Ugh! My parents are really controlling. They’ve just set
my phone to shut off at 6:30 p.m. every day just because they caught my sister
texting after bedtime. All I want is to be able to text my friends until I go
to bed. Is that so much to ask? How can I get them to give me some freedom?
As annoying as it can be, parents just want what’s best for
you, even if it seems to you like they don’t know what that is. Think about how
your parents must feel. They’ve lost their trust in your sister after they
caught her sneaking texts after hours, and they’re worried you’ll do the same.
Maybe they want to make sure you get enough sleep, or perhaps they’re fretting
over the phone bill. That said, your request to text until bedtime is
reasonable, so no need to give up. You still have a chance to redo the rules.
While you might be tempted to rebel, take a deep breath and
realize that by misbehaving, you’re only proving your parents right. Instead,
show them how responsible you can be. Clean your room, make curfew, help with
chores and most importantly, listen to what they say! Don’t complain about your
phone’s early bedtime; there’s nothing parents hate more than whining. Your
parents only restrict you because they think you need it, so behave reliably
and your parents will be much more likely to grant a little independence.
Talk it out
Call a meeting with your parents when they’re relaxed and
receptive. Instead of grumbling about their controlling tendencies in general,
focus on the issue that really matters to you. State clearly why you think the
sitch is unfair, and ask them what their concerns are. Suggest alternatives,
and show that you respect their authority. For example, maybe you can check
your phone in with them before you go to bed, giving you more flexibility, or
perhaps you can foot part of the phone bill in exchange for more control over
And if they say no, they say no. Don’t continue to beg.
Recognize and understand their choice, even if you still disagree, and comply
by their rules. Your mature response will stay in their mind as they
contemplate giving you more independence later on. After all, they are your
parents and while you live with them, they make the rules. Even if you’re still
setting down your phone at 6:30 sharp, you’ll have impressed your parents with
your level-headedness reasonable response. Good luck sweetie!
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BY SARAH GOLDBERG ON 7/27/2011 12:00:00 AM
POSTED IN how to be Miss Independent, problems with my parents, my parents are way-strict, how to talk to parents