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ADVICE | FAMILY | DEAR CAROL FAMILY

My parents drink too much

 

 

Dear Bad Situation,

You can’t make them stop, but you are not alone and can get help for this very serious problem. There are many support systems for kids. Alcoholism is a common disease that wreaks havoc on many families. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is an organization that helps people swear off drinking, one day at a time. Alateen is part of AA and is for kids who have family members with drinking problems.

 

Visit www.aa.org or www.al-anon.alateen.org. Or call 1-88-4AL-ANON on weekdays—the call does not show up on your phone bill.

 

If possible, enlist an aunt, uncle, grandparent or other adult relative who doesn’t drink to help you confront your parents with compassion, not accusations. Some people throw loved ones a “surprise party” with an agenda. Several near and dear ones gather to say, “We’re worried about you and love you too much to watch you drink your life away. You need to get help.” The drinkers’ first response is likely to be anger and denial. But, eventually, many drinkers become ex-drinkers. Good luck.
 
 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 10/26/2011 2:50:00 PM

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Mod,
I am graduating high school this year & am writing scholarship essays. My father struggled with alcoholism and went to treatment. Well... unfortunately, he's rlapsed. I don't know what to do because my mom doesn't seem very concerned. I hate this. I just want to cry! Plus my mom doesn't want anyone finding out about his problem. Do you think it would be too personal for me to talk about in my scholarship essay? Any other advice?
Thanks.
PS to bad situation, i'm sorry you're going through this. I know how it feels. Hang in there because things get better if your parents get help. Make sure you support them & tell them how you feel. Best wishes, girl. I hope things work out for you.




Hey girlie,

I don't think that's too personal to write about - as long as you feel comfortable being truthful about it, strong enough to bring up all those memories, and honest enough not to exploit it (aka use the trauma to make you seem more deserving). Make sure you have a point, too - maybe it's taught you something surprising about yourself, your life, or something totally unrelated. Think of it like a story. As for your mom, she's probably used to the situation and trying to downplay how concerned she really is - just so she doesn't make anyone else nervous or upset. Just try to be there to support everyone involved and try to show your dad how much you love him, care about him, and want to see him better <3
Lauren C.

by djdangerjonasluver on 2/16/2012 7:07:46 PM

 
 

I know how it feels to be affected by alcoholism to the extent of feeling helpless and vulnerable. I have been going to Alateen meetings regularly for two and a half years, and it honestly saved my life. You don't have to suffer alone. Everyone will welcome you with open arms, and the program follows the principle of anonymity so you never have to worry about your situation being reported to any outside party. When you get there, one slogan you will hear is the three C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. A bit of advice though: go to at least six meetings to really get a feel for what the program is about before deciding on whether or not to continue with it. I promise that if you walk into the room with an open mind and heart, you will walk out of it a stronger, wiser, and better-equipped young woman who can handle anything that's thrown her way. Good luck, girl!

by cellardoor on 2/5/2012 7:40:05 PM

 
 

I know what it's like to be affected by alcoholism to such an extent. Alateen worked for me; I've been attending meetings regularly for about two and a half years now, and it honestly saved my life. You don't have to struggle alone, and everyone in the rooms welcomes with open arms. A bit of advice: go to at least six meetings before deciding if it's for you to get a feel for what the program is about. Oh, and one slogan you may hear when you get there is the three C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. I promise if you walk into the room with an open mind and heart, you will walk out a stronger, wiser, and more loving person. Good luck!

by cellardoor on 2/5/2012 7:20:55 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD!!! Okay so my parents have been arguing and they just recently are considering divorce,the day that i heard about it i couldn't pay attention in class or anything all I felt like doing was crying! How can I stop their divorce from happening or just make it easier to go through for all of us?




hey girly! unfortunately there is nothing that you can do to stop the divorce. but you can talk about it with your parents to get a better understanding of the situation. there is probably a lot that you dont know about the reasons they are fighting and knowing what is going on may help you deal with the stress.  
Ana D.

by 1Polar_Bear on 2/3/2012 2:12:23 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!
I went through a tough period recently where i had extremely low self esteem that i stopped eatign and almost had to go to therapy and i want to get a tatoo on the back of my wrist that says Just Beleive , the only problem is I know my parents would never go for it! What do I do?

 

Hey girl. I went through the same thing, and once I was 18, one of my best girl friends actually paid for the tattoo that says "Let It Be." It is a great reminder whenever I'm feeling low. But the thing is I waited a few years to make sure it was exactly what I wanted. Plus, I didn't want to upset my parents. If i were you, I would get a drawing done of the tattoo that you want. And wait...just to make sure its exactly what you want, and get it done when you're old enough. At that point it's much more worth it and will mean more in the end then just getting it right away and upsetting your family. Trust me! 


lauren r.

by musicgrl98 on 1/28/2012 4:10:42 PM

 
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