GirlsLife.com - I think my friends are talking about me

I have three best friends. I’m closer to one than the others. Sometimes she and I talk about the other two. But she and one of the others always ride bikes to school and hang out at each other’s houses. And I’m worried that they talk about me, too.

Dear Upset,

They probably do. But, oh well, you can’t have it both ways. And while they may indeed gossip, I doubt they’re vicious. Don’t worry. As Oscar Wilde said, “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 9/27/2011 4:13:00 PM

well ever since i moved to secondary school everything changed well at the start of the year i was still friends with my 2 friends from primary school and i'm friends wth one of them now and shes my only friend in school. i don't exactly what happened with my othert friend but i think its over one guy. all 3 of was liked that one guy but my friend lets call her andy told me to tell him she liked him i didn't want to but i did she wouldn't leave us alone until she went out with him she couldn't handle him so that relationship didn't work she kinda tried to make us jealous but it didn't work. so one day my friend and i lets call her tina said that we should ask her for the guys number i said i'll do it but andy took it the wrong way and thought i wanted to ask him out and she got really angry even though they were broken up andy was going to tina's house that day and she started saying stuff about me she never talked to us again. when she does it's really awkward. i wana sort things out?

MOD!
Hi, I've been having some friend trouble lately. I have two best friends who are from different groups. I brought one girl, K, to meet my other friend, H. A few days later K said I act differently around H. She sent me a really long text with several examples as to how I act differently but they were all small things, such as I use more colorful language around H, and that I describe things differently. My parents told me just to ignore these, so I didn't text her back. She then sent 36 texts over the next 4 hours. Her mood changed within those from 'why aren't you texting me back?' to 'I told you so' to mad to threatening to caring, but the care felt fake. Then she told me a list of mean things I'd ever said to her after I finally texted her back. I feel like she's attacking me and our friendship is different now. I feel it's really forced to talk to her. Should I try to talk it out in person or just hope it gets better or...? Help!

hey! It sounds like your friend is being a little verbally abusive and obsessive. I don't think you should respond to her texts because it doesn't really sound to me like you've done anything wrong. If she keeps harassing you i think you should tell a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult. good luck to you!

Helen S.

by rainydaze82 on 6/30/2012 2:17:35 PM

MOD MOD!!
My group always hangs out together. theres one girl who assumes everyones her friend. she was gossiping about my friend from our group and saying the story totally wrong. i never said anything except "Well, 'so and so's' my friend. theres no point in arguing with her. now i'm wondering, should i have stuck up for her more?

Hey! engaging in that kind of talk just would have made the girls say more mean things. speak your mind but if you think it's just going to lead to unproductive insults you don't have to say anything.

by Jellybean101 on 4/27/2012 8:49:17 PM

MOD MOD MOD
My "friend" is not a very good "friend"
She sent me an email at 10:36 telling me what to wear for the next day's V-Shows audition but obviously i wasn't checking my email last night at that time. WHen I checkied it the next day I sent an email of rampaging ON and on about her to my friend. Apparently, she got it to. Now what do I do. I know she likes me and I don't really like her. (she talks about us behind our backs alot) but I don't wanna hurt her. What should I do. Today I checked my email and she fired back an email saying that next time I should check who i send my emails to. Please HELP!!!!!

Hey girl,

The truth is, you were feeling frustrated with the way she was treating you, so you vented. Unfortunately, it didn't stay private! But you gotta own up to it - you wrote it, so there's no getting outta this one. Go up to her IN PERSON (not through email - see how messy they can make things?) and apologize for sending the email, because you realize talking behind her back is not the way to solve any problems or frustrations you have. Then, tell her how she made you feel. Just tell her you're your own person and your life can't be run by someone else. Be civil and calm, but honest. She might get upset, but as long as you stay respectful and take the high road, you'll be doing the right thing.

Lauren C.

by syara20 on 4/26/2012 6:48:40 PM

i have the same problem. except i told one of them what the other one (the closer one) said about them. she's really mad at me. i only did it out of anger cuz she was hanging out more with another one of my friends. its a whole mess. she said the only way she'll forgive me is if i tell her what the other two said about her. HELP

You're right to be skeptical about telling her what the others said -- it's not your place to say! You'll have to explain to her that you were angry that you felt she was leaving you out, though that doesn't justify gossiping. If you say you won't do it anymore, she will hopefully forgive you and include you more!

Meghan D.

by abigail11 on 4/21/2012 9:07:42 AM

by josie12 on 4/11/2012 6:04:16 AM

Becca G.

is modding

Lauren R.

is modding

I think my friends are talking about me

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