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GUYS | DATING 101 | SPLITSVILLE

How can I get over my ex?


 
I haven't been able to get over my ex for the longest time, longer then a year, and sometimes I just tell myself that it's impossible. I don't want to like him. He has a GF, he's a player, he cheated on me and won't admit it, and he is always cheating on his current GF. She and I are friends, but he flirts with me all the time, and I flirt back. But he also flirts with everyone. I want him out of my head, and I want to move on. Any tips?
 
It’s definitely not impossible – you’ve already taken the first step by admitting you want to move on. You’ve already recognized all of the characteristics you don’t like about him (reasons which are totally valid, by the way!), so figure out what’s keeping you from moving forward. If you can pinpoint what’s holding you back, you’ll be able to plan the best way to stop dwelling on the past.

Are you having a hard time moving on because you two share a past together? While it’s tempting to like someone because it’s comfortable or because he already knows you, you’re still young, and you have so many more people to meet. It’s better to move on now than to keep stringing yourself along only to end up unhappy later. Do you find him good-looking? Physical attraction is important in a relationship, but trust is important too, and your guy sounds like he doesn’t deserve your trust (or his girlfriend’s). And if you’re friends with his girlfriend, you shouldn’t risk ruining that friendship for a chance at a relationship with someone you know isn’t a good guy.

If you’re still having trouble drawing yourself away from your ex, make an effort to talk to at least one new guy every week. Your friends will be more than happy to help you scope out some cuties at school. Once you realize how sweet that guy in your chemistry class is, you’ll wonder why you ever wanted to be with your ex in the first place.

 

BY MEGHAN DEMARIA ON 10/12/2011 7:00:00 AM

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MOD MOD MOD .... Im So Upset And Depressed and Scared to Go To School Now...My Ex Told Me He Heard a Rumor that I Still liked him so He Sent me a text on Facebook and said that he Never liked me and then he told me to get over him cause its never gonna happen ! And now im hearing he is saying that He Wan'ts his old Girlfriend Back And Now Im Furious. I Feel Like I Got Used, I Don't Want to go to school and see his face cause i might start crying and im really upset on what he said to me! What can i do...!




Hey girl,

You can do this! It may feel impossible to get over this guy and keep it together at school, but he was SO nasty to you - that's a major motivation to look good, feel good, and move on asap so he sees that you aren't going to let him bring you down. Hold your head high and fake that confidence until you feel it for real. Chat with your friends, laugh and act laid back...all normal things. You should be upset about what he said to you, but that doesn't mean you should let it make you cry/feel inferior. He showed you his bad side, and you wouldn't want to trust someone like that anyway! So perk up, think positive about all the people you can meet this year/this summer, all the new experiences you can have, and how fun it can be to be single. And don't give him another thought! <3
Lauren C.

by mozilla10 on 4/1/2012 9:54:59 AM

 
 

My ex and I broke up a few months ago. I wasn't entirely over him yet, but I met a new guy and we started going out. Thing is though my new bf and my ex are cousins and best friends. I didn't really know that until the other night when my bf told me he was hanging out with my ex. My bf told me that my ex said some mean things about me. A while later my ex texted me and said I was just trying to make him jealous and that my current bf had talked about me badly too. I am so confused, upset, and hurt!

Any advice??

by softball151 on 3/5/2012 9:55:09 AM

 
 

I have the same problem heres my story: Ok my first crush was in 4th grade and he was the kind of guy who was "dating" people in fourth grade so at school we hung out a lot and this one time i got tied to a pole (really long story) he rescued me and since then he was my knight in shining armor after that i had sort of had fantasys that he would tell me he liked me and life would go on nothing like being together forever. We talked, liked the same music, and in an after school thing we would sing together. We were close and we liked to tease each other. Then i heard he was moving and on the last day i sent him an email saying i liked him and i asked if he liked me too and he said no i like someone else. I was like kinda nerdy and tom-boyish but I really thought we had a connection. After he told me he liked someone else he had to move with his dad to Kansas and I still talk to him now on fb but I'm dating another guy and sometimes I can't stop thinking about my old crush in Kansas

by hisayzme on 2/4/2012 10:32:31 AM

 
 

Hey gigglesxo198, I don't think you should have to give it back. For one, it was a gift and you never return gifts. Two, since you guys are trying to keep your friendship going, giving the bracelet back could make things akward and reinforce that you two had a relationship. Hope this helps!! Xoxo



mod mod mod mod mod!
Okay so my boyfriend and i broke up last week, and before that we were really good friends and we still are, but we promised each other that things wouldn't get akward between us. We broke up like a week after christmas so, he got a pandora bracelet and a charm and i'm not sure if i should give it back to him. half of my friends say yes and the other half say no. I wanna do the right for both of us, but i don't know what is the right thing. PLease help im soooo lost!
Thanks Lynae P.

by gigglesxo198 on 1/6/2012 3:21:53 PM

 
 

i really want to brake up with my boyfriend but he is sooo sweet and i dont want to hurt his feelings but i still like him a little but then i dont like him help

by hayhay123 on 12/25/2011 8:19:13 PM

 
 

my ex and i broke up about three months ago. we are still friends but he sends me mixed signals. he talks to me on the phone for an hour one day and then a different day he ignores my texts. idk whats going through his mind. any ideas?

by TTRockz on 12/23/2011 4:44:30 AM

 
 

ok I'm like 10 am i have like one pimple on my head, will i ever get a boyfriend again my friends say I will but I'm just not sure,I need dating tips and fast.

by darkdevildiva10 on 12/17/2011 3:51:06 PM

 
 

I just broke up with with my old bf, I still like him and I like another guy, should I try with him or go back to my old bf.I'm sooooooo confused and I need help.

by darkdevildiva10 on 12/17/2011 3:47:54 PM

 
 

ok heres my problem, he got tied up with this girl and now he wants to be in a relationship, and i do too, but he talks about her and he says that their just friends and i believe him but this girl like broke his heart, but he says that hes over her, good or bad choice to go out with him

by meganballs on 12/8/2011 6:27:30 PM

 
 

I have a huge problem; I like two guys and I think they're both gonna ask me out soon! Should I drop the one and focus on the other? What if I do that and then the other asks me out first? What should I say?!?!

by horseyluver on 12/6/2011 7:46:07 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
I have major acne. Ever since i turned like 13 (im 15 now) my face always breaks out. I try everything from spot medication to washes and exfoiliaters. Nothing works. Pleassseeee help, each morning i have to get on up and pile on make up (i even tried skin clearing make up) to go places. Plus my face gets so oily in through out the day, its rediculous. I read online to try a honey face mask, would that help?


 


Lynae P.

by joey on 11/30/2011 5:39:44 PM

 
 


MOD MOD MOD
Ok so its been i year since me and my boyfriend broke up, he was the first boyfriend i've had (im 15) and my first kiss. He broke up with me for another girl. I can't get over him, hes always in my head. I dont want to like him, but somethings keeping me from moving on, i guess its the fact that he had a way with words and a sweet personality. Hes a player. Any suggestions on how to move on? I don't like any other guys. Please help, i cant stop thinking about him. I always daydream that we get back together but i doubt that will ever happen. pleasseeeee help


 


Lynae P.

by joey on 11/30/2011 5:36:05 PM

 
 

Man, that happened to me last year! Hold on there, and just try to think of other things, and use the advice GL has given you. Stay Strong, and that dude doesn't deserve you!

by Singeratheart on 11/27/2011 7:56:40 PM

 
 

Hey, I think When he starts to flurt with you say Please ,stop! You have a GF, And tell his GF that he flirts with other girls not nessaseral say your name but say (his name) Has been flurting with other girls just a fair warning Just try and see were you end up! GOOD LUCK!

by koolknees on 10/17/2011 11:54:02 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I like this guy named Christian, but there's a problem. He's my friend Kiara's boyfriend! He said he thinks I'm hot, but not to tell Kiara. He said he won't cheat on her, but I'm afraid he might! I told my Mom and she said the best thing to do is to tell him that I like him, but that Kiara is still my friend and you respect her and that you don't want to lose her trust and friendship. I like that idea, but what else should I do? It feels like he wants to date me, but still, Kiara! If she finds out I like him and thinks I've been doing things, Kiara will hate me! Please help!
Jordan




Hey Jordan,

Mom's advice is great on this one! Tell him exactly how you feel and stand your ground. You wouldn't want someone - especially Kiara - flirting or cheating with your boyfriend, so you definitely don't want to do it to her. Treat him as a friend right now and support Kiara in whatever she wants to do. After they break up and some time passes, you could probably try to date Christian if you still feel the same way (and if Kiara has moved on, of course). But for now, he's off the market - ESPECIALLY because he's dating Kiara. Be respectful...and thank Mom for the good advice Smile
Lauren C.

by cheerrox1111 on 10/13/2011 10:13:15 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD Okay so I need to know what I should do in this situation. I have a huge crush on this boy, and I have tried not to, but he is just wonderful. He is everything I look for in a guy. and everytime I learn something more about him, it's even better. Except for the fact that he has a girlfriend. I would never purposely break them up so I'm trying to keep my distance. But I want to just get to know him, even to just be his friend. Do you think this is okay? I'm not planning on trying to steal him from his girlfriend, I just want to become friends with him. Thanks!

 

Hey girlie,

Absolutely! As long as you keep your convos platonic (that means "friendly," without flirting or other motives), it's totally fine Smile in fact, that's a great strategy - become his friend now and let him get to know you better and better. Then, if he breaks up with his GF, you're already close to him Smile

Lauren C.

by caseyf13 on 10/13/2011 5:28:57 PM

 
 

is there a mod here?

by wednesday1408 on 10/12/2011 10:29:48 PM

 
 

MOD MOD Please respond! So I like this guy, and he's in afterschool with me and a video class. All during video class, I see him look at me, but I don't know if that means anything. And afterschool the other day, we were on the computers, and we were just randomly googling things and it was just a good time. Like whenever we talk, he always looks me in the eyes, and it's like the perfect moment...but idk if it's the same the other way around. I saw him again today, and since I missed video class, I asked him what I missed, and he started talking about this story and it's just amazing talking to him. He kind of makes fun of me sometimes...and I just seee him looking at me all the time! Do you think he likes me? Please respondd!!!!! Thanks! MOD MOD

 

Hey girly, yeah he may like you girl! Flirt a little bit and let him know the feeling's mutual! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by hello_smiley_sunshine_girl on 10/12/2011 8:03:03 PM

 
 

ew he sounds mean. i dont like guys like that.

by Ekgurl on 10/12/2011 7:34:30 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD How do i break up with a guy without being rude?

 

Hey missy, it can be hard to break up with someone. You just have to be as nice and honest as you can. Just think of how you would want to someone to end things with you. I would call them or do it in person, and say something like "I don't think we should go together anymore. I still like you just not in that way. I had a lot of fun with you, so hopefully we can still be friends. But I think I need to be single and focus on me. I never wanted to hurt your feelings, but I think things would just be better if we didn't date." Not those exact words, but something around there. Hope this helps! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by italdancer9 on 10/12/2011 7:30:17 PM

 
 

Dear MOD Ok well this guy has been asking me out everyday for almost 6 months now. He also is doing the same to my best friend. Even when i am dating someone. How do i tell him to back off?

 

Hey missy, you just have to be straightforward with him. He's obviously not getting the hint after 6 months, so I would just tell him. I don't want to go out with you. Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by polkadotruby7 on 10/12/2011 7:27:11 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD (and anyone else with good advice!) my boyfriend and i just broke up because he has some issues he needs to work past by himself, and its to much for him to have a relationship right now and he doesn't want to fight anymore about whats going on. We both still really like each other, but he was trying to do what's best, but we still really like each other and want to maybe go out again once he works through whats going on in his life. We we're really close before we went out and we're still friends now. He asked me what i was gonna do about Homecoming now that we broke up. I told him we could still go together as friends if he want's. I don't want it to be awkward tho, because we don't go to the same school, and he wouldn't really know anyone but me. And he's not sure if he'll go with me because a few years back his brother went to homecoming with his ex, and my ex said his brother said it was really awkward. What do you think we should do?

 

Hey chica, it won't be akward if you don't treat it like an akward situation. Just go with him with the intention of having fun. If you just think positive and think about having fun, you guys will. Dance enjoy the music and everything should be okay. Let me know if this helps!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by musicgirl<3 on 10/12/2011 5:50:09 PM

 
 

WOW! WE MUST BE REALLY ALIKE! IM HAVING THE EXACT SAME PROBLEMS. MY BOYFRIEND CHEATED ON ME AT THE BEGINNNG OF THIS PAST SUMMER. I was at a friends birthday party on my way home, and he texted me saying "hi..... i cheated on you.:/" i didnt know what to do except to cry my heart out. Luckily i was with my best friends so they helped me through everything. Ive tried getting over him but its to difficult. Especially since i see him in the school hallways. He has a new gf tht im kinda friends with but never talk to. Me and him dont talk to each other ever. We both got invited to the same birthday party so it was really awkward. Because he kept telling everyone to push me in the pool or to spread cupcake icing in my hair and on my face. Im kinda jealous about his new girlfriend but i know getting back together with him would be the worst decision in the world. Smile

by aggies24/7 on 10/12/2011 5:44:55 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!! my use to be boyfreinds best friend sent me a text saying that "were braking up" and then i talked to him the next day and he said it was a mistake that he sent that..but my friend called me and left a voicemail saying "hi the is devin im breaking up with u...call me back bye" and SHE FAKED HIS VOCIE and she was the one who told me to go out with me..so the next day i broke up with him in front of his friend and he laughed and yelled "YES" and then all of his freinds started clapping!!..i feel soo embaressed!! PLEASE HELP ME NOWW!!!

 

Hey girly, that guy sounds lame! He could've been mature and just told you himself. No worries girl. Just know you have your whole life to date. There will be plenty of other guys out there who will love to be your boyfriend. This jerk doesn't know what he's giving up. I know you are hurting on the inside, which is okay. Who isn't sad after a breakup? But whenever you're around him or his friends, act confident and not like you're sad at all. You don't what him to think he's made you feel bad. The best revenge is to show him that you're happy and doing better without him. So maybe get dressed up, do something with your hair, maybe wear a little makeup to show him you didn't need him. There's a Beyonce song titled "New Shoes" that I want you to listen too. It's about a woman who broke up with a man, who's relationship was a little different than yours, but now she's fly and doing so much better without him. She says she's walking in"new shoes" It will make you feel better. Let me know if I can help you out anymore girl!!! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by GOALIEROCK1301 on 10/12/2011 5:22:52 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD URGENT!!! k so my bgf is also my crush now and he is sending mixed signals. we have a school dance friday (so this is super urgent cuz i need to know to know by tomorrow!) and i dont even know if he's going. but I would REALLY like him to ask me. idk what to do, and like i said idk if he even likes me!!! should I ask him? omg i am so nervous! thank youuuuu! xoxo ReeRee

 

Hey missy, sometimes we can't sit around and wait we have to take charge. Sooo I would suggest you ask him! Think of it as just asking a friend out, because essentially that's what he is. Do it casually, try something like "Hey are you going to the dance? Wanna go together?" It might take some of the pressure off if you guys go with a big group of friends. Let me know if this helps! Smile Smile

Lynae P.

by dramaqueen122 on 10/12/2011 5:20:17 PM

 
 

MOD!
Hi! So I've convinced myself that I'm going to talk to my crush tomorrow in the one class I have with him - gym. I'm petrified, because this is the first time that I'm going to try talking to him. It's like, 2 months into the school year, so will he think it's weird that I haven't spoken to him at all before now? And since he's shy, do you think he'll talk to me, or should I really talk to him tomorrow? Thanks SO much!!




Hey girlie!

Just do it! I promise you that nobody will ever be like "ew...why are you talking to me?" because every person I know loves making a new friend.  It'll go well!  I promise! No, he won't think it's strange.
Jordan S.

by uni301 on 10/12/2011 4:51:47 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD

I have the same problem, well..its a little different. I havn't got over this guy for three years! You see when I got out of primary school, I got into an all girls school, I know whats holding me back and thats because I feel like he's the only one I'm going to meet because I don't meet guys since there arn't any around! How can I meet more guys? I wish this evil guy would just get out of my head for good.

by cindy5218 on 10/12/2011 4:47:25 PM

 
 

Hey I'm sorry Frown Try finding someone new that interests you to keep you're mind off that jerk

by StupidChick on 10/12/2011 3:09:04 PM

 
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