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ADVICE | FAMILY

My 'rents won't get off my case!

 
School just started and already my parents are pushing me to get straight-A’s and do a billion extracurricular activities. They’re driving me nuts. What can I do to make them get off my case?
 
Go easy on your parents. They only want you to do well and get into a good college. But, you should sit your ’rents down and tell them that all this pressure is freaking you out. Let them know that you’re gonna do your best, but their expectations are set way too high. Instead of creating an impossible standard, sit down with M&D and talk about some goals that aren’t grade-based. Discuss what you’d like to do better this year, whether it’s joining the soccer team (even though they’re pushing for tennis) or improving your PowerPoint presentation skills.
 
Remember, sweetie: This is your life. Doing everything your parents want you to do is great…if you want to do all of those things, too. But if they’re pushing you to be someone you’re not, you need to let them know and then start thinking about the person you want to be and how to become that person. Life is about doing—and succeeding—at what you love. 
 
Good luck, girlie!
 

GOT YOUR OWN FAMILY FEUD? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!

 
 

BY KELLY MYSLINSKI ON 8/17/2011 2:41:00 PM

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MOD MOD MOD!!!!
Okay, so my mom and I fight A LOT! And the last oe that just happened didn't end so well...I told her I hate her and she said that she's gonna take my door down, take my radio, not give me my phone back (they took it last week) and that she was gonna get me a therapist for getting mad (???) So anyways, how am I supposed to work things out with her and not get mad? OR get her to be mad? Cause this time she got in my face and I yelled at her not to get in my face and so she grabbed it....help! Please I don't want to always be fighting with her! MY dad and 2 sisters are camping so it's me her nd my lil sis! I don't want to be mad at her forever! Please help ASAP! Thanks <3




Hey chica, sounds like you need to make an apology. I know it's hard, but you've gotta show your mom that you're mature enough not to have your stuff taken. Not sure what exactly your argument was about, but just try to see things from her point of view. She's probably just trying to keep you safe. Don't be mad at her, and definitely don't try to make her more angry.  
Carrie R.

by Jaime98766 on 7/16/2012 3:44:05 PM

 
 



MOD!
So I really want to get a facebook account so I can connect with friends over the summer. But my mom keeps saying that it "opens a whole new level of drama". I have tried to talk through it with her but she just keeps saying that! How can I convince her otherwise?




Hey girlie,

Check out this article about reasoning with parents. Take baby steps and keep calmly talking about the subject so you can each see the other's point of view! The truth is though, your mom has the final decision. So if she isn't thrilled about you getting a Facebook right now, ya gotta trust that she's making the right decision. Maybe there's a way you can compromise - maybe you can agree to wait two years, or she can hang onto your password in case she's worried about your behavior on the site. Not sure what will help her feel more comfy, but that's why you have to talk to her and ask her - you'll figure something out if you stay calm, stay mature, and keep trying!

http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/04/20/strict-parents-growing-up.aspx 
Lauren C.

by rachel_m on 7/10/2012 10:04:56 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
My mom has been bugging me about calories. I really want to lose weight and get lean and toned, but all she seems to care about is calories, calories, calories. She got mad because I had Special K cereal with Silk Milk and one piece of multi-grain toast. I didn't think that was a lot of calories. I mean she doesn't know what I will eat for lunch. I hate asking her for advice on almost anything, because I feel she doesn't understand and she doesn't speak in a soothing, enthusiastic, voice on something that is a fragile situation(my weight). She always says how skinny she was growing up and toned she was when she was 18. I am only 14 and I don't need all of that breaking me down. I honestly don't think she understands. I told her let me do my thing and she do hers. She got mad and stuff, so now I got to like lose a lot of weight to prove to her calories isn't everything. PLEASE HELP ME. Thnx. :/ I know my mom wants the best for me and loves me but if only you knew.




Hey Girl--

I'm sorry your mom is making you feel upset about your eating habits. Getting healthy is a wonderful idea but theres no reason you need to be counting calories-- diets never last. Instead, maybe you two could learn to cook healthy meals together-- lots of whole grains, veggies, protein and fruit. 




Try approaching her nicely and telling her that her tough criticisms and comparisons are doing you more harm than good. Can you talk to a nutritionist to help you plan a healthy meal plan and workout schedule?  




good luck!!  
simone s.

by andsothelionfellinlovewiththelamb on 7/10/2012 2:12:16 PM

 
 



MODMODMODMODMOD
So lately, my parents have been getting WAY TOO overprotective. Sometimes they wont let me stay in my room, they tell me to come down and be with the family. I ask my mom why, and she says "Because I dont know what your doing. You might be doing bad things on computer." So apparently my parents dont trust me Frown Also, my parents dont let me wear tank tops or short shorts. And, I have been going for daily morning runs for a couple months now, but today when I came back they said "its not safe to go alone, either find a running partner, or dont go!" And I dont have any partner who would want to go with me>Frown I am so frustrated and just feel like crying. It seems like they are ruining my lifeCry HELP PLEASE!!

 

Hey girl!  Your parents are just looking out for your wellbeing.  If they don't feel like you're safe out running alone, try doing sprints in your backyard or running on the stairs in your house.  Or ask your mom to come running with you!  It will give you guys time to talk and she may start to trust you a little more.  If the computer makes your mom nervous, tell her that she can check out what you're doing on the web history or tell her she can block bad sites.  It might seem like they are babying you, but your parents want you to be safe and healthy. Good luck! xoxo  


Kate G.

by pinkcoconut on 7/10/2012 11:39:45 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!
Okay, so my mom who has been a stay at home mom my whole life recently went back to work full time. This has been a HUGE change for me, but I know that my mom is really enjoying working again, so I have been really "go with the flow" (which is already really hard). But then today she sprung on me the fact that with the new insurance for her new job, I would have to switch doctors. She said she found a really good one, but I am really attatched to my doctor. I have had her my whole life and I feel comfortable with her. I am 16, so I will have to switch anyways in two years, but this was out of no where for me and it is freaking me out cuz I don't want to switch! I am a person who gets very nervous/anxious about medical visits and shots and stuff and usually end up in tears or on my moms lap. (it sounds bad but this is a HUGE issue for me). Help! I don't know what to do! I know I have to change, but how can I feel confortable with it?!?! HELP! PLEASE!




Hey girlie,

I totally understand where you're coming from but, like you said, you have to change the doctors because it would be a MAJOR expense otherwise. Try to keep reminding yourself just how much this will mean to your mom - she really loves working again and the whole process will be even better for her if there aren't any problems/she doesn't have any reason to feel guilty. You would've changed doctors in a couple years anyway, so try to challenge yourself to accept this change and learn from it - it'll make it easier to roll with the punches when you get older! The first couple appointments might feel awkward and it's ok to feel nervous, because it's an unfamiliar situation. But you WILL get to know your new doctor and, over time, you'll feel comfy around him/her. It's just like getting a new teacher at the start of the school year or making a new friend - it takes time to settle in! But that doesn't mean you can't do it. Take a deep breath, ask any questions you have (even if they seem silly to you), and it'll all be ok <3
Lauren C.

by emonroe26 on 7/9/2012 10:07:21 PM

 
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