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GUYS | DATING 101 | DUDES DECODED

24 Comments | Add Yours

Break-up then make-up: Rebuilding trust


 

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I recently started dating this guy that I really like. We dated last year, but ended on a rather unhappy note. Now that we are back together, I can't help but notice a difference in the way he acts with me. Before, he used to always be very open about telling me how he felt for me, but now he hardly shares his feelings like that. I was just wondering if maybe there was a reason he is acting like this, or if I'm just imagining things.

First off, girlie, you gotta lay everything out in front of you before you dive in head-first and start thinking too much into it. What exactly were the circumstances last time: Did he break up with you? Did you break up with him? What were the reasons? Get the facts out in the open, as our minds have a tendency to rewrite history. The worst thing you can do when you're trying to tackle a problem is over-think it.

You say you've dated him in the past, right?  If you were the one to end the relationship, he may have some lingering doubts from the last time you two were together.  Chances are, he feels like he did something wrong last time and now he's on edge trying to make sure not to do anything for fear of getting the same bad reaction from you.  Think about it for a sec. If you were him, second time around, wouldn't you be super cautious?

If that's not the case, it's also possible that other things may be going on his life, things that don't involve any problems with your relationship. Boys act strange sometimes.  Actually, even we girls are guilty of that, too. We all have several different elements of our life: school, work, sticky sitches with friends, trouble with the parentals, etc.

Your best bet, babe, is to talk to him about it.  Go up to him and tell him you’ve noticed he’s been less forthcoming this time around and ask if something's wrong.  He may be rather confused or caught off-guard at first, so explain to him the signals you’ve been noticing. Communication is key. Good luck!
 
 
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BY JORDAN SARNOVSKY ON 11/9/2011 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN guys, dating advice, GL's best guy advice, boyfriend Q & A, ex boyfriend Q & A, weird guy stuff

< PREVIOUS   NEXT >   

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24 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 



MOD! MOD!!
So, my bf is coming over tomorrow, wer in the process of rebuilding our relationship and my mom invited him. My sis said it will be awkward, and it will take alot to regain her trust from him. I dont want her to hate him. What should I do?




Hey girlie,

It's probably true - it probably will be awkward, and yes it will take some time before everyone trusts him again. But the important thing is that he's trying! If you're both willing to work on the relationship and he's making an effort to be trustworthy, honest, respectful, etc. ... then you're going in the right direction. Tell your family that their support means a lot to you, so if they could try to give him a second chance you would really appreciate it. And if you show your family that he is treating you well and he makes you happy, it might help them see him in a more positive way!
Lauren C.

report

by allisonwostn on 6/30/2012 11:44:23 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD!!! My bf and I have been dating for almost 9 months and just recently his parents are getting a divorce. I know this is a really tough time for him but I don't know what to say to him. I obviously can't say "oh it's okay" or "everything will be alright babe" because at this point that's probably not what he wants to hear. I just don't know what I can say to him. I know nothing I say can change anything but I just want to see him happy again. Is there anything I can say to brighten his mood even the slightest bit or to show him that I'm hear to listen and that I care? Thanks!




Hey girlie,

Try to observe his mood and see how he wants to deal with this. If he wants to talk about it, let him. Support him and be a good listener. If he wants to ignore it, be there for him to take his mind off it with fun outings, cooking together, a movie, a funny story, etc. Just go with the vibe he gives ya and don't beat yourself up if you get it wrong sometimes. He's going through some pretty heavy stuff, so you being there to help him will mean a lot Smile
Lauren C.

report

by Tay12zdot on 12/2/2011 10:22:41 PM

 
 



mod! MOD!
ok i see alot of my friends and everyone in a relationship. and then like 2 weeks later there broken up! and i want to be in a relationship with this guy but im really scared thats its just going to be a 2 week thing! like i would never ever want to breakup with him! how do i not be so scared to have a relationship or how do you make relationships last?




Hey girl, that's a toughie. I think when you find the right guy and he really likes you, they do in general last more than two weeks. Remember, relationships depend on both people in them. What you and this guy have is vastly different than what your friends and their evanescent BFs do. Don't let their example dictate yours.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

report

by j4zm09 on 11/14/2011 5:50:58 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I had a disagreement with my sorta ex bf! we kinda went out that stopped in order not to hurt our one friend. now recently i've been hearing all sorts of things about whether he does or doesn't like me again. he can be really bipolar, sometimes flirty in class other times not answering my texts. one of his "reasons for not liking me" is that i don't talk to him but i do! im the one who usually starts talking to him. than yesterday over text he asked me how he should cut his hair, and i freaked out and burst. i aksed him why my opinion even matter to him, and told him that he was bipolar. than he said he didn't knowwhat he thinks any more. now things are semi ackward. should i make the first move to try and talk to him?? or wait for him to talk/text me first??? please help!!




If you wanna fix things you should text him. Boys are strange. They retaliate against you but then theyll be super nice. It differs from day to day. Good luck! xoxo kerra 
Kerra S.

report

by pati5dance on 11/11/2011 5:43:39 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!
Hey so my boyfriend's name is Dustin. He's an amazing guy and I really really like him but we've been dating for almost a month but he still hasnt kissed me. I mean I kissed him on the cheek twice and he considers that his "first kiss". I mean I'm super happy he wants to take things slow but his ex-gf broke up with him cuz he wouldnt kiss her and she realy wanted to kiss him. They had been dating for 3 months! I don't wanna break up with him cuz he won't kiss me and I don't wanna seem pushy either...
What do I do?
Kiyo




Hey babe! 

Why don't you ask him why he doesn't want to kiss anyone? Dustin might have trust issues or be really sensitive - in which case, you'll have to be there for him as a supportive girlfriend.  I think you're going to have to wait it out to be kissed, babes. Xoxoxo
Devin A.

report

by StupidChick on 11/11/2011 3:37:31 PM

 
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