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Does my bad rep make guys think less of me?


 
I'm a bit of a slut, but I'm OK with that, and so are my friends. But since this started, guys treat me differently. They flirt with me in private, but in public, nothing. Does my rep have anything to do with that?


Yes, you’re reputation has everything to do with that. Guys talk just as much as girls do, so if you hook up with one guy, chances are, lots of guys know what to expect from you. You’re setting yourself up for getting all the wrong treatment from guys, so it’s time to make some changes.


Even worse than guys thinking you’re a slut is you thinking you’re a slut and being OK with that. When you were little, did you think, “When I get older, I want guys to use me?” No, you probably wanted to be in a healthy and loving relationship, which you won’t ever get if you don’t have respect for yourself.


Start finding new things to be proud of, and think about changing your circle of friends. You should be surrounded by people who make you feel better, not by people who want to bring you down.

BY RACHEL NUGENT ON 1/7/2012 12:00:00 AM

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Mod
Okay so my BGF was said to have done "stuff" with his ex and current gf I have a crush on him and he knows it we r pretty close I seem to be the only girl he respects we both enjoy the same things. But in science my friends were debating what color my bra was so they called him over and showed him my bra strap then he ofcourse called over 5 of his friends to ask them they saw it too and agreed with my friends on the color and laughed. My BGF and some other guys have seen me in a sports bra before when we were on our way back from a basketball game I'm not bothered by it it's like a bikini. But my friends sometimes say I'm a slut for little things like that. Also there is a 8th grader who also did stuff who I kindly like but he always stares at me when in the hall or when I walk into the classroom as he is leaving. He's said some inapropiat things to me in the past and he always turns his head to watch me walk by. Please mod thanks soo much!!




Hey girlie,

I don't see a problem here! You're not always gonna make everyone happy - some people will talk behind your back, and some people will judge you. But as long as you stay true to yourself and never feel pressured to do something you aren't ready for, you're ok! Like if you ever started dating one of these guys - just because they've "done stuff" in the past does NOT mean you need to start doing stuff with them right away, if you aren't ready or comfortable with the idea. You don't need to do anything to keep a guy around. If he's respectful, he'll wait for you.




If you want to preserve your reputation you might wanna keep the bra straps under your shirt from now on, but you're NOT a slut even if you did show them once in a while. I think your friends need to learn the real definition of the word if they're gonna keep using it - even though they shouldn't be judging either way! <3 
Lauren C.

by farmer16 on 5/13/2012 12:08:45 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD: Hey the same thing is happening to me at my school, but I'm not Okay with people calling me a slut..my best friend knows that im not but it seem like every time I say no to a guy that ask me to do things there is always a new rumor going around that I did do something with them.. I am sick of the stupid rumors and because of the rumors the guy I have a crush on won't even talk to me and the guys look at me different. I don't like it and I don't know what to do and I think I've tried everything :/

 

Hey girl, it sounds like you might need to talk to an adult. Rumors are never something fun to deal with, but they can be especially hurtful when they create a bad reputation for you. If you aren't comfortable talking to your parents about the situation, then I would suggest that you see your guidance counselor for help. You can also try talking to your crush in private after school. Explain the situation to him and tell him that the rumors are really hurtful and that they are not true. If he isn't willing to listen to you, then he isn't someone who would be a good support for you anyway. I know it's tough, but try not to let the hurtful rumors upset you. Ignore the gossip--you know the truth and that's what matters. Eventually, others will learn their lesson about spreading lies.

Colleen K.

by SkilletLover0810 on 3/7/2012 10:33:54 AM

 
 

Whoa!

Y would anyone be okay 2 be a slut!
Weird!
Good thang Im not lyk tht or
I wouldnt have the BEST BF EVER!!!!

by Susmita24 on 2/17/2012 4:11:06 PM

 
 

caroline-No on the sexy pics,
I wouldnt be sending any pics like that to some guy who isnt even your bf. Guys ask for thong and bra pics all the time, and I know a lot of people send them and worse and guys even send us worse.

But if you want him to respect you I wouldnt be sending them just for his pleasure. Who knows what they do with them and who they show. I think its a bad idea. I know people wont all agree with me but that is my opinion.

by luckykel on 2/11/2012 1:06:02 PM

 
 

Guys HATE sluty girls trust me most of my friends are guys
just dont be a slut if thats u then ok but if you want guys to like you then dont be a slut!!!!!!!

by Gymnast#1 on 2/10/2012 6:34:03 PM

 
 

Ok so one of my best guy friends,i don't have any girls who i am really friends with, he asked for a pic of me in my thong or bra i told him no. So he went and told all his friends. Should i just send a pic so it will clear things over with him? I need help respond please!!!

by caroline;* on 2/10/2012 6:14:45 PM

 
 

theres this girl in my grade whos been called a slut and it really bothers her but she also cant help who she is and she deffinetley isnt changing anytime soon so reallly all i have to say is that if ur going to act like that around guys u have to be able to pay the price

by kpecina65 on 2/9/2012 4:10:04 PM

 
 

no offense, but u shudnt b "ok" with being a slut

by girlsjustwannahavefun333 on 1/31/2012 5:57:23 PM

 
 

I hate how guys can act all horny and be rewarded for being a "man" but if girls dress provocatively or act promiscuous they are labeled sluts. It's a double standard and it's just wrong. And to answer this question, First of all don't think of yourself as a slut. Second of all, If you like a guy, try to channel your attention to him and only him.

by earthyartist on 1/18/2012 8:21:06 PM

 
 

My friend thought she was pregnant once...... She wasn't though ......Smile

by favcolorgreen on 1/18/2012 5:21:52 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD
I like this guy in one of my classes. He sits right behind me and talks to me everyday. A few days before winter break I gave him my # and he hasn't called or anything. He is moving late feb early march to another state. I want to tell him that I like him but dont really know how. I don't want to sound desperate. And should I be worried that he hasn't called or texted? Any tips help!!!
Thanks,
Natalie




Hey Natalie,

Try talking a little online (Facebook, AIM) or asking him to work on homework with you after class. Do little things to get to know him even better! He might've felt awkward calling or texting since he didn't have much to say. But if you grow a little closer, it won't seem as strange Smile Then that way, you'll be better friends...and confessing your feelings won't seem as strange, either!
Lauren C.

by mkdancer98 on 1/15/2012 2:03:26 AM

 
 

Guys can be sluts and no one even cares or says anything negative about them. We act slutty or dress provocatively and its the end of the world. What a weird double standard. Personally I believe its better not to act that way (even guys shouldnt) but we are all different. And I dont think I would want a bf who was spreading his love all over the school.

by luckykel on 1/13/2012 10:12:38 PM

 
 

i have a friend who's a slut. i was totally shocked when she told me she wanted to be a playboy bunny or a prostitute when she grows up! she already goes to a counselor, but her problems just get worse. she wears clothes that might not even be QUALIFIED as clothes in summer, and in winter, she wears these gauzy shirts that you can see her bra through. what should i do? if i tell her that she's kinda a slut, im afraid our 7-year friendship will be shattered! Frown

by CupcakeCutie_21 on 1/13/2012 9:11:54 PM

 
 

u have extreeeeemly low self esteem if ur ok with being a slut. slut=bad, if you think badly of yourself thats not good. if any of you find urself in this position talk to someone, and they will show u how much you mean to the world.

by smg135 on 1/13/2012 8:21:17 PM

 
 

*******************ATTENTION ALL DANCERS********************
If you love dancing join my club "Dancers for life". We talk about dancing. dancing stretches, friends and dance. I give advice on every thing so Join My club!!!!

by tampagirl<3 on 1/12/2012 7:55:36 AM

 
 

Hey beaniebag12, yep sounds like he likes ya to me. He probably already knew what the homework was but just wanted to talk to you. Now the question is do you like him?



MOD MOD MOD MOD
Okay so me and this guy are pretty close friends. We text a lot, joke around, but it's kind of awkward (i used to be really shy and weird around him but i'm over that). He texted me today asking for the science homework, but I was sitting right next to him when he wrote it down earlier. Is he just doing this to talk to me and is there a possibility he likes me? Lynae P.

by beaniebag12 on 1/11/2012 7:40:48 PM

 
 

Wait!!! Ur OK with being a slut????!!!!! Thats not kool! Theres ONE guy out there for u and u wouldn't like it if he was with all the girls in his school! So u shouldn't be doing the same thing!

by CupcakePanda on 1/11/2012 3:41:46 PM

 
 

that is the complete opposite for my school the only girl guys date are sluts!

by tampagirl<3 on 1/10/2012 6:15:07 PM

 
 

Whether we are a goody to shoes or are kind of slutty remember there is that one guy for you. We all wonder if someone will like us for who we are and get all concerned if we are normal. We should just be ourselves. If one person doesn't like it, too bad because you need to be who you are.

If you are saving yourself for that one special person stay strong and be confident, if you aren't then at least be smart and take the precautions about what you are doing.

by luckykel on 1/8/2012 6:32:44 PM

 
 

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then join the club POPULAR BOOKS! we discuss the movies, the series, actors, characters, and other kewl things! :o)

by briana13 on 1/8/2012 1:13:03 AM

 
 



Mod mod mod! How can I ask for a guys number without sounding desperate or obvious or anything? Thanks so much!!!




Hey babe,

I loooove this quick tip for giving a guy your number. That's great because it puts the ball in his court and lets him call you if/when he's feeling it. You can be super cute and sassy by admiring his stylish iPhone, asking to see it, then adding your number to the mix. I think it'd take it to the next level if you gave it back and said with a cute smile, "You'll have to use it to text me sometime." He'll be impressed by your confidence! <3
Lauren C.

by eco_chica on 1/7/2012 11:25:43 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
I've known my friend since 8th grade and we're now in tenth. Lately she's been really mean, to everyone! And it's not like she's going through a hard time or anything, because she's been like this all year! She sits right next to me in one of my classes. And I mean thisclose. There isn't even any desk space so anyways she always complains about people she doesn't like and I can't even avoid it. Her excuses are pretty bad too. Like she doesn't like this one guy becase he didn't stop his friend from drawing smileys on our project. And when I try to ask her why she's so grumpy, she just tells me I talk too much and that sometimes she want to shoot me in the face because of it! I'm sick of her, but I can't move spots and I don't want to be mean. But it's gotten so bad that if I even talk to someone she's complained about she glares at me! What can I do?!




Hey girl,

Geez, she's really intense. And she's dragging you down with her negative attitude, I can tell! Try to stay quiet while she's gossiping as much as you can - don't encourage her at all with any nods or "Yeahs" while she's talking. That'll only make her keep going. You could even try totally ignoring her - if she doesn't get any response, she might feel weird about doing it so often. And when it gets to be too much, say something like, "Can you just stop complaining about him for a minute? Gosh." Everyone has a breaking point - and since you've tried to talk to her calmly about this, getting frustrated might actually be the only other option. Otherwise, spend more time with your other friends and surround yourself with happy, positive people whenever possible. Hang in there, girl! It's a tough situation but I know you can do it <3 
Lauren C.

by Babygirlilla on 1/7/2012 9:24:45 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
I'm a goody two shoes. Will guys still want to go out with me? People say I'm the smartest in math and I don't swear and stuff like everybody else. I'm worried guys wont like me because of that.




Hey girlie,

Some guys could be intimidated by intelligence, but other guys will LOVE the fact that you're smart and you speak that way. There's no rule - no trait that will 100% always make guys love you. Every guy is different and looks for different things in a girl. I know there is a guy (heck, more than one! Lots!) out there who would find your smarts and your personality totally attractive Smile
Lauren C.

by txtingirl on 1/7/2012 8:54:15 PM

 
 

Hey emilyb, you have to stop focusing on the history and start paying attention to the present. This guy doesn't sound like he's any good for you, so why keep hanging on to him? He drives you crazy because he knows he can, because you won't ever do anything about it. So cutting him off as a friend will let him see that he can't treat people the wrong way. Hope this helps! Xoxo





Type text here

MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD MOD
so i've been freinds with this guy for about 7 years. i've been through so much with him and just recently hes changed. we stopped talking for a while, but then we started becoming freinds recently. we have romantic history but we've never t actually gone out, just flirting and stuff. in the past year hes managed to flirt with all of my friends, even kissed one of them causing a lot of drama. ever since the kiss hes resenting my friends and im the only person he doesn't hate, which is awkward. he's egocentric and drives me crazy ], but because of the history i don't feel like i can drop him if he doesn't have any friends. wbat do i do, keep holding on to the friendship even though it tortures me and my friends or drop him? Lynae P.

by emilyb on 1/7/2012 8:52:11 PM

 
 

To all the girls who are like "OMG! They used the word slut! How inappropriate!": Grow up! Also, there are a lot of other words they could use instead of slut. What word would you like them to use?

by loveTC247 on 1/7/2012 8:23:28 PM

 
 

You can do what you want but if you want to change your image just be a slut with one guy and not a bunch of them. We are looked at differently than guys, they can sleep around but if we do we are labeled slutty. Thats the way it is so if you want to change, think about being with just one guy you like and not a bunch.

We all have friends like you, and we have heard about the talk shows that have had teens on who are doing things with multiple guys, so if you dont want to be like that then just make that decision. I know its hard, I have a cousin who is kind of like you. She tells me she wants to stop but she cant, I think you can stop if you really want to.

by luckykel on 1/7/2012 7:59:53 PM

 
 

It said you made your reputation like that.... Don't be okay with that. Guys shouldn't blow you off... You need to not only change your image but your confidence and how you think of different things. Respect yourself.

by amileofroses on 1/7/2012 7:00:00 PM

 
 

@nosynewt The photograph pertains to the subject, so it makes sense. And this is pretty awesome advice.

Join my club, 'Orchestra Nerds and Band Geek.' It's a loose and fun club where we talk about anything and everything- But especially music Smile Go to my profile to join!! svds

by svds on 1/7/2012 6:49:19 PM

 
 

I agree with nosynewt. Find a different pic!!!

by DaNcInGQu33N9812 on 1/7/2012 6:47:21 PM

 
 

um, hello? OF COURSE it has something to do with it!!!! No guy want's to be seen with a slut. Sorry, gotta face da facts

by DaNcInGQu33N9812 on 1/7/2012 6:42:33 PM

 
 

Okay,I need to talk to you,as a friend. There is nothing good about being a slut,or being OK about being one. Honey,guys will now just use you because they know that they can um,play you with no problem. Also,I'm sorry but it's kind of obvious that some guys think of you. I think you shouldn't sell yourself short like that. I'm wishing the best for you,and I'll pray for you also♥

by iluvmusic♥ on 1/7/2012 6:39:23 PM

 
 

maybe you could try something different like maybe not girly girl or tom boy but somehting rigght in the middleSmile

by miamac01 on 1/7/2012 5:25:13 PM

 
 

Hang in there, girl! I'm sure this ISN'T the kind of reputation you want to have as you go into high-school and beyond, as you want to start getting serious with boys and all they want to go is hook up, so it's never too late for a new beginning! And 2012; year of the dragon is DEFINITELY the year to start(:
I am honestly praying for you.<3

by Malgal22 on 1/7/2012 4:44:33 PM

 
 

"when i get older, i want guys to use me!!"
^^^^^ SEEMS LEGIT

by jennifer0709 on 1/7/2012 4:19:36 PM

 
 

Huh... She calls herself a slut, but doesn't understand why guys think less of her... Also, I feel like the photo is extremely inappropriate for a site called GIRLSlife.com (Hint on GIRLS) I suggest you take this down...

by nosynewt on 1/7/2012 4:16:28 PM

 
 

oh and i forgot to warn u that u might catch something from that ;)

by jennifer0709 on 1/7/2012 4:14:31 PM

 
 

oh yeah because being a slut is totally cool. *sarcasm*
self respect; u have none
u did this to urself

by jennifer0709 on 1/7/2012 4:13:25 PM

 
 

Wow. Why would you be proud of being a slut? Girls these days....

by biffo on 1/7/2012 3:30:38 PM

 
 

Hey FigureSkater08, yeah I think he was just nervous too. Not all guys are confident in making the first move and talking to girls. So you'll probably have to start some of the action with this guy girl. Maybe next time you can go up to him. Hope this helps!! Xoxo



MOD MOD! yesterday the friend of the guy I like said the guy I like is having his bday party tonight and we shud ding dong ditch him so I said ok! And then me my two friends my brother and his friends drove to his house and they were outside playin ball so my brother nd his friends went up to them and they started talkin and the guys ended thinking my brother was cool and then me nd my friends walked out there too but the guy I like and his other friend were kinda standing off to the side just watching us and I was wondering y he didnt come over to us and my mom said she thinks it's bc he might have been nervous to come over to us bc my brother was at this school event w his gf and he was nervous to talk to her. Why do u think he might have just stood there and he didn't look mad he was just kinda there but he was like walkin w us but n the backish help pleasee! Thank u! Lynae P.

by FigureSkater08 on 1/7/2012 1:33:31 PM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD MOD
So there's this guy that I've like for a while. The other day, he was texting my friend and he asked her if he should ask me to the Spring Formal which is like 5 months away. Naturally, I got super excited. But then yesterday, my friend asked him why he wanted to go with me. Like if he liked me or what, and he wouldn't look at her and mumbled" well she doesn't talk to much guys(which totally isn't true) and I don't talk to much girls(which isn't true either) so I didn't think either of us would get a date, so I figured I'd just ask her". That made me pretty upset, but my friend thinks that he was just being shy about liking me. Do you think he actually does like me and is just shy?

Hey girl,

There's no real way to know if he likes you without asking him, but if you like him, why not go to the formal together and see how things go? You might have fun!

Meghan D.

by crazydreamer16 on 1/7/2012 11:44:56 AM

 
 

Mod mod mod!
My BFF just started dating a guy. I don't feel jealous or anything but I have a crush and I want to know how to flirt. PLEASE ANSWER!

Hey girl,

Meghan D.

by katgrace11 on 1/7/2012 10:41:42 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD! (:
I've had a crush on a certain boy for almost two years. I always catch him staring at me. At lunch he asks me to sit with him & we share our food with each other. Yesterday my friend told me that my crush came up to her & was asking her about me. The thing is... I'm horrible at flirting...do you have any advice? He's in my math class, spanish class, and five of my seven lunches.
Also, after two years I still don't have his number! He never had texting on his phone but as of last week he's finally allowed to text. I don't know how to ask for his number without sounding...well, desperate. Do you have any ideas? We're good friends so it is kinda odd that neither of us have ever asked for each other's numbers. :/
Thank you so much!!!<3

Hey girl,

If he's in a couple of your classes, try talking about class and school, and you'll progress into tlaking about other stuff! If you're friends , it wouldn't be weird to ask for his number. Good luck!

Meghan D.

by smiley.<3 on 1/7/2012 10:20:18 AM

 
 

mod mod. Please answer!!
On New Years ev. i spent the night at my friends house, and her brothers friend was there 2. lets call him mike. Mike really likes me and i found out that night, and we talk all the time, but he doesnt go to my school. So i dont really see him all that much. Mike says the sweetest things to me, and i sort of like him too. But he already asked me out. Also i would date him but my bestfirend already did, and she said it would be fine if i dated him, but i still think she would be kind of mad. What do u think i should doo? everyone keeps saying i should go out with him..

Hey girl,

If she said it's fine, take her word for it -- but keep discussion of your dates and relationship with him to a minimum when she's around, out of courtesy.

Meghan D.

by abbygirl12 on 1/7/2012 10:14:29 AM

 
 

My mom doesn't even let me say the word "slut"! One day people called me that and I came home and cried! Frown

by pinkguitar98 on 1/7/2012 9:50:04 AM

 
 

Need advice on anything?? Ask me!!!!!
I'll try to answer any question
~MATKINS8~

by matkins8 on 1/7/2012 8:52:45 AM

 
 

MOD
Thanks for helping! My crush is in my gym class, which is a semester coarse, i dont think we have any classes together next semester and he's a 10 grader, should i just find a new crush to think about? We've talked once on facebook but that was to only ask me a question

Hey girl,

It's your call -- if you want to stay in touch, you can certainly chat on facebook, but there's no harm in checking out some new guys, too!

Meghan D.

by elevenbailey on 1/7/2012 8:48:51 AM

 
 

MODMODMOD.I just figured out on Tuesday that me and my best friend like the same guy.She's told a lot of girls in our classes and I'm okay with it because shes my best friend I ever had except for one thing. I don't want to sound mean or anything but she told the two biggest gossips in my ELA class,and one of them sits right next to the guy we like in geography.Please help me and reply.

Hey girl,

Ouch -- things can be tricky when you and a friend like the same guy. Don't be afraid to tell her that she hurt your feelings by spilling your secret and that you like to confide in her because you trust her. Check out this post for more tips on liking the same guy as a friend! http://www.girlslife.com/post/2011/12/02/Boy-or-bestie.aspx?cp=all

Meghan D.

by snowver11 on 1/7/2012 8:39:47 AM

 
 

Whoa, I thought this site was appropriate, my mom would NOT want me to be reading the word "slut" on a website like this, in fact, I'm not even allowed to SAY the word "slut", wow, just wow

by clem10 on 1/7/2012 6:47:01 AM

 
 

Hey girls! This is Kayla9, and I wanted to let you know that I give advice on:
-Guys
-Family
-Friends
-Bullying
-Acting
-School
-Fashion
-Hair
-Popularity
-Sports
-Art
-Pets
-Making money
-Health
-Books and writing
-Feeling good
-Decorating
-Baking and cooking
And anything you can possibly think of!!! Just comment on my profile and I will get back to you ASAP.
XOXO, Kayla

by kayla9 on 1/7/2012 1:05:03 AM

 
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