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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

How long should I wait for my ex?


 
I’m 13. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. He says he still likes me a lot, but he just needs some “space” and “time.” I really, really like him, and I told him I’d wait ‘til he’s ready. But it’s been so long that I’m tired of waiting. I want to ask him about it, but if I do, he might find me annoying.
 

Dear Tired of Waiting,

Most breakups don’t come with tidy explanations. Rather than breaking up with you outright, he may have though it would be easier to say he needed time. Ha! Easier for him, not you. Please don’t wasted any more hours waiting for his text or call. Not only does waiting in the wings as Little Miss Available put you in an unflattering light, it’s eating up your valuable time. Get out there and laugh with friends, and remind yourself that you are too young and wonderful to be moping and hoping about one boy. If way down the road you two pick up where you left off, fine. For now though, don’t be sitting at the intersection wishing it would happen.

 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 3/13/2013 12:00:00 AM

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I moved away from my ex, but he stills likes me and I still like him, is possible for us to work out? OR is he just another dream that won't happen?

Hey girl, if you're close enough to see each other in-person, it might work out.  But if you live too far away to ever actually see each other, then it's probs best to move on.  Good luck, chica.  


Karin E.

by Paiger0803 on 4/25/2013 11:10:38 AM

 
 

Idk
A guy l knew for a long time asked me out. I've finnaly waited along time for any guy to ask me out. I so want a bf but for some reason I feel guilty. Idk what is going on so I break up with him. I wish I couldn't be like this. I have ont relation ships that lasted 1day because of it.

by nikkicantu on 3/26/2013 10:08:01 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!
Prom is coming up and I'm not as excited as I should be. Here's the story. My boyfriend of almost 2 years isn't allowed to go. But he's deciding to sneak out by saying he's going to sleep over his friends house, which he will be, but also go to prom that night. Everyone is on board with it, except my parents. They don't know he's going. They knew how upset I was when he said he couldn't go, but they were still happy I was going. I don't want them to think he's a bad kid for sneaking out, he's really not. His parents are just super strict and he didn't want to miss out on a high school experience. If I don't tell my parents, I feel like I'm lying to them, and they'll be feeling bad for me for no reason when they have no reason to because my bf is going now. And if they find out without me telling, they might be upset for not telling them. How do I tell them that he's sneaking out without them being upset? Please help!

 

You should really tell your parents what's going on... it's important for them to know what is going on. Try sitting them down and explain to them how his parents are really strict and he doesn't want to miss this high school experience. Also include that you really only want to go with him! Then, tell them the plan he has. I'm sure they will understand! Make sure you tell them that you trust them not to tell his parents! Good luck!

mailyse f.

by sj96 on 3/15/2013 3:40:25 PM

 
 

Hi

by haleyiscool on 3/15/2013 10:16:48 AM

 
 

Hey guys! I can't decide whether I like this guy or not. Is it possible to like two guys at once? I think/know I like one of them, but I'm not sure if/how I like the other one? HELP!!!

by jayjay927 on 3/14/2013 9:08:57 PM

 
 



Moderator!
My ex boyfriend wants to get back with me, but I'm having mixed feelings about him. One side of me is delighted and desperate for romance and to get my first kiss ever with and to have someone love me, the other is angry and viewing him as unreliable and untrustworthy because of our breakup  I don't know what to do; please help! I'm 13 an I do actually like him (I think ... I don't know!) I have issues with trusting so I don't know if that is getting in the way...?

 

 

Hey Girl, I don't think he is worth it. Any guy who treats you like that isn't good enough for you. A relationship is about supporting one another and being there for each other, and he clearly isn't doing that with you. And although it isn't physical or anything, the things he says is abuse. If you trust anybody, trust yourself and your thoughts. You clearly don't think that he is a good idea, so go with your gut and say no to him.

 

 

Hannah H. 


Hannah H.

by Kikikim8 on 3/14/2013 7:19:15 AM

 
 


At Kikikiim8
I do not believe you should get back together with your ex. If he lied to you while you were dating, you do not have a trusty relationship and that is the main part about being in a relationship, trusting each other. (He isn't supportive)  So I do not believe it is in the best interest for you to date him again. I think you should find another guy, and if your ex harasses you, do not be afraid to talk to a counselor or a school official about it. They can help. I know I've had troubles and they have helped me. I wish you luck! Hannah H.

by HockeyLuver on 3/14/2013 12:08:13 AM

 
 

Moderator!

My ex boyfriend wants to ger backcwith me, but I'm having mixed feelings about him. One side of me is delighted and desperate for romance and to get my first kiss lver with and to have someone love me, the other is angry and viewing him as unreliable and jntrustworthy because of our breakup (he was pressuring me to kiss him and he would lie about his issues at home, then once we broke up he continually told me to kill myself.) I don't kmow what to do; please help! I'm 13 an I do actually like him (I think ... I don't know!) I have mental issues with trusting so I don't know if that is getting in the way...?

by Kikikim8 on 3/13/2013 10:04:21 PM

 
 

We all are different but if you could I would try and get your mind on your friends and school but I know to stop thinking about your ex and guys can be very hard, especially after you have kissed and done other relationship things that come with being bf and gf. I think that is why its also good to wait before doing certain things, but I know its hard to not want to do them. You are not alone.

by fashionqn on 3/13/2013 12:46:07 AM

 
 

I am offering up all of my clubs to other people, because I am not in a position to keep them running. Instead of deleting them, I would like to transfer ownership. Here are the ones that are up for grabs:

Helping Out Club
Girl 2 Girl Talk
Performing Arts Club
The Trauma/Drama of Middle School

just leave a message on my profile

by basketballcutie11 on 8/22/2011 8:28:54 AM

 
 

livestrong.com says cutting isnt the only way, thankyou though. Smile

by JenJen3 on 7/29/2011 11:14:46 PM

 
 

livestrong.com says cutting isnt the only way, thankyou though. Smile

by JenJen3 on 7/29/2011 11:13:34 PM

 
 

MODMODMODMOD!!!!! hiii, i need some tips for my hair... it's very broken. Most websites say that in order to make my hair healthy, i need to cut it but i don't want to Cry any ideas how to fix it?? thankkkyouuuSmile

 

Only way would be to cut it, I'm sorry

 

Brittany G.

Brittany G.

by JenJen3 on 7/29/2011 10:49:31 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
okayy, so ive gone out with guys before, and im not going out with anyone right now, but i like a few guys. but my parents dont think i like guys yet, and im really scared to tell them cause im only 12.... please help!




hey! you don't really need to sit down and tell your parents about this. they'll figure it out eventually ;) 
Helen S.

by if.i.die.young on 7/27/2011 7:30:14 PM

 
 

Alright, I broke up with my ex recently because he cheated on me. He denied cheating on me even though I saw pictures of him kissing another girl :/ I don't think I would be able to trust him again but I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him a lot. I just can't seem to get over him, what should I do?

by CrazyHapaGirl on 7/27/2011 2:24:48 AM

 
 

MOD!
Almost everyone in my class played spin the bottle last year. My parents won't let me play because a) they kiss on the mouth b) we're only 11. My crush always asks if i can play next year even though I told him why I can't and he always says "can you ask your parents again?" and "your parents wont find out." 1. does that mean he kinda likes me? 2. What should I do about the game?

 

 

 

Hey girl. 1) This probably means he likes you. Why else would he be pressuring you to play a kissing game? 2) Follow your gut. I think 11 is kind of young, but everyone is different. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

mary h.

by Cece562 on 7/26/2011 10:56:29 AM

 
 

When I get in to any relationship I know it isn't going to last. Well, that's my thoughts for now while I'm still young. I won't take this dating thing seriously for awhile.

by thetruth on 7/20/2011 6:33:49 PM

 
 

Thank you so much Alyssa B. for the amazing advice! Smile

by lyc13 on 7/20/2011 1:57:50 PM

 
 

MOD! I think I'm depressed Frown I don't cut myself or think about suicide or anything, but I've just felt so down lately Frown I'm 16 and I've never had a boyfriend before (probably because I REFUSE to settle for just any guy, and I'm pretty shy and want the guy to really show that he likes me enough to chase me) I've also been sad because I think I hate my best friend... I know that sounds absolutely terrible but we've been friends for 5 years and lately she's just been really mean to me, like whenever we hang out with friends she always has to be the center of attention and stomp on my reputation and make me feel as left out and lonely as possible Frown an example is how she ALWAYS has to be in the very middle whenever we take pictures together, and somehow i always end up on the end Frown Hanging around her also hurts my self esteem because everyone is constantly telling her how cute and beautiful she is, especially boys, and never me Frown Is it wrong to want the spotlight every once in a while?




Hey girl, it's not wrong to want the spotlight, but it's important to realize that a) having a boyfriend is not everything (and believe me, it can be hard to grasp that: a lot of girls have trouble, but it's so true. When the right guy comes, it'll be worth the wait but you need to love you first before you can love anyone else) and b) your friend doesn't mean to hurt you. Talk to her about that and know you're beautiful too. And that's something you don't need to be told to know is true.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by lyc13 on 7/20/2011 12:01:49 AM

 
 

ok, i still really like my ex but he found a new girl. The breakup was really rough on both of us and he looked really depressed after it. And when we are alone its like we never broke up. Does he want me back?




Hey girl,

Unless he breaks up with this new girl, he's not really showing that he wants you back. If he decides that he does and that he made a bad decision not going out with you anymore, then he needs to prove it and break up with his new girl before you two can make any decisions. x0x0 
Casey L.

by Cherrypop481 on 7/19/2011 1:41:04 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
At camp, there was this one guy, and we slow danced, and I really liked him. Then, he asked me to be his girlfriend for the night, and I got so caught up that I thought he meant really be his girlfriend, and actually, he only meant pretend so he could impress his friends. What's worse is that I still liked him after. I thought I would get over him, and then we danced one more time, and this time, he told me how other guys saw me. He said that they saw me as hot and beautiful and a 10 outta 10 and a smart, sweet girl. And then, he said that he didn't see me that way. He only saw me as a friend. He broke my heart, and I just can't stop thinking of him. Also, on the last day, he was making sure that i didn't really hate him, which I don't, even though everyone says I should. My mom said he was trying to keep his options open in case he decided he did like me. He sounds like a jerk, but I still cant get over him. How do I get over this guy?




Hey girl,

To get over him, you just need to take your mind off of him by doing other activities. Each day it will be easier to stop thinking about him, and soon you won't even think about him at all. You should also try to meet nicer guys who do think of you as being beautiful and smart, and don't just wanna use you for a couple of slow dances. Good luck! x0x0 
Casey L.

by romanticbookworm13 on 7/19/2011 12:51:35 PM

 
 

MOD MOD.... k, so me and this guy started liking eachother about a year ago. I finaly had the courage to tell him and we've been 'together' ever since. It's been 10 months. My friends say he needs to be a better boyfriend. He never comes on time and he always changes plans. But he still makes it every once and a while. I LOVE hanging out with him and i feel at home whenever i'm with him. He respects me and doesn't cross boundaries. A little more than a week ago he started ignoring me and was obviously avoiding me. I called him and asked what was up and he said he needed a 'break' to figure out what he wants. I've been missing him like crazy and can't get him off of my mind.... ?????????? Help?




Hey girl,

Ouch, this is so tough. But this happens during relationships sometimes, especially when you've been going out for as long as you have. It might be that his feelings have fizzled (which unfortunately happens sometimes, with one person in the relationship losing interest just because the "honeymoon" phase of the first few months is over). It could be that he met someone who didn't steal him away, but who made him wonder what else is out there (which is also normal - we're young and it's so rare for people to stay together for many years right now because of the need to explore). And it could just be that he wants to be alone for a while. Either way, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong - so try to be upbeat about it, even if it's hard. This gives you both a chance to stretch your wings and see what else is out there, whether it's a new guy, more quality time with your besties, a new sport, or a hobby you always wanted to try. He's using this time to "figure things out," so you should use this time for YOU as well. Pamper yourself and treat yourself to all the things that make you happiest. Try not to wait around for him - usually, guys use "break" as an easy way to break things off without hurting you as much. Instead, focus on yourself and let time pass. I know you don't wanna hear this, but time will make it hurt a lil less <333
Lauren C.

by Jazzi_12 on 7/18/2011 11:16:49 PM

 
 

MOD! Im so upset. Me and this guy like eachother. The thing is he goes to a different school. That isnt the problem though. I live in the in the middle of no where, & i hate it because i dont get to hang out with anyone. Anyways, this guy reeeally wants me to hang out, but he keeps asking me to hang out when I cant/not allowed. He's coming over to my house this week, but he almost broke off our 'thing' because i couldnt come to his house today! I dont know what to do. I know that if he really liked me he would stay with me & we'd be able to ger around it. But he's not used to not being able to hang out everyday. He told my bestfriend it would be hard to date me because i can hardly ever hang out!

 

 

Hey chica! If this guy doesn't respect you and your situation, then he's not worth your time. Sorry to put that bluntly, but he should understand. Of course, it's natural that he wants to see you, but it's not your fault, since your rents make the rules. Maybe, try talking to your parents about it. Maybe, they can be more flexible.

xxx

Becca G.

by jordanll on 7/17/2011 11:01:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
Lauren, thanks for the advice. I have another question. We've been texting a bit lately. How do I tell him I'm not going to wait around forever without hurting him, even though he's hurting me.




I think it's better not to be too direct about that. You don't want to come right out and be like, "I'm not waiting for you anymore!" since you might hurt him, and that'd be bad just in case you want to try dating him in the future. Instead, just be a little more distant - a little less available, if that makes sense. Obviously staying friends with him and chatting with him is totally fine, but don't let it go beyond that "friend" zone. Be friendly and warm but, if anything crosses that line, just politely tell him "You know I'm not your girlfriend." Don't be in a rush to respond to his texts either - just treat him like you would treat any of your other friends, girl or guy. That way, you aren't playing any games or hurting him...you're just friends, as you should be until he's single again <3
Lauren C.

by jayhawk94 on 7/17/2011 3:20:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
This is about as complicated of a problem as it can get, but I really need some advice. There is this guy that I really like. He has liked me for years, but I turned him down a couple of years ago because I wasn't ready to date yet. He asked this girl out, but said he didn't really like her when he asked her out. They have been dating for almost 2 years now. He told me that he still likes me, but he can't break her heart. He also said that if anything happened between them, we would date. His girlfriend is my friend, and I know that he really really likes me, but he doesn't want to break up with her. How long am I supposed to wait? I can't just wait around forever. Please help!




Hey girl,

If he's been with her this long, he isn't just sticking around to avoid hurting her. I'll bet he likes her a lot - but also likes you - so he's pretty confused. Either way, it's been two years, so you owe it to yourself not to wait around for him. To be honest, if he was gonna break up with her for you or anyone else, he probably would've done it already. Instead of waiting and constantly wishing he'd finally do it, appreciate your feelings for him but try to expand your "horizons" (as they say). Do something good for yourself! Join a sport, take a new summer class, and spend lots of time with your besties. If he does break up with her in the future and you still have those feelings, then you can see how it goes. But don't put your life on hold for him <3 
Lauren C.

by jayhawk94 on 7/17/2011 2:40:27 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
Okay, so I was just planning my 13th birthday. I was figuring out who I was going to invite, and I have guy friends, but I'm not really that keen on inviting them since I haven't been around them a ton lately. There's one really close guy friend I want to invite, but I don't want him to be the only dude. What should I do?




hey! Just invite a couple so he won't be the only one. maybe you can reconnect with some of them Smile 
Helen S.

by littlemisskarate on 7/15/2011 3:22:27 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD Ok well I've been 'dating' this guy for about 3 months, but I haven't told my mom. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to date, and I'm worried she'll get mad. I was thinking about telling her this weekend when we go shopping but I think it will change how she sees me, you know? Like not as her little girl, and idk it feels weird. But theres another problem, it's a weird relationship, we haven't talked since school ended (not my choice I've been texting and messaging-no answer). So I don't want to tell my mom, ruin our relationship for something that isn't worth it. And even if she says thats fine I would feel embarrassed to tell her that we haven't talked...but I still feel bad for not telling her
**PLEAS HELP**
**THANK YOU SO MUCH!!**




Hey babe! You should tell you mom about the guy, she can even help with the talking problem. When you go shopping just tell her that you want to tell her something. Make your relationship sound less official than it actually is. Say something like, "So there's this guy who I hang out with a lot at school and we talk all the time. He's the one I keep going to movies (or the pool, or wherever you two go together) all the time. But now that school is over we don't really talk.." That way you're telling her about him and getting her advice about what to do. That way she won't be as surprised when you tell her it's officially a relationship. And if things don't work out between you and your BF then it doesn't matter. Good luck! xoxo 
Jess W.

by wisconsinGirl97 on 7/15/2011 12:39:26 PM

 
 



MODMODMOD !!!!
The other day one of your tips of the day on this website was to get celeb smooth skin was to use a moisturizer that you can turn over and it won't fall out. Im using the Mary Kay Velocity cleanser and moisturizer right now (my sis is a teacher and she needed a second job over summer) anyway the moisturizer is more gooie. Can I use the jergens cold cream with that or no?! Thanks!




Hey babe! I've never used Jergens, but if you can follow the turn-over rule, then it should be good. But you don't need to use both. Just stick with the one you can turn over. xoxo 
Jess W.

by deedles1621 on 7/15/2011 12:09:34 PM

 
 

seriously? 13? No offense but Bahahahahahahahaaa!! That's so freaking FUNNY! Personally,i think u should worry about bigger things going on in the world around u .Not a boy who claims to need 'space' & 'time'!!

by haneen.pop.princess on 7/15/2011 11:32:00 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
i havent got the new issue of GL yet is it coming soon?




Hey babe! It should be in your mailbox around the 19th!  
Jess W.

by lennyhommie on 7/15/2011 10:48:02 AM

 
 

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by Freakout911 on 7/15/2011 9:31:22 AM

 
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