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ADVICE | FRIENDS

Sick of your sweeties? Hit refresh on your friendship

 
You and your crew have been stuck together like glue for years now, but now your weekly sleepover gab seshes are feeling same-old, same-old. It’s natural to grow apart as you get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to bid your best girl friends goodbye. Cement that LYLAS sentiment with our top-three tips for refreshing your fabulous friendship.

 

Try something new

When your rainy day movie marathons start taking on a sense of deja-vu, it might be time to pick up a new activity. Trying something none of you have ever done before—and doing it as a group—will supply you with essential bonding time, bringing you closer together along with the rush of adrenaline that comes with freshly minted fun. You don’t have to go crazy. Skipping the standard chick flicks in favor of old black-and-whites might just do the trick.

 

Update old traditions

Tired of everyone bringing the same cookies to your Black Friday swap? Ready to amp up your annual Christmas tree decorating party? Reset the vibe of your favorite traditions by adding new twists. Bake cupcakes or build gingerbread houses instead of toting six dozen chocolate chip cookies to Christina’s house. Broaden your social circle to include your fave dudes from school for your next party. Don’t forget the mistletoe!

 

Shake things up

Still not feelin’ the love? Mix things up by adding a fresh face to your flock of femmes. Befriend the new girl at school and ask her to join you for a study party after school. Or chat up an acquaintance you’ve been meaning to get to know better. Or add your BGFs into your inner sanctum.

 

Good luck, girlie!
 
 

BY BRITTANY TAYLOR ON 11/19/2011 12:00:00 AM

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MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!
Ok, so I sent an email about this, but idk if it worked. But I'm starting to think I shouldn't be friends with my cousin. She does bad things and we're total oppisites. I mean she cusses and is rude to some of her friends. She has smoked and drank before. And she has done "it" with guys before. Now me I don't do all that. And we don't even really share all that much in common either, like when it comes to books, music, or movies. I'm worried about her like a family member should be. But I'm afraid she's not a good friend or influence for me. If I tell her how I feel, I don't know how she'll react. She can be unpredictable at times....a lot of times. Could you help me by telling me what I should do?




Hey girlie,

The good thing is this - you know you wouldn't be influenced by her! You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so you know all this stuff isn't for you. It's normal for teens to experiment and wonder about this stuff but, if you're concerned about the amount of "unpredictable" things she's been doing, try talking to your parents or uncle/aunt about it. Tell them you don't want her to know you said something, but you're just concerned and you want someone else to keep an eye on her. Of course, remember that she's free to make her own decisions. Cussing, acting "bad," and even doing it with guys aren't necessarily bad (as long as she's being safe, of course). But drugs and drinking can be serious health dangers, so saying something will help her avoid hurting herself <3 And that's a thoughtful thing to do!
Lauren C.

by Christian15 on 12/29/2011 11:32:01 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I have a lot of friends, and lots of people are nice to me. But it seems like no one really invites me to hang out anymore, or talks to me about anything going on in their life. I invite people to do stuff, and they come, but I really feel like I just don't have a close relationship with anyone. I don't have any friends that I know I could tell anything to, or who would tell anything to me. I really want close friends but I don't know what to do, help me?




Hey girlie,

You gotta put yourself out there! Your social life is what you make of it. Sure, you might luckily find a friend who makes the first move and always texts you to hang out. But more likely, you'll have to do a little work and invite them to hang out too. That way, you show you're interested, you grow closer, and you develop a stronger friendship. There's no magic way to make friends - it takes dedication, being out-going, and keeping an open mind. So try getting involved in a new activity, chatting with your new friends there, and asking them to hang out outside of the club/sport. Be patient and let some time pass - you'll find yourself clicking with them! <3
Lauren C.

by chocolate_lover*13 on 12/29/2011 9:26:13 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!
My friend is boy obsessed. She constantly has boys shes hitting on. She'll ask me in the morning if she should ask out some guy and then in the afternoon another! Its all she talks about & it gets annoying, even my mom notices and says so to me! We go to a small school too, so she looks everywhere for boys to date, from her neighbors to guys she met over the summer, she always has some fling with a boy. Thats not even the problem though. Shes way too serious about dating. She'll tell a boy she loves him & we're 13!. Shes really clingy to them, and always gets hurt. She swoons over her exes who are, ya know, not so serious 13 yr olds! She'll also post things on her facebook wall like 'forever alone... Frown' because she hasnt had a bf for 3 months! I feel like she could get rly hurt some day & could def be pressured into sumthing if a guy convinced her. Ive nvr had a bf and im totes happy! How can i convince her shes being too serious & doesnt need a guy to be happy?!




Hey girl! It is really annoying to listen to a friend go on and on about boys, especially when you cant contribute much. Just reassure her that she is her own person and dont have to have a boy in her life to be happy. She has her girl friends and those always stick around longer than boys will, especially at 13.  
Ana D.

by PandaPrincess♥ on 12/23/2011 3:56:03 AM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD********PLEASE ANSWER!!!!
ok well i have two problems. my friend has failed multiple classes 1st and 2nd quarter and I'm afraid she's going to get held back. I've tried talking to her and she just doesn't want to to her homework. I've tried EVERYTHING to get her to get her grades up and she just won't listen! Help me???
And I'm in 8th grade and i live in ohio and I want to get a job as a marine biologist when i'm older. But obviously, there is no ocean near ohio, and i've never been to an ocean. What should i do to get experience?
THANK YOU Laughing




Hey girlie,

1. You need to tell this friend what you're afraid of - that she's going to get held back and that it'll be way harder for you guys to see each other, hang out, and stay super close as friends. Unfortunately though, if she doesn't listen and step up her game, that's her call. You're not her mom so you can't force her to do anything - you just gotta understand that school works better for some people than others...and try to accept that her strengths are in other places <3

2. Try asking your biology/science teachers for supplementary materials, aka books or articles you could read about marine biology! You could also get internships at local aquariums or zoos, which will help give you experience even while far from lakes/oceans Smile 
Lauren C.

by nobody25 on 12/22/2011 8:09:40 PM

 
 

MOD Okay, I have this friend. We were really close last year. And I liked that, because she was always there for me. The thing is, her life situation isn't the greatest. Her brothers are in rehab from drugs, her dad is absent in her life and she cant afford her house. She has had cops at her door several times, and several times I've been dragged into her problems. and i couldn't take them all. slowly we pulled apart. this was last summer. now a few weeks ago, we were chatting on fb and she told me to go on her wall and look at our friendship. then she asked me what happened to it. i said we grew apart, because we did. then she blamed me for it and said we can either be friends or we cant. so i said lets just end the friendship. i feel better now, but its really awkward because i have a lot of classes with her. how do i make it less awkward? what are my next steps? this kinda thing has never happened to before! (sorry it was so long)

 

Hey girl,

 

It sounds like your friend is going through a lot, and is having trouble handling all of the pressure in her life. While it's not your job to take on her problems, she could probably use a friend. You don't have to be involved in her family and personal issues, let her know you're there for her and encourage her to talk with a trusted adult, such as a family member, teacher, doctor or guidance counselor. You can also refer her to this page for additional help: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2008/08/04/HELP!2.aspx

Meghan D.

by jaine11 on 12/19/2011 3:03:12 AM

 
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