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47 Comments | Add Yours

Boy or bestie: What to do when you and your BFF like the same guy


 

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My friend and I like the same guy, and she won’t stop talking about it! Do we have to stop being friends?

Hey girl! Crushes can be super tricky, especially when you share them with your friends. But as your mom has probably told you, guys come and go, but friends last forever. So even though it might be tempting to compete with your friend for that cutie from math class, it isn’t worth losing a friend over! So, what can you do?
 
Talk to your friend. It’s a sticky topic to bring up, but both of you will benefit from a little honesty. She might tell you that she’s moved on – in that case, great! You can pursue your crush without hurting her. Has he told her he likes her back? In that case, you should leave the two of them alone, and do your best to be happy for her – she is your friend, after all!
 

And what if you both don’t know if he likes either of you? Agree to both play it cool, because your friendship isn’t worth the trouble. If he says he likes either one of you, you can decide with your friend whether you’ll go for it or whether you’ll both agree not to date him since you value each other over a guy.

 
Whatever you do, don’t try to outdo your friend to impress your crush, and don’t say or do anything mean to her to get his attention! You’re still young, babes – there are plenty of guys you’ll meet down the road, but the friends you make now could be yours for life, so give them the respect they deserve and they’ll do the same for you.
 
 
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BY MEGHAN DEMARIA ON 12/3/2011 12:00:00 AM

POSTED IN bff, bust my bestie problem, dealing with jealousy, guys, GL's best guy advice, crush crash course

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What do you do if your crush has a crush on your BFF and knows you like him and only likes you as a friend? My crush has a crush on my BFF. My BFF knows I like him (and she only likes him as a friend. My crush asked her out w/out actually asking her out) and asked him if he likes me. He said only as a friend. The he asked my BFF if I like him and she accidentally said yes so now he knows I like him and said he'd text her asking for my number so he could text me, but he never did and my BFF can't text him or give his number to me because she lost his number. What should I do?

report

by Yoshi da GiRl on 12/23/2011 2:28:08 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD i'm an 8th grader and I've never had a boyfriend. Guys have told me I'm pretty and my brutally honest mom tells me i'm prettier than a most other girls in my school (i don't wanna sound stuck up) and I know i'm smart cuz i try hard in school and get good grades, and i think i'm kinda funny, and nice, and i am really positive but i've never had a boyfriend. I really want one, and it's my last year at middle school and I've never had a boyfriend. all the guys i like end up complete jerks to me. One guy even pretended to ask me out for $ and to impress his friends. i don't know why guys dont like me, or why i hate being single so much, but it hurts and I hate it.




Hey girlie,

You could have the most amazing qualities on Earth...but if you don't put yourself out there and keep an open mind, nothing will come of it! Get involved by joining a new club, taking part in a new sport, getting a part time job, volunteering, or joining a youth group. All of these things are ways to meet new people! Keep your eyes peeled for crush potential in the guys you meet, but even meeting a new girlie could help make your social circle grow even bigger Smile You just gotta keep trying! And once you do like a guy, do some research: see what his reputation is like, if he's had many girlfriends, if your friends think he's good, etc. Then make sure you flirt and give him hints that you like him. He won't read your mind!
Lauren C.

report

by romanticbookworm13 on 12/22/2011 6:07:31 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i like this 7th grade but im in 8th and i don't know if it's ok. At my school we count choir as a "class" and we mixed the 7th and 8th grades together in that class. the 7th grade i like is in that class with me and i think he might kinda like but im not sure and we talk alot. as you can tell i need alot of help so i would really glad if you helped me
thank you soooooooooooooooo much
MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Hey girlie,

It's totally ok to like someone in another grade! All that matters is if you have stuff in common, make each other happy, respect each other, and are in it for the right reasons Smile Age, especially just one year, is no biggie! Just keep talking to him and flirting in a subtle way to him. Grow closer as friends, get more comfy around each other, and over time you'll see how things progress! <3
Lauren C.

report

by unicornsbff on 12/18/2011 11:46:05 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD well there is this guy I really liked last year but I didn't want anyone to know yet and then all these girls were asking me if I liked him and I barely knew them so I said no. Apparently he liked me a lot and he was curious to see If I liked him back. Once I found this out ( like a month later) I was devestated. I had my chance and I blew it. And now they are saying he doesn't like me anymore! Now it's this year and I don't have any classes with him and I am sad and my bff told me she had a crush on him. ( i didn't tell her I liked him in the first place so of course I didn't get mad. Now I don't know what to do if he doesn't like me anymore and my bff likes him!




Hey girl,

Ouch! Tough situation...but nothing you can't deal with. First off, try to grow more comfortable around him as a friend first. Join a club that he's in, ask him for homework help, or try using mutual friends to set up a hangout. Get to know him better and flirt in a subtle way. That way, you grow closer and get to know each other better. Over time, you can try flirting more and seeing how he responds. He could still like ya, but decided to stop crushing since he thought he didn't have a chance. Or he really could've moved on. You'll never know until you try to flirt and see how he reacts !<3 
Lauren C.

report

by chunkypie4 on 12/17/2011 12:52:56 AM

 
 

Mod mod mod! Are sophmore boys less likely to associate with freshman girls kf he has girl friends that are sophmores and juniors cuz this seems to be the case with my crush/neighbor




Hey Chica,

Just as all boys are different, the people they choose to hang out with are different too. Sophomores and freshmen aren't that far apart, though, so it wouldn't be strange for a sophomore boy to associate with a freshman girl. Some guys, like your crush, just happen to have older friends. Start talking to him more and see where it goes! 
Rachel N.

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by ladyinlike on 12/14/2011 6:19:38 AM

 
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