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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

Can't make eye contact!


 
I have a problem. When I talk to people, I can’t look them in the eye. I don’t want to be known as an insecure person because I’m not. Is there a way I can make myself look into people’s eyes?

 

Dear Eye Dropper,

You get points for realizing that meeting people’s eyes is considered a sign of interest, friendliness, courtesy and confidence. Why not practice seeing eye to eye with people who don’t intimidate you? For now, forget about the lifeguard or your crush. Make eye contact with your mom, friends, camp counselor, librarian, cousins. Everybody is shy at times, but make the effort and next thing you know, you’ll be making eye contact.

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 7/9/2011 7:00:00 AM

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19 Comments | Add Yours
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I'm not that insecure, but i have trouble looking into peoples eyes. I would try and squint and desperately want to look away. When I look in peoples eyes. The whole conversation seems awkward. Lauren T.

by goldforever on 3/18/2013 5:34:03 PM

 
 

I have the same exact problem. When I talk to people, even my best friend, I don't look them in the eyes. I'm not insecure or anything but I just don't like looking people in the eyes. And for me people have pointed it out and stopped me while I talk to tell me that they're not behind them and I try my hardest to look at them but it just doesn't feel right to look people in the eyes.

by hellothisisgiraffe on 8/1/2012 3:07:28 PM

 
 

Good advice!

Please visit my Advice Queen page! I really like to give advice to peeps Smile just post a question and i will answer it on your profile as soon as i see it.

by basketballcutie11 on 12/23/2011 5:36:13 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
I can NEVER look into a boys eye.Only for like 3 seconds,then look off somewhere else.How do I stop?

 

Hey girly,

 

The best thing to do is not to think about it as "looking in a boy's eye." Think about it like you would if you were looking into your bestie's eye. If you look away, force yourself to look back. It will take some practice but you can do it!

Catie C.

by JordanDArose on 12/22/2011 7:43:29 AM

 
 

Same problem here I don't know why but it's just really hard for me.

by pinkkitty13 on 11/24/2011 9:28:35 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
hi! my best friend and i like the same guy. everything was fine until she found out that he likes her and now he knows tht she likes him. How do i win him back? also, i gave him my number and asked him to text me....but he didn't, he texted her instead. Please help! Thnks Smile
Jess




Hey Jess,

Eh... prob not a good idea, girl. It's awesome that you aren't discouraged and want to win him back, but you can't force him to like you. And if you try too hard to do so, it'll only make you look bad. Instead, I would let them sort this out. Let them talk and see if they like each other enough to date/make more of this crush. After some time passes, they'll either date, fizzle out, or nothing will happen at all. Either way, stay friends with both of them and support them. That way, if this crush runs its course, you'll be there as a good friend without burning any bridges (aka without ruining any friendships)...and you can flirt a little with him to see if he might have any crush feelings for you Smile 
Lauren C.

by musiclover98 on 11/19/2011 11:04:54 PM

 
 

Okay... but what if I have like a SERIOUS problem with eye contact. Every time I try to look someone in the eye, I feel like I'm about to cry. It's so embarrassing! Help!

by HaleyofTroy on 8/1/2011 11:55:06 PM

 
 

MOD

 

Hey chica, I am so, so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down on yourself.  Even if you made big mistakes, you have to learn to forgive yourself and make the best of things moving forward.  I think it would be great if you could find an adult you trust that you could talk to.  I understand if it's too tough to talk to your 'rents right now, but you could consider talking to a teacher, counselor, aunt, or grandparent.  It's difficult to do that, I know, but it will be worth it.  If it doesn't work out with one adult you approach, don't give up.  You deserve to get support, no matter what happened in the past.  This article has tips for approaching an adult (doesn't have to be parents!):  http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/04/25/How-to-talk-to-parents-about-tough-stuff.aspx  xoxo

Marie H.

by GoGreenGoPeace on 7/22/2011 9:38:32 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MODi have a problem with my friend leslie. every single time we see each other we fight constantly. she always points out the unnessicary and is not very supportive of something i really belive in (animal rights). i want to stop being friends but how should i tell her. also, our family already invited her to a premier and its rude to uninvite her but i dont want to even be around her.
what should i do?
Ivy
p.s my mom will get mad if i ignore her at the premier so how do i talk to her? G




Try talking to her about how you feel about your fighting as of late and how you two can possibly fix things between the two of you. If all else fails you can tell her that you'd like to take a break




Brittany G.
Brittany G.

by britgirlivy on 7/19/2011 8:42:58 PM

 
 

If you look at their nose, it will look just as if you are looking into their eyes. Works like a charm!

by tennisGRLY9 on 7/18/2011 12:39:00 PM

 
 

Sometimes I do the same thing, but I will use the trick of looking at their nose, so that it looks like I'm looking at them, but I'm not as insecure about it.

by tennisGRLY9 on 7/18/2011 12:36:07 PM

 
 

I do that too.. I don't know why, but I feel like looking into people's eyes is just kind of awkward.

by bryisme on 7/17/2011 10:15:53 PM

 
 

Hey! I do the same thing! But i have no problem with it, for me it just makes things more intense. I didn't notice i did it until my crush pointed it out. Then my freind pointed out that he has to be paying attention to me, if not crushing on me! Just proves your quirks and be sexy and catch a guys eye (no pun inteded or funniness cuz that nor raelly a pun!) ;)

by Bubblez9722 on 7/12/2011 10:33:44 PM

 
 

i have that problem to... most of the time i look at there mouth or hands if they talk with their hands

by lilsmilyface on 7/11/2011 10:16:36 AM

 
 

hey girl...
i have to same probelm... have you looked into if you might have aspergers syndrom?

by e.procinsky on 7/10/2011 10:13:05 PM

 
 

I def don't have that prob! Smile

by peacelovegoogle on 7/10/2011 9:40:16 PM

 
 

I totally have this problem too! I just look at their noses Tong

by pinktastic4ever on 7/9/2011 10:54:12 PM

 
 

im super shy. i do that alot. the way i practice making eye contact is when im buying gum or candy i look at the person behind i register.

by j4zm09 on 7/9/2011 5:37:58 PM

 
 

Thanks 4 putting this up GL

by crafthands on 7/9/2011 11:18:44 AM

 
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