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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

My older BF is moving way too fast...


 
My BF is 16, and I am 12. Usually when we hang out, he kisses me before he leaves, but the other day, we were in my room and he turned out the lights and got very close and made out with me, and, well, you know. Do you think he’ll try to make me not a virgin?


Dear Too Young,
That is a huge age difference! I suggest you break up before things get even more complicated. Tell him, “I’ve realized I’m not ready for such a serious relationship…” Or take the easy way out and blame it on your parents. Tell him they won’t let you see him anymore. If you do stay with him, avoid being alone in the dark and explain very clearly that you are nowhere near ready for sex. Don’t be defensive or apologetic. Be comfortably definite. When girls have sex at your age, it is usually coerced, not consensual. If anyone “makes” another person have sex, that’s not intimacy – it’s rape. Moreover, though laws vary from state to state, having sex with someone your age could be considered statutory rape.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 10/21/2011 7:00:00 AM

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This is really weird, but at school, we were watching videos about the columbine Shooting and Rachel's Challenge (an anti-bullying program at my school) and I think the 2 shooter guys are really cute, sort of like I have a crush on them? During the Rachel's Challenge video, I cried. Everyone at/in my school cried. I know what those 2 Kids did was wrong, but is it wrong that I feel this way? I haven't told anyone yet because I'm afraid of what people will think. What should I do? I don't want to keep it a secret all my life! Please help!
Briana

 

Hey hun, it's not weird. You're not saying you support their actions, you just find them attractive. It's not like you can actually date them. I don't think it's a big deal and you don't have to discuss it with anyone. A lot of times girls are attracted to bad guys, but that doesn't make them bad people. 

Amalia E.

by JBfan97 on 10/24/2011 8:01:02 AM

 
 



***MOD MOD MOD***
My guy best friend (who is also my neighbor) has been going out with my girl best friend for over a month. My guy best friend and I were walking home from school and he told me that they made-out the weekend before. I told him not to go any further (he's 13 and she's 12 but turning 13 soon) and he said "when she's ready. I'm not going to pressure her or anything." but they've talked about having...'it' with eachother. I don't want them to do anything stupid! What should I do? Thanks in advance!




Hey girlie,

I know you're trying to help, but remember this is their relationship and, ultimately, they can decide what they feel ready for. It seems like he respects her and understands not to push her past what she's ready to do. That's great, because pressuring her into "it" would be way wrong. The best thing to do would just be to have a girl talk with your bestie about her relationship and where things are going. If she starts talking about their convo or about considering doing "it," don't freak out and don't act like her mother. Just tell her something like, "Just make sure you think it through! I support you and don't want you to rush into something that you might regret. And hey - if you do do it, make sure you know all the ways to be safe." You're looking out for her and you can't change her mind if she decides to go ahead with it - but you can make sure she knows you love her and she has someone to talk to about this!
Lauren C.

by SabbyBellz on 10/23/2011 10:00:06 AM

 
 

Yikes! Break up now before your parents find out that you made out with your boyfriend and kill him!!!!

by Puppy9503 on 10/23/2011 1:05:34 AM

 
 

You need to end this relationship right now! before its too late!

by streeks220 on 10/22/2011 11:35:45 PM

 
 

a 16 year old boy dating a 12 year old girl? hate to break it to you, but he obviously is just using you. find someone your own age, if you want a healthy and pressure free relatioship...

by streeks220 on 10/22/2011 11:31:31 PM

 
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