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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

Help! BGF going from good guy to bad boy

 
One of my best guy friends smokes pot and gets drunk sometimes. He is really nice and smart, and it kills me that he does bad things. I care too much about him to let him mess up his life. How can I persuade him to stop? I’m afraid he won’t listen to me. Please, don’t say I can’t change him. If I don’t do something, no one will.

 

Dear True Friend,

The fact is you can’t change other people. He has to change himself—but perhaps your concern will convince him to make some changes. Tell him, calmly, that you’re worried. Remind him that drugs and alcohol are super addictive and can only lead to problems—blowing off schoolwork, severe mood swings or, worse, failing grades, school suspension, getting kicked off sports teams, even arrest. He’s lucky to have a “clean” friend like you, and I hope your encouragement is a positive influence on him.
 
 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 11/18/2011 12:00:00 AM

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well if hes in high school(or especially a sophmore) its normal but that still doesnt make it okay. honestly you do need to talk to him about it.

by shorty6901 on 10/21/2012 12:18:47 PM

 
 

Hey if you are worried about him help him out but dont get caught up in what he is doing! Please dont help him but do it to. Sorry he is like this do what you can!

by HopeIsNotHopeless on 12/28/2011 1:31:50 PM

 
 

You're his best friend, right? Then talk to him about it. If he is still doing these things, steer clear of him until he gets the idea that you disapprove.

Please visit my Advice Queen page! I really like to give advice to peeps Smile just post a question and i will answer it on your profile as soon as i see it.

by basketballcutie11 on 12/23/2011 5:24:02 PM

 
 

WOW I hope he gets his act together because that is unacceptable. I mean i know there are drugsout there and temptation but that doesnt me you have to do what people do. Dont be the type of person to ask how high is the bridge when they ask you will you jump off the bridge.

by zania on 12/17/2011 11:21:20 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
i heard from a friend that one of my other friends wants to get pregnate at 16. she told my friend that her and her boyfriend were going to get married after they are both 16.
and after they get married and he gets her pregnate he is going to enlist in the military. when my friend and her bf started going out we(all of her other friends) were really happy for her because he was the best boyfriend that she has had in a while, but now he has kind-of pushed away all of her friends. even a friend that she considers her sister. how might i persue her that this may not be the smartest idea out there?




Hey girlie,

Well you're right - this isn't the smartest idea I've ever heard. You might want to start off by telling her you're happy she's found someone so great and respectful, and that she totally deserves someone so great. But ask her some practical questions. What about college? Doesn't she want to travel? Where's she going to get the money to raise a kid? (Did she know they say a kid costs $250,000 to raise?) Doesn't she want some time with her husband before they have a kid? Is she gonna finish high school? What's she going to do when she's all by herself, her husband is deployed in the military, and she has to raise a kid alone? Don't bombard her or attack her with questions, but give her a healthy dose of reality and ask the hard questions. Try to get her to see that she might not have thought this out 100% <3
Lauren C.

by Prettytough14 on 12/15/2011 5:46:25 PM

 
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