9/4/2011 10:54:01 AM

 
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