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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

Negative Nelly

 
I have a strange problem (or so I think). Sometimes, I have a positive attitude about myself and feel great. Other times, it’s the exact opposite – I feel bad about myself and my attitude is so negative.

 
Dear Positive/Negative
Sounds human to me. Everyone’s confidence goes up and down, and everyone feels insecure at times. To strengthen your self-esteem, do things that make you proud. Deepen friendships, build skills, volunteer, be helpful, play sports, whatever you love to do. In the fall, get the best grades you can. And practice listening to the little voice that says, “Way to go!” rather than the one that says “That was lame.”

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 9/10/2011 12:00:00 AM

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22 Comments | Add Yours
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Everyone calls me negative or goth because Im supa quiet in class we wear uniforms and so my attire is very limited but people still call me goth how do I change their minds IM NOT NEGATIVE OR GOTH

by llamaglitz on 4/22/2012 5:58:30 PM

 
 

Mod!
I need to lose weight, and i know most of my weight is muscle, which I think looks like crap, especially on me. I always feel like if I work out, I'll gain muscle. How do I lose weight and lose muscle?? Side note, I've been struggling with an eating disorder, so restricting my food intake is probably not a good idea. Also, eating too much is a bad idea because then I want to purge. I need to know how to lose weight while being healthy. Thanks!



Hey babe,

If you want to make your body leaner rather than build up chunky muscle, start focusing on cardio and stretching/yoga.  Take a look here for food ideas:



http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/01/04/meal-makeovers.aspx


Jordan S.

by ickiemickie3 on 4/21/2012 7:52:09 PM

 
 

MODMODMOD!
sometimes i feel like i'm too fat. My mom says that it's because mussle wheighs moor than fat and I'm fit, but like I said sometimes I don't know :/

 

Hey girl! I'll let you in on an important secret: if you are healthy, weight means nothing. Because you are tall for your age, you are bound to weigh more than some of your friends.Your body is still growing so you need to properly fuel it with whole foods like fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean protein, and good sources of fat (think almonds, natural peanut butter, and avocados). Don't pay attention to the number on a scale, it's just a number! If you are active and exercising regularly, eating foods that are good for you, and limiting junk food (who can resist a treat every now and then?!), then you have nothing to worry about!

Colleen K.

by raven.y on 2/27/2012 3:56:54 AM

 
 

Hey Madistar<3, just be sure you're constantly surrounding yourself with positivity. Your friends sound supportive, so continue hanging with them. Watch tv and movies that make you happy and listen to music that makes you feel good. Start doing hobbies and activities that you like too. Hopefully these will help your attitude! Xoxo



MOD MOD MOD!!!!
I need help.Well, you see sometimes i feel like I'm free will, and love everything about life. Other days im not. Sometimes i feel im too fat, my friends tell me I'm not, and that i only wiegh 97 lbs, and that that is little for a 13 year old, but still sometimes i get "bad thoughts" about me, and i want them to stop but i don't know how! PLZ HELP ME Lynae P.

by Madistar<3 on 1/6/2012 4:39:01 PM

 
 

Oh well, everyone is negative sometimes chica Smile

Please visit my Advice Queen page! I really like to give advice to peeps Smile just post a question and i will answer it on your profile as soon as i see it.

by basketballcutie11 on 12/23/2011 5:29:20 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!
the other day, the junior high class went skating as a good grades reward. during the whole thing, i was mostly ignored by everyone. and on the last few songs, a few people were holding friends with their bfs. it made me so jealous, i was depressed and started crying when i got home. its hard not to get jealous, knowing that everytime theres an opportunity to hang out with a bf, i dont have one. how can i not get so jealous that tons of people get a boyfriend?




Hey Doll,

Find the positive sides to not having a BF. You can hang out with your friends as much as you want without having to divide your time between a guy. In fact, you can do anything you want without having to worry about what your guy thinks. It's hard not to be jealous, but the next time you feel it, grab one of your single besties and hang out with her instead. You said only a few people were holding hands, so think about how many people are actually coupled up. You'll probably realize more people are single, so go out and have some fun!  
Rachel N.

by wishuponastar97 on 12/8/2011 5:40:49 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD Do you have any tips for being in stressful situations?? I always get really mad and don't know what to do with that anger. So I take it out on someone who doesn't deserve it!! Any advice??




Hey babe! 

Try to avoid doing that - you want your friends and fam to be there for you when you're nervous about something!  Here's an article about handling holiday stress: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2010/11/30/holiday-stress-busters.aspx and here's one on school stress: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/04/29/Stress-less-during-the-finals.aspx. Good luck! xoxox
Devin A.

by ilovegl98 on 11/21/2011 3:44:08 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
My mom and step dad are getting a divorce so ive been very emotional lately. my friends ask me whats wrong if i cry during the middle of class. for some reason i get really mad at them for asking whats wrong. i feel bad because that makes them upset but i just dont know what else to do. Please help!!!!




Hey girlie,

Try to understand that they only want to help! Obviously they can't understand what you're going through, but they want to - which is really sweet <3 Tell them thank you, but just be honest and let them know you aren't ready to talk about it yet. Instead, use a journal or artistic medium (painting, drawing, blogging, writing fiction, poetry, etc.) to get out your thoughts and feelings. It's only hurting you to keep them inside! So if you don't want to talk about it with your friends, try to use another way to get it out. It helps you organize your feelings, process them, and overcome them in the end <3 And don't forget that you CAN talk to your mom/stepdad too! They know you're going through this and, while they have their own emotions to deal with, they can definitely be there to support you.
Lauren C.

by darla123 on 11/12/2011 9:12:16 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD I am soo freaked out about getting vaccinations! I dont know why. I know they dont really hurt and they arent that bad its just I have this huge fear of them. Even just thinking about it gives me the scared shivers. I dont know what to do about it, I really would hate to have this fear cloud hanging over my head the rest of my life. Thanks in advance

 


Hey missy, sorry I can't answer your question right now! Check in with some of your other gal pals on here for advice, I'm sure they'll be willing to help you out. Thanx a bunch for understanding!!! Smile Smile


Lynae P.

by marym320 on 10/26/2011 4:00:46 PM

 
 

RAWWR!
The title, Negative Nelly, annoys me. My name is Nellie, and I am always called a negative person, which isn't true. I try to stick to my serious yet bubbly & intelligent personality. I love hanging with my girls (and <3 the guys!) so I'm usually not negative.
I love writing & advice giving. Im a deep thinker, great at solving problems. HMU, girlies !

by Purplelicous- on 9/20/2011 2:30:07 AM

 
 



MODMODMODMOD
What age of girls read GL? thx




Hey girl, 10-15 is our main demographic we aim for, but girls both above and below that range read it too!

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

by mesuchrecarpendaes on 9/19/2011 7:26:24 PM

 
 

ModModMod So I was reading the artice about addiction in the most recent issue. It was talking about how you can be addicted to things other than alcohol or drugs. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about volleyball. I am a starter and I LOVE to play. If I could play 7 days a week, I would. I am constantly thinking about how to improve my game and how to make my coach happy with me. Recently, my coach moved me to a different position because she didn't think my hitting was consistent and I started crying because I had tried so hard to impress her with my hits. When I'm not on the court, I am always thinking of new workouts to try to tone my core, arms, and legs. Plus, we have practice everyday. If I make a mistake, I loose sleep over it. Last week, we skipped a day of practice and I was nervous and restless. Also, I have a shoulder injury but I don't tell my coach when it hurts because I don't want to get benched. Am I addicetd to playing volleyball? Sorry this is so long!!!

 

Hey chica, I don't think your addicted, I just think you have a strong passion. It's people like you who excel at sports because you're dedicated to making your life better. Just be sure there's more to your life than just volleyball. Try to branch out and think about your other interests. What other hobbies do you have? So no worries chicky, you're fine. Hope this helps you!!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by Girlie77 on 9/17/2011 5:30:41 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD I NEED YOUR HELP
OK so my bff and her boyfriend broke up the next week or so he asked me on a date i said yes and we've been dating since so my bff has been spreading rumors that i lost my virginity to him now I'm called a ho please help it's getting worse and worse


 


Hey chica! First off, this girl does NOT sound like a BFF, or a friend at all for that matter. I'd confront her about it and ask her flat out why she would do that to you. It sounds to me like she's angry at you for dating her ex. Still, that doesn't make it ok to start rumors about you. Make sure to surround yourself with other friends to lean on for support until things die down...


xxx


Becca G.

by honeygirl99 on 9/11/2011 5:33:45 PM

 
 

Hi,my name is Claire. Looking for a club where you can get outfits and makeup ideas,advice,express yourself,AND JUST CHAT??? Well,♥club♥girly♥girls♥ is for you! You'll get to know others and yourself better! And no one HAS to be a huge girly girl to join Smile! Just bring yourself and your questions and answers.**************************************

by iluvmusic♥ on 9/10/2011 11:24:40 PM

 
 

modmomdomodmodmodmodmodmod I kinda got a prob. So I am in middle school and I was walking up the stairs with a friend, and this hot guy came up to me with one of the most popular guys in my grade and asked ME out. I kinda freaked out, so I played hard to get and said, 'You, no thanks!' After that was over I keep replaying it in my head.I began thinking it was my friend who they were talking to. this happened about 3 days ago, and if I tell any of my friends, they think I was lying, cuz boys don't usually go for me... HELP!

 

Hey missy, don't fret you can still fix this. If the guy was looking directly at you, he was probably talking to you. And you said boys don't usually go for you, well maybe this guy saw something in you! The next time you see him, you could walk up to him and say something like "I didn't mean what I said the other day when you asked me out. I think you're really cool and cute and would love to go out with you." He'll still probably wanna go out with you. Hope this helps!! Smile Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by buzzingbee on 9/10/2011 6:39:15 PM

 
 

Its sounds like me!!! Thats why my mum calls me bipoloar

by 526love on 9/10/2011 6:33:16 PM

 
 

 

Hey missy, if there isn't any other irritation going on down there, then it's probably not a yeast infection. Sometimes we girls have different odors going on, so try using a different stronger soap. It could also be food that you're eating that's causing the smell, so try to eat healthy! Hope this helps ya!!!! Smile Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by iluvmusic♥ on 9/10/2011 6:28:35 PM

 
 

mod mod hey im so stuck im a freshman at a school were just a few days ago i knew no 1. and since then i made some friends about 6 new friends. and last friday this older girl acme up 2 us in lunch while we were eating and she told use about these 2 clubs newspaper and mock trail. I have no intrest in mock trail. But when the girl left my friends kinda acted as if they wanted them 2 join geek club they asked me and i said maybe 2 newspaper cuz i wasnt sure and they said i shouldnt take a club and tht they arent takin a club bt im in no sports and no honor classes. i just met these ppl so they dont now tht i love 2 write and its the only club were i can write cuz i didnt want 2 join book club. thnx for the advice

 

Hey girly, you should defintely go out and join the club! If it's something you're interested in, go for it! And if these kids stop being your friend because you joined a club, they weren't your real friends from the beginning. Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by coly33 on 9/10/2011 2:10:50 PM

 
 

I think many of us feel that way. I dont think it would be good if we always thought very positive about ourselves or always felt always negative. Its better to always be positive but sometimes feeling negative gives us a chance to change things about us. Now if it goes from feeling very very great to feeling very very bad I dont think that is good.

I am not sure if this makes any sense but that is how I feel about the subject.

by luckykel on 9/10/2011 1:17:43 PM

 
 

Hey girls!

Need advice? Well, I’m here to help!
I can give advice on just about anything,:
Boys
Music
Outfits
Breakups
Sports
Workouts
Makeup
Hairstyles
And much more!

Also, if you love quotes, go check out my new club “Amazing Quotes” on my profile, and join!

Thanks!

by facebooker1240 on 9/10/2011 10:53:37 AM

 
 

If you didn't feel bad about yourself at times, you'd be incredibly narcissistic. If you didn't feel good about yourself at times, you'd be suicidally depressed. You need a good balance of both. Confidence, but a reality check every now and then.

by Stargazin1 on 9/10/2011 3:21:25 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
My best friend and I like the same guy. This has NEVER happened before. She's really shy and I'm really outgoing when it comes to guys. She has a crush on a lot of boys and I'm sure she could get any one of them. She always freaks when I talk to him because she says neither of us should make a move. But the thing is, I only like him. What should I do????? Thanks in advance. You guys are always helpful!




Whatever you do, don't let this guy come between you two. If you really like him, try talking to your friend about your feelings and take things from there Smile




Brittany G.  
Brittany G.

by kaylee4290 on 9/10/2011 12:41:53 AM

 
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