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ADVICE | FAMILY | TOUGH STUFF FAMILY

25 Comments | Add Yours

My parents want to adopt another kid

 

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My parents are talking about adopting a kid. I think it’s a great idea, in theory. But I’m not sure how I really feel about it. What do you think?

 

Adoption is a tricky thing, especially since it’s not just one person that has to be considered. If your ‘rents haven’t talked to you about it seriously, you should suggest a family meeting. This should be a choice you and your family make together.

 

A new sib

Having a sibling is fun. While it does take some getting used to, it’s nice to have a brother or a sister that you can talk to and hang out with. Depending on what age child your parents are considering adding to the family, your responsibilities could vary. An infant or toddler might mean lotsa babysitting, while an older kid might tag around with you at school or on outing with friends. Remember, though: When you bring someone new into your family, that special someone will probably come with emotional baggage—and that’s not a bad thing. Just something else to consider.

 

A stranger in the family

Ask yourself if you’re really willing to open your arms to someone you’ve never met before. Having a guest for the weekend is one thing, but adoption is for forever. Could you share the bathroom, the dinner table and time with your family with a new person? Could you welcome this person into your inner circle and treat him or her like a real member of the family?

 

Only child?

If you’re an only child, adoption can be particularly hard. When you already have siblings, you know what it means to share toys, clothes, space and your parents’ attention. But when it’s just been you for your entire life, it’s hard to imagine what the changes in your household will really feel like. Sure, it may seem selfish to ask, “What about me?”, but refusing to consider the sitch until problems arise in the future is asking for trouble.

 

Give this one careful thought, sweetie, and talk it out with your parents and adoption counselors and agencies. Adoption is an incredible thing—giving someone a home and a family!—but it may or may not be the right choice for your family. Don’t be afraid to sound selfish or mean when you ask questions. This isn’t just about your parents or the child you guys might welcome into your fam; it’s about you, too.
 
GOT YOUR OWN FAMILY FEUD? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk!  
 
 

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BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 8/31/2011 3:53:00 PM

POSTED IN family, problems with my parents, adopt, how to talk to parents

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25 Comments | Add Yours
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Hey, so I have a brother who is a year older than me. Hes always been really mean to me for as long as I can remember, He dosen't hit me or anything but he says awful things to me. and always tells me what a fail i am.) . I know he's verbaly abusive to me, but when ever I tell my mom she says i'm over reacting and I need to suck it up and deal. I tried that for like 10 years, but now it's getting to the point where I can't deal, and I hate my self so much that I cut and punch my self, and i know im suicidle. I just don't know what to do.... thanks in advance.




hey! The thing to remember is that your brother does thins because of his own insecurities. You should not hate yourself because of what someone else says about you. The next time you're alone, try thinking about the things that you like about yourself. When your brother says mean things, ask yourself if you really believe that they're true of if it just hurts to hear them said. You are not overreacting, and if your mom won't help try talking to a student counselor or another trusted adult. If things get to be too much don't hesitate to go here: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx Stay strong!
Helen S.

report

by shelly_rocks on 8/31/2011 6:46:03 PM

 
 

My mom said that once. But she said that she's adopting a child once we all leave the house.

report

by NJessicaN on 8/31/2011 6:38:42 PM

 
 

weird coincidence, my friend was just talking about it with me today! her family might adopt a little girl!

Hey girls! Whether you’re obsessed with makeup or puzzled about fashion, this is the club for you. My club Beauty Queens is the best place for fashion and beauty advice and tips! You can talk about anything from clothing and makeup to health and self-confidence, because inner beauty is important too! I also post beauty quotes, surveys, and tutorials, and I’m open to suggestions!
Also check out beautiful babes bootcamp- a club devoted to making you look great inside and outside!!! It’s loaded with great tips about fitness, health, fashion, and makeup. Check it out today!
<3 <3 <3 thecupcakequeen

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by thecupcakequeen on 8/31/2011 6:10:04 PM

 
 

I have 3 little brothers, and one older sister, and two of my little brothers are adopted from Ukraine. Their names are Max, and JT and they both have Down Syndrome. They've been home since Christmas 2009 (Almost 3 years now!!) and they are sooooo amazing!
In some countries, children with special needs get put into an adult mental institution at the age of four if they have not been adopted, and die within a year from lack of food, water, and exercise. It's really heartbreaking!! But, that's not my point here.
My point is, adoption is a great thing. It's giving a child a life outside of an orphange, or foster home. I think you are worried about change in your life? Change can be a great thing. Especially in adoption. My favorite quote about adoption- "Adopting one child won't change the world, but for that child, the world will change." Try to be open minded. It'll be just like your mom having a baby, except the "baby" will probably be a little older.

report

by holyhotness13 on 8/31/2011 4:27:01 PM

 
 

oh i dont have to worry about something like this my family has 7 kids and 2 grandchildren (from my older sister who is 21 and married) i think were good for now Smile

report

by krazykotabug on 8/31/2011 4:17:15 PM

 
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