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ADVICE | FRIENDS | DEAR CAROL FRIENDS

92 Comments | Add Yours

My friends are using me!

 

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My two so-called friends came over and hadn’t been in my house more than 10 minutes when they asked, “Can we go in your hot tub?” I asked my mom if it was OK, and she said something I had never thought about. She asked me if they were actually my friends or if they were just using me. Then I realized it was true—they were just using me so they could use my hot tub. This makes me feel so sad and lonely.

 

Dear School Is One Big Popularity Contest,

School is one big popularity contest only if you choose to buy into all that. So try not to. If these girls are never nice to you except when they want to have a soak, that stinks. But if you hang out with them sometimes outside of the hot tub, that’s OK if they wanna hit the tub now and then.

 

Think about all this before totally writing them off, but take advantage of the new school year to get to know different girls, too. Is there someone you can be yourself with and laugh with and confide in? She’s a keeper. And while it is possible to have dozens and dozens of very close friends, it is ideal to have many different friends along with a handful of true-blue ones.
 
 

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.


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BY CAROL WESTON ON 10/25/2011 5:38:00 PM

POSTED IN bust my bestie problem, bad friend, dear carol solves BFF probs, I want to be popular, I'm feeling left out, can I trust my friend, advice from Carol Weston

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92 Comments | Add Yours
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MOD MOD MOD
I have a friend, Lexi, that I've talked to but never hung out with and I initiated that me and her hang out next weekend and she sounded okay with it. Well I found out this morning that my best friend, Libby, is having her birthday party the same day. I would feel bad ditching Lexi but I would feel bad missing Libby's party. I have no idea how to fix this.




Hey girlie,

No worries! It's still early enough that if you text her NOW, you can avoid any drama. Say something like - "Hey! I am so sorry, I just remembered I already had plans for Saturday Frown ugh my memory is awful. Can you hang out on Sunday instead? Maybe we could get lunch!" That way, you're not lying at all and you show her you DO want to hang out by suggesting an alternative.  Smile It'll be ok!
Lauren C.

report

by myclique on 3/8/2012 5:25:38 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
i've been really annyoed with one of my best friends lately. shes telling people not to trust me, she's always swearing at me, calling me names, and putting me down. this stuff happenes mostly at school but it happens when we're alone to but usually when we're alone she's fine. i don't wanna just ditch her though cuz she has a lot of issues like cutting and eating disorders and family problems but she NEVER talks about them to me but she'll talk about them to EVERYONE else. she's always looking for attention but she never does it in a good way. i've tried being the bigger person and talking to her aobut it but it never helps and i've also done what she's doing back but she just tells everyone im a b*****. what do i do? i feel like i cant just stop talking to her cuz she needs support right now but i cant deal with her constantly putting me down and swearing at me.

 

Hey girl, I'm glad you've tried to talk to her and was the bigger person. I think you just need to give her, her space. Hang out more with your other close friends for a bit, take your mind of it. She will come to you if she needs help. But for now, I think definitely just give her time. 


lauren r.

report

by dancerchic_4 on 3/7/2012 6:36:10 PM

 
 

one of my friends in my class was nice at first, but the more i got to know her i knew that she was super annoying. then she said something really mean to me and so after that i really didnt hang out with her as much. but i still wanted to be friends with her just not close friends. so ive been hanging out with her but not as much as before.she only had me and some other girl as her friends and a bunch as she claimed at her old school. so weve been hanging out more since, but today me, her, and the other girl were in the bathroom fixing our hair when she said the other girl was her best friend when the other girl doesnt hang out with her as much. what do i do to be her best friend without being really close friends

report

by puppies11 on 3/1/2012 5:53:44 PM

 
 

Mod Mod Mod!! Okay so I really liked this boy, and my old BFF ( for 6 years) is his girlfriend. Last year she stopped talking to me. Two weeks ago I told 3 friends that I liked him. Today I found out that she knows I like him. I don't know if she is mad at me or not. I am over him, but I don't want her to spread rumors, or her hate me. What should I do?? Thanks Callie

 

Hey Callie620, you could try talking to her. Since you two don't talk let one of her friends know that you don't feel that way about her bf anymore. That way she'll know the truth. Hope this helps! Xoxo

Lynae P.

report

by Callie620 on 2/24/2012 3:55:05 PM

 
 



Mod mod mod.....there is a new girl in my p.e. class and she seems shy and lonely.....but I also heard (a weeks since she got here)that other girls want to fight her. She seems shy, but I hear differently. I feel bad it seems lik she has no friends.....what should I do? I need help!




Hey girlie,

You're really sweet to be concerned about her! Since you're noticing she might be lonely and friend-less right now, why not talk to her in class? Even if you don't become BFFs, just reaching out and asking her about herself (where she came from, if she likes her new town, what she likes) could make her whole day. To feel like you aren't TOTALLY unwanted at high school means a lot, so you'd probably make her smile just by reaching out <3
Lauren C.

report

by bandnerds41698 on 2/17/2012 11:03:58 PM

 
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