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The 411 on mixing friends

 
 
I hang out with two groups of friends: my preppie friends from before and my sporty newer friends. My old friends complain that I hang out with my new friends too much, and vice versa. Last weekend, I stayed home alone because I didn’t know which group to hang out with and didn’t want to let anyone down. I tried to get them together to know each other better, but it didn’t work out. I don’t have one friend from either group who understands how hard it is for me to choose. Can you please give me ideas on what to do?

 

Dear Fought-Over Friend,

While going out with two guys is pretty much against the rules, having lots of different friends isn’t. You don’t really need to choose—there’s enough of you to go around and enough days in the summer to hang out with lots of people. If the old friends say, “Want to go to a movie?” you can say, “I’d love to,” or “Sorry, I made plans for tonight but how about tomorrow?”

 

Try not to feel apologetic or defensive—the more comfortable you are with the situation, the more comfortable others will feel. One more tip: Don’t spend your time with one group talking about what you like and what annoys you about the other group. Good luck!

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 7/5/2011 8:00:00 AM

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MODMODMOD
Ugh.I had this friend that was shy,quiet,and so insecure even if Icheer her up,reassure her,talk with her(etc)It's to the point where it got really annoying and she was never willing to do anything out of her comfort zone and cried easily.And yes,I did everything to help her, but it's like she won't budge!It wasn't exactly "super fun" hanging out with her anymore, she was just a GREAT person to talk to instead!I still like her,and we know that when we move to highschool,she can have her own friends, and I can hang with my own friends since she is SO clingy to me.. Last week we were at camp(coincidentally)and I immediately becamefriends with a girl on the first day.My friend from before though didn't,and she didn't make friends with anyone for the first 2 days..-_- she decided to follow me, even though we SAID we would go separate ways.Now she has become friends with my friend I originally made..She can't even MAKE FRIENDS ON HER OWN..and she now copies my every move.HELP?


 


Hey girly! Maybe, if you branch out and try some new things, you can meet new friends of your own! Try out for a new sport or join a club without her. That way, you can have some space to grow on your own and meet people! Smile


xxx


Becca G.

by kkk38 on 8/13/2011 6:30:01 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I found out through my mom that my best friend's dog is dying from cancer, and will have to be put to sleep eventually. She hasn't told me because its too hard for her to talk about. I'm really "not supposed 2 know". I don't know how to deal with this information now. It also makes me think about my own cat, who is slowly dying from kidney failure. What do I say when and if she decides to tell me? and how to also stop thinking about death and my cat family and friends dying. It all scares me.




Hey babe,

I totally understand where you're coming from - death is scary and sometimes hard to deal with. As for your friend's dog, just be supportive when she tells you. Tell her you're here for her if she ever needs someone to talk to or a way to take her mind off it. You can be there to talk about her memories with the dog, the sadness she's feeling, and the future. By being positive and available, you'll give her some relief from the pain she'll be feeling. With family and friends, sometimes we want to just give in to the fear and be nervous about it all the time. The important thing to focus on, though, is living - focusing on the full lives that your pets, family, and friends have lived, focusing on living your own life to the fullest, and understanding that making memories will help us keep our loved ones "alive" forever Smile
Lauren C.

by kguyer123 on 8/1/2011 8:32:19 PM

 
 

MOD MOD
okay, so I go to a pretty small school (only 30 kids in the whole grade...15 girls). There's basically like, three different social circles for the girls. I'm caught in between two of them, and I've known all the girls since kindergarten, and i know that they won't be willing to cooperate with eachother. Problem is, I reallyyy want to be friends with both groups! One of my friends from group A is always really rude to everyone whenever anyone from group B is around. But when it's just me and other group A people, she's totally fine. My group B friends can't understand why i would want to be friends with someone so rude. Any ideas?




Hey girl,

You need to just tell the girls from each group that you like both the groups equally and still wanna hang out with them, and it makes you feel kinda awkward when they talk bad about each other. You can also say that you'd really wish they'd be friends with each other, but since you don't think that will happen, you just want them to accept the fact that you're going to be friends with both groups. Good luck! x0x0 
Casey L.

by rosierose5 on 7/27/2011 3:21:11 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD!
Every time my friend comes to my house she uses my Laptop.Like Yesterday she came to my house and she came around 4pm,then she asked if she could use my Laptop and i said yes.I know you might think i'm exaggerating but 7 hours pass and she's still on my Laptop.I don't wanna be mean but it get on my nerves.And it's makes me feel mad since she comes to my house to be on my laptop.So i just wanna know how can I tell her to get off my laptop.




Hey babe! That's really rude of her and you should do something about it. Next time she asks there are tons of things you can do: Just say no. If you don't want to be mean then let her use it, I think 30 minutes is long enough, maybe 45 if you're generous. After you think she's had it long enough, tell her you need to use it. Then it's yours again. She'll probably say something like, "I'm almost done." So you can give her 5-10 more minutes, then say it again, that you need to use your computer. It's yours, she has to give it over. Then once you goof around for 10 or so minutes, ask her if she wants to do something else. Put your computer away so that she can't use it anymore either. Then if she comes over again and asks to use it, have it put away and tell her your dad is fixing it or something and see if she wants to do something else instead. If she doesn't have her own computer she doesn't need to use yours all the time. That's what the library is for. Good luck! xoxo
Jess W.

by Jazzyrock2213 on 7/22/2011 2:27:41 AM

 
 

MOD! MOD! MOD!!!!!
what are some good ideas for a birthday present for a friend? we arent like best friends but we are pretty close friends. so what are some good ideas for inexpensive, maybe something i can make, and fun gifts for her? her favorite color is purple btw.
Thank you sooo much!




Hey girly,

Here's one idea: Get a scrabble game, and use the tiles to glue words on the board that describe her, or things that she likes. So, it will end up looking like a real scrabble game except all of the words will be about her! You can also glue pictures of you and her on the board, to make it even more personal! x0x0
Casey L.

by lazer!beam!22 on 7/21/2011 2:32:32 PM

 
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